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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if it's grim moving up north

316 replies

Eugenekrabs1 · 29/08/2015 20:24

I am from the south (England) and have lived here for most of my life. DH is from the north but has lived in the south for many years. We have children who are school age.

Circumstances have changed for us recently and because of this, we are considering a move to H's northern homeland. I'm wondering what other people's experiences of moving their family have been like.

H has friends and family there whereas I (although being welcomed by them) will not have any friends and will need to find a new job. Our kids are not keen to move.

In short, we don't have to move but there are lots of pros to us taking the leap. At the moment I have a list of pros and cons which I will proceed to bore you with....

Pros
Bigger house with little mortgage
Job change for me (something I want)
DH is close to friends and family - lovely for him
Can get a dog (all want one, current house small)

Cons
Taking kids out of schools they are happy in. They will have to make new friends.
Once we sell in the south it is unlikely we will be able to afford to return
No friends/family close to me
Leaving an area I like (but a house that's too small and expensive to extend)
Rain up north

I'd be grateful to hear any tales of similar moves. Is it grim up north or should I just stop being risk averse and make the move?

OP posts:
ethelb · 30/08/2015 16:29

OP, I think people here have been a bit odd and not answerd the question tbh. In your OP you lumped 'the south' together as much as you did 'the north'.

As a born and bred Londoner who has lived in Manchester for a number of years, but is now back in London, I would give my right arm to move back for many of the pros you listed and many, many more.

Some of the reservations I would have however:
The rest of the country, and yes particuarly the north and areas around Manchester are much more ghettoised than they are in London. It's like multiculturalism missed certain parts of it. You will live in a white middle class area if you are white and middle class because quite simply that is what people do. As a white middle class person from Hackney, I found this pretty odd.

Living in white middle class areas of Manchester is not necessarily that cheap.

I would miss the art galleries and diversity of culture in particular. The Manchester Art Gallery is about the most abysmal excuse for an art gallery I have ever been in, and find lots of Mancunian's defence of it really odd. I do however, think this is the fault of policy that has failed to invest in culture in cities other than London though.

People expecting me to apologise for/justify my southern accent in a weird chippy way. It is a tiny but vocal minority who are never called on it.

But that really is it!

The weather is not that bad. A lot of wingeing about poor weather seems to be to be based on a chippiness over an imagined climate in the south of England that simply doesn't exist. Yes it is colder and wetter, but not life changingly so.

Similarly, a lot of my peers have played the poor little Northerner card who had to go to awful schools in Manchester in a strange attempt to garner sympathy. I think they simply aren't aware of what London schools are like/were like in the 1990s! Lucky them..... Your children will almost undoubtedly go to better schools than if they were in London quite frankly.

RandomMess · 30/08/2015 16:38

I would love to know what you can buy in London for less than £200k!!

Unfortunately London prices really have rocketed that much recently Sad

Living away from London/SE gives you much more choice/possibilities of where to live etc. on "ordinary" salaries, even NMW.

nokidshere · 30/08/2015 16:59

There are plenty more under 200k

RandomMess · 30/08/2015 17:00

First one cash buyer only...

2nd one that is only 50% of a shared ownership...

apricotdanish · 30/08/2015 17:04

It looked great nokids but shared ownership so wouldn't be the buyer's outright.

nokidshere · 30/08/2015 17:21

tbere were plenty of others ????

IWasHereBeforeTheHack · 30/08/2015 17:22

ValancyJane: I was born down south, we moved up to Yorkshire when I was almost seven. I lived in Wales for Uni, and then Worcestershire and London, so have lived all over the show.

Don't want to derail, but York is only about 400 miles from Penzance, but nearly 500 miles from Thurso, and that's still on mainland UK. So you haven't exactly lived 'all over the show', you have experience of living in the bottom two-thirds of the UK. Let's get things in perspective.

You remind me of a British student we once met (abroad), from Leeds (Leeds in Yorkshire, for the avoidance of doubt). My friend was from Inverness, and the other British student told me she 'didn't think anyone lived that far north'.

Ahem.

NoMoreRenting · 30/08/2015 17:32

But nobody is saying that overall average isn't more in London. That doesn't mean there aren't areas of the North that are far more expensive that many areas of the South. Before moving north, dh and I also lived in Guildford, Tunbridge Wells and St Albans. Where we are now is no cheaper. Cheshire especially NE Cheshire is a very expensive place to live. Likewise areas or Yorkshire.

NoMoreRenting · 30/08/2015 17:35

I have lived in Edinburgh too. Plenty of terraced houses at 1m+.

nicestrongtea · 30/08/2015 17:35

Have been out and I am glad to see there are posts like Gym who appreciate the beauty of our lovely isle as a whole.
There are breathtakingly beautiful places all over the UK- all different.
My ideal area is Suffolk/Essex border and the views of the golden fields with white fluffy clouds is my idea of heaven Smile
That will be different to yours.
I don't know why but the whole "Like what I like, speak as I do" tendencies in certain areas of the UK leave me cold.
Its a weird sort of arrogance to insist that only you pronounce your vowels correctly Confused .

I am personally very sensitive to the cold ( medical issues) and so would really struggle with it, not to mention the heating bills!

Oliversmumsarmy · 30/08/2015 17:52

I have lived all over Manchester and the surrounding areas. Including areas better than Wilmslow and worse than a lot of seedy areas of London.

Not too sure where you get that London has had terrible weather. We have had about 3 storms because we have had months of hot weather. I don't think I ever went out without a cardy what ever time of year it was during the first 18 years of my life. Don't think there has been any change unless global warming has gone mad in the last 12 years.

NoMoreRenting · 30/08/2015 17:54

Of course it's each to their own. Some people pay extra for countryside views. Living in the countryside would leave me cold. Urban is the only way to go for me. I'd pay more to see john Lewis than to see rolling hills. That doesn't mean it's what everyone wants and good job too.

I think the thing that frustrates me is that lots of people in London/SE think
A) That the North is grim and even more frustrating; universally cheap.
B) That we'd all prefer to live in the South if we could afford it and that the most diserning of us find our way south.

NoMoreRenting · 30/08/2015 17:59

What do you mean 'better than Wilmslow'? Do you mean more expensive such as AE or Prestbury? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that. I wouldn't rather live in those areas. We chose Wilmslow for amenities and schools primarily. People chose the area best suited to their family. My issue was with your statement that the whole of greater Manchester was grim. It may not suit you but it's certainly not grim.

NoMoreRenting · 30/08/2015 20:03

And we take our DC out to eat in pubs all the time. And I don't mean harvester type things, I mean actual pubs that sell themselves on things like family Sunday lunches.
this is one we take the kids to regularly. Excellent food. Varied children's menu and a lovely outdoor play area for little ones. Such a bizarre thing to suggest. Nowhere child friendly to eat indeed! Hmm

Sirzy · 30/08/2015 20:06

I missed the comments about nowhere child friendly to eat out. Better cancel the booking at the lovely canalside restaurant we have for next weekend then!

MetallicBeige · 30/08/2015 20:22

Me and the other northern ladies, where we belong in the snug, northern husbands in the bar with the northern men. Sweet sherry please barman.

to ask if it's grim moving up north
QforCucumber · 30/08/2015 20:24

metallic i'm pretty sure the working mens club in great ayton still has a lounge and bar and though women are now 'allowed' in the bar it is still not the done thing haha!!

Shockers · 30/08/2015 20:34

"don't think I ever went out without a cardy"

Wimp Grin.

laureywilliams · 30/08/2015 20:36

You can't take children in pubs???!!! Where have you been eating?? I have never, ever, had this experience. Anywhere.

RockerMummy184 · 30/08/2015 20:37

cucumber my grandad is on the committee of a WMC and the women are only allowed in the lounge and the function room, not the bar. (Obviously except for the barmaid who's serving them all!)

They also have a rule about 'no dancing for the first half of the turn' on a Friday/Saturday night. Grin

laureywilliams · 30/08/2015 20:39

I've been there nomore. Loved it. Very welcoming (those northerners know how to throw a good welcome). Great food.

NoMoreRenting · 30/08/2015 20:46

It's one of my favourites, Laurey. Smile
There's also This which is a lovely walk up the towpath Poynton/Pott Shrigley way.

redbinneo · 30/08/2015 20:53

London for eg, that must be Northern spelling. Here in the South we write e.g.

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