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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if it's "culturally insensitive" to send tampons to the women in refugee camps?

121 replies

SansaryaAgain · 28/08/2015 19:26

I didn't think it would be but a woman at work sent out an email to say she's driving to Calais in a few weeks time to take supplies to the Syrian refugees in the camps there, and would we all like to contribute something. A colleague and I thought that the women there would appreciate being sent sanitary products so suggested we send tampons (yes, I know Mooncups are better for the environment but I can buy several boxes of tampons for the price of one Mooncup!) and pads.

But when we told this to the woman doing the drive over she said that under no circumstances could we send tampons as that was "culturally insensitive" of us! Now I knew some very Catholic girls back in the day who refused to use tampons so perhaps very strict Muslim women are the same, but Syria is not Saudi Arabia. Surely there would be some women there who would use tampons?

AIBU to think that Driving Woman is being a bit OTT?

OP posts:
Sl0wlyGoingINSAINIA · 28/08/2015 19:29

I think pads would be a better idea as they can be used by all the women. (Some women can't use tampons/ not aware of TSS/wont use for cultural reasons/are too young)

SurlyCue · 28/08/2015 19:30

I have no idea but is she thinking of those who have been subjected to FGM and would be physically unable to use them? Cant you send sanitary towels instead? They tend to be cheaper per item as well so you would be able to send more.

SoftDriftedSnow · 28/08/2015 19:32

Has anyone asked the women what they would prefer? Seems like a sensible starting point.

Katedotness1963 · 28/08/2015 19:34

Really? Culturally insensitive? Surely, under the circumstances they'd be happy to have anything to help with the time of the month? I can't imagine that months of whatever they use was their first thought to pack when they ran for their lives, and even if they did surely that would be needing replaced. I assume I'm being embarrassingly stupid here because I don't see the problem...Confused

Katedotness1963 · 28/08/2015 19:35

I completely missed the tampons bit and was thinking pads because that's what I use... Idiot!

OddSocksHighHeels · 28/08/2015 19:35

I have known some Muslim women who won't use tampons and they've been been British-born as well. Plenty do use them I'm sure but if you just send pads then you know everybody will be able to use them so I think that's he best option.

JokerOnTheHilltop · 28/08/2015 19:36

I spent some time in country that had been hit by the Asian tsunami. A local aid worker told me a story of how all the locals were baffled by a load of tampons they'd received and were using them as a sort of aid to mop up flesh wounds before applying bandages until a western aid worker explained. They were horrified. I'm not sure about Syria but it is definitely possible that they could be culturally inappropriate.

Sl0wlyGoingINSAINIA · 28/08/2015 19:37

I've had some Muslim friends who wouldn't use tampons as the needed to keep their hymen intact so they would bleed one the wedding night.
You can get pads cheap in homebargins etc

SurlyCue · 28/08/2015 19:37

Has anyone asked the women what they would prefer?

How would they do that? Ask them to fill in a questionnaire? Do any of those helping in calais have time to ask every woman whether she would like tampons or STs?

Sl0wlyGoingINSAINIA · 28/08/2015 19:38

Pads would also be better for women who have just given birth

steff13 · 28/08/2015 19:39

Presumably the people doing the collecting know what is and what is not appropriate. Is there a problem with buying all pads vs. pads and tampons? There are various reasons why a woman may not be able to or may not want to use a tampon. Pretty much everyone can use a pad, so at the very least pads are probably more useful.

LynetteScavo · 28/08/2015 19:43

There are various reasons why a woman may not be able to or may not want to use a tampon. Pretty much everyone can use a pad, so at the very least pads are probably more useful.

This.

SoftDriftedSnow · 28/08/2015 19:43

Surely no one is just pitching up with a load of stuff without doing a recce?

If so, then pads would make more sense or a mix of products, but for goodness sake, someone has to ask at some point. Otherwise, it swerves into "our way is best" territory.

Asking what people need when they are in crisis is pretty basic, isn't it?

