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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if it's "culturally insensitive" to send tampons to the women in refugee camps?

121 replies

SansaryaAgain · 28/08/2015 19:26

I didn't think it would be but a woman at work sent out an email to say she's driving to Calais in a few weeks time to take supplies to the Syrian refugees in the camps there, and would we all like to contribute something. A colleague and I thought that the women there would appreciate being sent sanitary products so suggested we send tampons (yes, I know Mooncups are better for the environment but I can buy several boxes of tampons for the price of one Mooncup!) and pads.

But when we told this to the woman doing the drive over she said that under no circumstances could we send tampons as that was "culturally insensitive" of us! Now I knew some very Catholic girls back in the day who refused to use tampons so perhaps very strict Muslim women are the same, but Syria is not Saudi Arabia. Surely there would be some women there who would use tampons?

AIBU to think that Driving Woman is being a bit OTT?

OP posts:
DinosaursRoar · 29/08/2015 10:47

I think I'm somewhere between MoreShabby's position and "fling open the doors" - my position is, these people aren't fleeing danger, they've already fled it. They are in France, a safe, civilised, 1st world country. As much as it seems like taboo to say it on MN, there is an element of choice in being in those camps - anyone who would be genuinely entitled to asylum in the UK, would also be entitled to it in France. They could put themselves in the hands of the French authorities, they could apply to the French authorities for asylum, they don't need to come to the UK if they are genuine asylum seekers.

Interviews with the people there often fudge this issue, they ask people why they want to come to the UK and let them talk about conditions in their homeland, the quesiton of "what's wrong with France? Why are you trying to leave France?" doesn't get asked much.

It is not surprising there's not many woman and children in the camp, most mothers would flee with their children when facing danger, but would stop fleeing when safe. France is safe. As are the several other countries these people have travelled through to get to this point.

These people in Calais shouldn't be lumped with the same poor souls dying in the Med - those people are still just trying to get to safety, the people in Calais are after something more than that, and are prepared to take a lot of risks to get it. To pitch up in Calais you've rejected several safe options, suffered a lot of hardship without needing to, that takes a particular mindset and it's hardly surprising lorry drivers are scared.

DinosaursRoar · 29/08/2015 10:48

oh but to add, if someone has come directly to the UK, then yes, we should offer them help, and we should be offering to take some of the people from Greece who are struggling to support the numbers they have there.

Aeroflotgirl · 29/08/2015 10:52

Just send pads, that can be used by all women.

ChocolateTeacup · 29/08/2015 10:53

calaid.co.uk/guide/ might help you decide what to donate?

Moreshabbythanchic · 29/08/2015 11:09

I may have come over a bit harsh last night due to the fact I was waiting news on some family members who were travelling back to the UK via Calais and was rather worried for their safety. My views were entirely about the people at Calais and did not include the people fleeing wars and persecution who I entirely sympathise with.

There may indeed be 200 women in Calais but they are a small proportion of the 5,000 young men who are there and using force and intimidation on innocent people so they can force their way into UK. They are already safe and the way they are carrying on does nothing to endear me to them and if they think they can fight and frighten people to get what they want then I don't want those sort of people in my country.

If anyone doesn't like my views then tough but as we still live in a country where free speech is (still) allowed then I will say how I feel.

bluebrightbluesaturday · 29/08/2015 11:23

I can't agree with everything you say Moreshabby but I hope your family are safely back home now.
What would MN be if we couldn't disagree anyway.

SalemSaberhagen · 29/08/2015 11:24

Um, you do realise a large proportion of the people who are in Calais have fled their countries, don't you?

And newsflash: it isn't your country, sweetheart.

Nataleejah · 29/08/2015 12:33

I was wondering... Went on holiday to Morocco last month and couldn't find any tampons in shops

Doublebubblebubble · 29/08/2015 12:42

I would donate sanitary towels - as others have said they are just easier, cheaper and less likely to cause infection. I would also donate underpants, crackers, peanut butter (high nutrition value) blankets and water. Good for you for doing this. Also, I have been to a fair few Muslim countries (whilst backpacking back in the day and don't recall ever seeing tampons either...

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2015 12:50

Isnt there something about flow so if women used tampons it would still be inside the body tbh you can buy multi packs of sanitary pads for less than£2 you just need to look about you cant really dictate what women should use just because its easier for you to buy tampons. As for the they should be grateful for anything comment well that is just ignorant just because they are refugees does that mean they have to give up all dignty

Sansoora · 29/08/2015 13:07

snt there something about flow so if women used tampons it would still be inside the body

Yes, you're correct and I spoke of a few pages back.

Sansoora · 29/08/2015 13:09

I was wondering... Went on holiday to Morocco last month and couldn't find any tampons in shops

They are more readily available in ME countries where there is an expat population, the likes of C4 supermarket, or a country where there is a mix of different religions.

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2015 13:19

I must have missed your post sorry.

Sansoora · 29/08/2015 13:31

Its Ok Mrsjayy - Im just glad someone else knew about it Smile

Mrsjayy · 29/08/2015 13:36

Tbh im not sure how I knew must have read it somewhere

Pipbin · 29/08/2015 15:02

I don't want it taken away for some person who has rocked in my country thinking we owe them a living.

Well I hope that you are never in a situation when you have to rely on the help of strangers.

Moreshabbythanchic · 29/08/2015 16:53

Yes, thank you, my family have returned safely Grin.

And it is MY country and I'm proud to say it is. Also, I am not your sweetheart thank you very much.

SansaryaAgain · 29/08/2015 17:34

I can only echo what Pipbin said...

OP posts:
Moreshabbythanchic · 29/08/2015 19:23

You can only hear an echo in an empty room.

SansaryaAgain · 29/08/2015 21:21

Rather an empty room than a room with a small-minded ignorant racist in it though...

OP posts:
SurlyCue · 29/08/2015 21:27

You can only hear an echo in an empty room.

Nope. You can hear echoes in lots of places. Outside for example, and its never empty. Wink

Pipbin · 29/08/2015 22:04

You can only hear an echo in an empty room.

  1. not true
  2. what is that even meant to mean?
  3. have just a little compassion for your fellow human being.
Pipbin · 29/08/2015 22:11

Oh, and just to give some people a sense of what the Syrian's are escaping from here is an extract from the Lonely Planet guide to Homs and a picture of how Homs looks now.
Can you honestly tell me that you would stay, that you wouldn't gather your children and leave by any means you could, go anywhere you could, somewhere that you could speak some of the language or had some family?

To ask if it's "culturally insensitive" to send tampons to the women in refugee camps?
To ask if it's "culturally insensitive" to send tampons to the women in refugee camps?
BiscuitMillionaire · 29/08/2015 22:37

Surely most of the migrants at the camps in Calais are from other countries, they're not all from Syria? It seems to me that the people at Calais are not families desperately fleeing violence, but fit young men looking for a better life? Different to the people in the Mediterranean.

I agree we should help people who are fleeing from IS.

Moreshabbythanchic · 30/08/2015 07:56

The people at calais are completely different to the ones who are fleeing war in syria but you seem to think anyone trying to get into this country is deserving of being let in. Well come back in ten years time and tell me you are happy they are all here.

And if caring for my family's future makes me a small minded racist then so be it but at least I care, what about you?

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