...to think you shouldn't Facebook someone else's BFP?

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Have recently had (long awaited) BFP. Told MIL today. Told her it's v. early days (8 weeks I think?). Did not EXPLICITLY say not to tell anyone. An hour later she's put it on Facebook and tagged me, meaning it's visible to all. I deleted tag and got DH to ring her and get her to delete her post. No idea how many people saw it. I am absolutely fuming. DH thinks I'm overreacting and she was just excited. AIBU?

YANBU. It's not her news to share.

Does she understand how FB works and the etiquette? My mum announced DC2's birth before I managed, I was a bit but she simply doesn't understand and thought was just saying congrats to me.

If my kids or DILs told me I was going to be a grandmother, and didn't tell me not to tell anyone, I would probably tell everyone.

I don't 'do' Facebook but I know millions of others do, so I wouldn't be surprised to see the news shared on there.

YANBU to be a bit pissed off that you didn't think to tell her not to share the news, but YABU to be absolutely fuming.

Congratulations btw

I can see both sides, but I don't think you are being unreasonable. Yes, she may well be excited, but even then, there's a difference between telling a few friends and telling the world (Facebook). I would have said something before though - well I actually did with my mil. There were a few people I hadn't told yet, and needed to in person instead of them finding out 'that way'. All FB tagging has been banned, even post 20 weeks. Perhaps you can nicely explain that you don't want it posted over social media, as its a private celebration, at least at the moment.

Ugh this again...why do people do it, its not their news to share!?!

We didn't tell anyone about the pregnancy til I was 13 weeks gone, especially mil- when we did tell her she was annoyed that we 'kept it from her' she was pissed she wasn't the first to know...

The world would be easier without facebook sometimes... I cant bare it.

YANBU I would be raging. I wouldn't tell her anything in future.

Of course Yanbu. What a shitty thing to do. It's your news.

Tell people you want social media kept out of this pregnancy too, or someone (probably mil) will announce the birth too on there.

We already told people they are not allowed to put any pics of the baby up of fb either...

Slightly blaming myself for not having explicitly said "no social media" but I thought it might be implied. My DSIS who is 19 and extremely 'cool' and Instagrams her morning shit etc etc has even taken it as read!

YANBU. She was being ridiculous

Do you know you can change your fb settings so that other people's posts to your wall aren't publushed until you've reviewed them?

I think there is a combination of your MIL having a big mouth and not understanding the rules of social media.

Surely if one of your immediately family tells you they are pregnant, you ask whether the news is public yet. And if they're only eight weeks, you would err on the side of caution if you weren't sure.

YANBU - Cheeky mare!

YANBU. My MIL texted literally everyone she knew when I fell pregnant and told them soon after testing. She also bought baby clothes. I then miscarried and she had to text everyone. She was a bit more sensible after that. I'd have been furious if she'd announced any of my BFP's on FB given my propensity to miscarry.

Does it matter who told who first? Everyone's going to find out anyway, sooner or later. Makes no difference.

Does it matter who told who first? Everyone's going to find out anyway, sooner or later. Makes no difference.

Of course it bloody matters! And especially when you aren't ready to tell people yet!

Cheeky - in my case there were family members who hadn't been told that I needed to myself due to sensitivity. If my MIL had tagged me in a post, even without malice, people's feelings would have been hurt. It's not about being a special flower, needing to tell everyone yourself (although there is something nice about actually telling people face to face, another reason I hate social media and the death of actual converstaion), sometimes it's about thinking of others, beyond your own happy news.

I don't know really. Presumably she has her friends on FB and 'it's not her news' only goes so far, as actually, it is her news that she is going to be a granny.

You should have your settings altered to be asked about tags first. But too late now!
If anyone thinks it doesn't matter, have you considered that the post informed the OP's employers (via any work colleagues she may have on fb) that she was pg?!

What a shitty thing to do!

What about other close family you haven't told yet, work colleagues etc??

I mean to write a post about your pregnancy is irritating enough, but to tag you in it?! That's just ridiculous.

Of course yanbu , who does that?!

Congrats on your lovely news though

I'd be pissed off. I anticipated potential trouble and told people up front not to. Now you know what to do when you have the baby.

YANBU. My mum announced my pregnancy on FB when I was only 9 weeks, just 4 days after I'd had an early scan due to bleeding. I was very upset

I agree that she probably didn't get the ettiquette quite right because the technology has come to her later in life. I also think that if you don't tell people that news like that's a secret then its u to expect it to be kept secret. My mum told plenty of people I was pregnant without explicit permission to do so. Wouldn't have occurred to me to be annoyed about it.

I assume she isn't a mind reader so YABU.