LazyLohan · 28/08/2015 19:45

Yep. The countries they come from normally place a great deal of value on an intact hymen and not having one would cause all sorts of problems. Some people even have plastic surgery to reconstruct them.

Why don't you ask one of the charities that are there what they want you to send?

I believe there is one called Calaid. Because someone at my work is also doing one of these drives over and sent out a very emotive email asking for toys and colouring books and kids clothes because there are 'loads of kids there desperately in need of help'.

After she'd spoken to Calaid she had to send round a rather humiliating climb down email. Calaid said that they did not under any circumstances want goods for women or children, they wanted clothing for men only.

thanksamillion · 28/08/2015 19:46

I don't think that tampons are used around the world as widely as we might think. I lived in a country which is closer (geographically and culturally) than Syria and it was only in the last few years that they became more widely available there. Even then it was unusual for women to use them.

Sansoora · 28/08/2015 19:51

Tampons are for the most part culturally unacceptable in the Islamic World where the menstrual flow is supposed to 'flow' in the real sense.

There would also be the same kind of belief amongst Christians from that part of the world as many customs overlap each community.

LazyLohan · 28/08/2015 19:53

Have a look on Calaid's Facebook page. They say what they want and don't want. They don't want goods for women and children. They want men's clothes and smartphones. There are barely any women there.

DinosaursRoar · 28/08/2015 19:53

Or give them the money - there are well stocked supermarkets in France. These people aren't in a 3rd world country, they are in North France, it's rather shameful the French authorities aren't providing them with shelter, food and other basics.

BarbarianMum · 28/08/2015 19:57

Tampons were not used at all in the area of Nigeria that I lived. FGM played a part but there was more to it than that (not all women had been mutilated) - they just weren't used.

Pads would be a safer option in this case I think.

Verbena37 · 28/08/2015 20:05

There was a recent article written by a woman who had been over to Calais to look at the plight of women in the camps and they really needed san pro and loads of knickers. It showed them receiving bags of new knickers and the asylum seeker women sorting through them happily....pleased at all the lovely patterned knickers.

Verbena37 · 28/08/2015 20:10

Just found this from a group organising stuff....

Summary of planned action
Aside from arranging a donations drop outside of this campaign, I will be using the funds to purchase items for the people in the Calais camp, hiring a van and delivering these myself whilst spending a few days (23rd Oct onwards) in the jungle helping out, distributing, building, cooking etc. The required essentials are:

Non perishable foods
Shelter - Tents, Sleeping bags, Blankets
Clothing & Shoes
Sanitary Supplies

Their weblink is www.indiegogo.com/projects/calais-refugee-aid#/story

Birdsgottafly · 28/08/2015 20:17

There has been a big campaign for underwear and washable sanitary protection, as well as pads.

"Surely they'd be happy with anything under the circumstances "

Read about people who are displaced, exiled, driven out etc.

It's always important for them to retain something from their previous life and if there is a religions/cultural persecution background, then that need becomes more significant.

Small rituals are held on to, to keep a sense of hope that they can once again have stability and autonomy.

So, yes it would be culturally insensitive and a waste of an opportunity to supply something that is desperately needed.

They'll use the tampons for other things, such as wound care etc.

Branleuse · 28/08/2015 20:22

just send pads. Less risk of infection too

Sl0wlyGoingINSAINIA · 28/08/2015 20:23

It's always important for them to retain something from their previous life and if there is a religions/cultural persecution background, then that need becomes more significant

^^yes yes. Women who were freed from concentration camps during WW2 were given a lipstick each for that reason.

Original poster
SansaryaAgain · 28/08/2015 20:30

Ok, happy to accept that it was me who was BU so I'll send pads. I don't think FGM is the issue here, as Syria isn't a country where it's commonly practiced, but its no doubt a virginity thing.

That reminds me, I have stacks of bras that no longer fit me after breastfeeding for 18 months so I guess I could send them too.

OP posts: