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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if it's grim moving up north

316 replies

Eugenekrabs1 · 29/08/2015 20:24

I am from the south (England) and have lived here for most of my life. DH is from the north but has lived in the south for many years. We have children who are school age.

Circumstances have changed for us recently and because of this, we are considering a move to H's northern homeland. I'm wondering what other people's experiences of moving their family have been like.

H has friends and family there whereas I (although being welcomed by them) will not have any friends and will need to find a new job. Our kids are not keen to move.

In short, we don't have to move but there are lots of pros to us taking the leap. At the moment I have a list of pros and cons which I will proceed to bore you with....

Pros
Bigger house with little mortgage
Job change for me (something I want)
DH is close to friends and family - lovely for him
Can get a dog (all want one, current house small)

Cons
Taking kids out of schools they are happy in. They will have to make new friends.
Once we sell in the south it is unlikely we will be able to afford to return
No friends/family close to me
Leaving an area I like (but a house that's too small and expensive to extend)
Rain up north

I'd be grateful to hear any tales of similar moves. Is it grim up north or should I just stop being risk averse and make the move?

OP posts:
MetallicBeige · 30/08/2015 21:03

Love a 'turn' I do. Grin Used to go to the 'club' with my Grandma and Grandad throughout my childhood and when home from university, crisps and pop when I was a young 'un, endless G & Ts (acceptable lady beverage) from grandad and all his pals when I was old enough. Bless them.

I was out in a local town one night and ordered a pint, the barman asked if it was for me, "yes" I tell him. "Oh no pet, I'm not serving you a pint, I'll give it to you in two half glasses, ladies can't drink pints".
We also had a local takeaway that did a 'Ladies Parmo' a half size one, for our delicate lady appetites. It was still too big for me to be fair. Grin

boovmoves · 30/08/2015 21:13

Thr city where dh is from there are boarded up houses I think that is what stood out for me when I first went to his area. I have never seen a boarded up house in the south even in the less affluent areas. There are nice places everywhere, but a lot of places up north don't have the investment.

I grew up in the midlands and it was ok, but not as many things to do as where I am now. My dad starts everything with 'ooo you don't get /couldn't do/wouldn't see this is the midlands'

RockerMummy184 · 30/08/2015 21:20

metallic the pint in 2 halves really made me Grin

I love when I go to the club with my grandparents that I can get a house double g&t for about £2.50 (and only need to use half the bottle of t so the next round is even cheaper). You can spend £20, have a good few drinks, get a parmo and a taxi home, but the get conned into spending another £40 on bingo books, tote, the raffle and the seafood man!

QforCucumber · 30/08/2015 21:25

Haha I've had the same - night out in Colchester and asked for a pint of stella, some random man came over to me and said 'excuse me I have to ask, are you northern? All the women in here have wine or cocktails so I thought you muSt be' turned out we went to neighbouring schools haha.

MetallicBeige · 30/08/2015 21:33

Don't forget your pound for the meat draw. Grin Bingo can be very... tense.

MetallicBeige · 30/08/2015 21:36

Grin Crying at the seafood man.

Shockers · 30/08/2015 22:00

What is a 'parmo'?

monkeysox · 30/08/2015 22:34

Parmo en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parmo
Yummy, sold in teesside pizza takeaways.

5Foot5 · 31/08/2015 00:07

What is a 'parmo'?

Oh God we came across these recently. DH was born and brought up in the NE (Darlington) but has lived in Cheshire for thee last 30+ years. We went for a family get together in the Spring up in Darlington and "parmo" was on the menu. His DB and SIL were bigging it up as a thing to have so we tried it. Bleugh!

5Foot5 · 31/08/2015 00:10

I have lived all over Manchester and the surrounding areas. Including areas better than Wilmslow

Macclesfield!!!! SmileSmileSmile hic Wine

FattyNinjaOwl · 31/08/2015 01:13

I can't believe someone said Preston is grim Shock
I live here so it can't possibly be grim OK, maybe the majority of it is a shit tip but there's nice bits too

CalmYoBadSelf · 31/08/2015 01:24

It's like everywhere, some nice bits, some shit bits

We moved North when DCs were very small then further North some years later. It was great for the children, I think they had a better childhood here than if we had stayed in our very tiny house down South with both of us working full time and struggling to survive. I am conscious, now that we are approaching retirement though, that our options are more limited than if we had stayed down there purely because our house (our major asset) is worth so much less

nokidshere · 31/08/2015 01:57

FattyNinjaOwl I grew up in Fulwood on the Garstang Rd - that was nearly 40 years ago and Preston was pretty grim even then Grin

Postchildrenpregranny · 31/08/2015 02:02

Would love to know what you can buy in London for £200,000. nokids .DD1in process of buying 2bed flat in SE London for £317,00 . It's not big or in posh area .
DD2buying same square footage in Manchester for £125,000

nokidshere · 31/08/2015 02:18

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-47926814.html - well there's a very nice houseboat..

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-52033487.html - a flat..

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-51457141.html - and even a block of flats Wink

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-51447766.html

I'm sure there are more available - it surely just depends on where you want to live surely.

nokidshere · 31/08/2015 02:22

The point wasn't the price of property - it was that there are good/bad, cheap/expensive properties everywhere. I wouldn't pay 200k for a crap property in London, but neither would I pay 200k for a decent one in Rochdale - because I don't want to live in either of those places.

MummaGiles · 31/08/2015 06:59

We have running water, indoor plumbing and even electricity up here now. It's great!

Seriously though, if you're moving to 'near Manchester' from the SE, you'll get a much bigger property for your money, and almost certainly have a shorter commute to work unless you're planning on living in the sticks somewhere. You can also very quickly be in some stunning countryside.

There's a Harvey Nichols and two branches of Selfridges in Manchester and lots of 'London' restaurants have started migrating North - Hawksmoor, Burger & Lobster, Iberica have all opened up recently and Wahaca and Comptoir Libanais aren't far behind. There are black cabs and Uber.

As for making friends, your DC will make friends at new school and you will meet people too, it's daunting but people relocate all the time.

Moanranger · 31/08/2015 07:00

!!! Parmo in U.S. ( usually in the country, not a NYC or LA dish) Is chicken fried steak! Love it, tho probably 30 yrs since I had one!!!

Shockers · 31/08/2015 07:11

Garstang Rd, Fulwood is one of the nice areas of Preston! Confused

Having said that, there's no way I'd live in Preston, or any other city. We are in that vicinity, but in a more rural location. It's lovely.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 31/08/2015 07:25

I love Manchester, but as I mentioned in my earlier post, we would never move back there because of the weather. It really really is dull and wet generally speaking, and having grown up with it, neither DH nor I can face living with it again. If you are not bothered by bad weather, I would strongly recommend living there as Manchester is otherwise great. It's just not for us. We put up with some of London's inconveniences as we feel the dry climate and sunshine make up for it. (And yes, I am aware that it's raining at the moment Sad).

CrumbledFeta · 31/08/2015 07:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flowerpower41 · 31/08/2015 07:38

I think you will find it is way more relaxed than the south.

I lived in Suffolk until the age of 19 then I moved to London until I was 44 and I then moved with ds who is aged 3 to Derbyshire. Although somewhat different the primary school is excellent and he has a high achieving large secondary school to go to in a year.

People are quite insular in Derbyshire but that won't necessarily apply elsewhere 'up north.

In time you will come to prefer the north for its non-judgemental easygoing approach to things and it is far more relaxed.

There are of course some disadvantages like the rain but it is so amazingly clean and after 7 years of it up here I still admire the large clean drops on the window pane at times! The slugs and snails even look so astonishingly healthy :).

As for buying things you can either order online or go into the nearest largish city - the only problem I would say after living in London umpteen years first is they haven't measured my bust so well when I purchase bras! I can live with that though as that is only an experience I go through twice yearly :).

For socialising op I would recommend www.meet-up.com to find women your age group perhaps dh can babysit while you go out even it is only twice monthly to meet new people. It can be hard to break into social territories once we are older....

It is also less litigious and worked up here so much easier after stresses and strains of London. :)

Good luck!

Aramble · 31/08/2015 08:19

Would never swap some of the world's most stunning countryside being on our doorstep. Have lived and worked in London and go back regularly.

monkeysox · 31/08/2015 08:44

Aramble agree scenery is lush.

5foot5 Darlington not so good for parmo (I was born there)
www.gazettelive.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/parmo-world-championships-2015-finalists-9934514

Have visited London but always felt dirty.

Like Devon though, it's beautiful.

FattyNinjaOwl · 31/08/2015 08:53

nokids Grin how do you think I feel? am on farry park! It's not as bad as people say actually, but still grim. Also lived on callon through my teens.