Its fine to bring my children up gluten free

[Ironfistfunkymum]

I've been gf for 6+ years, not alergic or anything but feel so much better for it. People seem generally fine with this.

However now I have children people do seem to judge bringing them up gf. But why would if feed them something that I dont think is very healthy (grains hard to digest) and something that I don't think is very ethical (wheat production is causing more deserts due to its growing conditions).

Aibu to expect people to respect my choice and leave it at that?

oh... Quinoa. Right. I have eaten it after soaking for considerably less than 8 hours.

Iamnotawitch is there a medical reason why your DC are on a low carb diet?

Op I thing you're bonkers. As others have said, REAL allergies can cause severe illness. Get a fucking grip and stop being so ridiculous.

If you want to say "we avoid wheat" then fine, but you obviously don't really know what your on about.

you're

I can understand restricting a child's diet for health reasons, in fact if your child has an allergy you would not be a good parent if you didn't avoid them coming in to contact with an allergen.

Religious reasons, I understand if you believe an animal is not to be eaten then you are not going to feed it to your children.

Moral reasons, as a child we never ate South African fruit because of apartheid, I'd include vegan/vegetarian as moral reasons.

I cannot understand why anyone would restrict their child's diet because, er, not sure, you feel better avoiding something or you want to be trendy or...

I thought a varied diet was the best for a child with no health issues.

It sounds like OP fell into the habit because it's how she needs to eat.

I don't think OP needs to go out of her way to feed them gluten (I've never understood vegetarians who purposely feed their kids meat), but I wouldn't ban gluten either. Just see how things go.

I was vegetarian for 17 yrs & had no ill effects when I started eating meat again. Am always about so many folk who claim it's a huge upset to their system.

How you raise your DC is up to you. If you were veggie then you'd raise them veggie. You don't eat gluten, so you've chosen to raise them eating the same foods at you - which is fair enough. I think if they aren't actually intolerant though you might make their lives hard if you completely ban them from eating a cake or a biscuit at someone else's house or in cooking class at school. If those foods make them feel unwell then in time I expect they'll learn to avoid them anyway.

As for your MIL - don't that generation just love to make a fuss about 'special diets' and 'in our day we ate everything and we were all fit as fiddles'. I'm wheat-free due to IBS and my DM always makes a point when we go and stay to say 'I've been out and bought you gluten-free rolls and gluten-free cereal and gluten-free biscuits'. I never buy these foods at home because, like you, its easy to avoid wheat/gluten if you want to and those 'free-from' foods are absolutely full of crap. But I smile and thank her and repeat again that she really doesn't need to go to any trouble.

"As for your MIL - don't that generation just love to make a fuss about 'special diets' and 'in our day we ate everything and we were all fit as fiddles'. "

Yep. Nobody of 60 has IBS or coeliac disease or is a vegetarian.

Ynbu. I'm wheat free mostly due to an intolerance and I considered a gluten free diet for my baby. I decided not to due to how restrictive it is but I don't give more than one wheat based meal a day.
It's up to you what you think it's best for your children.
I didn't know about the ethical considerations but you can make a lifestyle choice, there's plenty of alternatives but like I say it is restrictive. I don't base all my parenting decisions on expert advice or medical issues. I gave my baby anti reflux formula without consulting a doctor.

My DH has coeliacs and therefore we are GF at home to avoid cross contamination therefore when we start weaning DD in a month or two she will also be GF at home as the smallest crumb can set DH off into days of agony.
I will not be forcing this outside of the home though. If she is fed gluten foods elsewhere then so be it. If she reacts badly we will get her tested for coeliacs as it is generally hereditary. However I won't stop her joining in at parties, having an ice cream cone as a treat, etc unless there is a medical reason to do so.

I think you are being very unreasonable to expect that your children avoid a lot of the common childhood foods (what's a party without party rings???) Because you would prefer they didn't have gluten as you don't eat it.

"As long as they don't get unwell I try not to think about it too much" - this sounds like you're telling people like your mil they're gluten free either for attention or to be a pita. They will get unwell if they don't have it for ages. Same as a vegetarian wouldn't be able to digest meat very well. Your children are likely to either have issues with food or eat loads of gluten when they are old enough to choose.

"But if foreign food scares you" - this comment is just really knobby. You're making it an issue around "foreign food" when it isn't. Curry is one of the most popular foods in Britain even with one being made specifically for Brits (tikka masala) so hardly "foreign" any more. People just don't like the sound of it, it wasn't a personal attack. I for example hate the texture of chickpeas so couldn't eat it.

Do your kids a favour and stop with the faddy diet. Look up what gluten actually is as you sound uneducated. Also, look up the symptoms of coeliacs disease and see how fun it is. It is people like you who make others think "a little bit of gluten won't hurt them". Well it does. It's extremely painful not to mention how awful it is vomiting so much and getting a rash etc.

Okay, that was a generalistion and I realise it was it was also ageist. Mea culpa! But MY EXPERIENCE of that generation in MY FAMILY and among the parents of MY FRIENDS is that they're quick to pooh-pooh any food intolerances and make a big song and dance about catering for special diets.

I think the OP needs a large dose of get over yourself in her diet.

It's not good parenting imo to limit a diet (and in the UK a gluten free diet is a limited diet) without medical need simply because the parent has decided this is a fad they will follow. Lets hope that OP hasn't done damage to her children's developing digestive systems by this unnecessary restriction. Did you seek medical advice before making this change, presumably from babyhood, OP? There is a big difference in doing that and in going gluten free as an adult.

OP - you know, I presume, that you can eat certain wheat-containing products on a gluten-free diet? But not if you are avoiding wheat. It really would help if you knew exactly what you don't what you and yours to be eating (if you are expecting others to feed them, I mean, or demanding special service in restaurants).

But I know they get unwell from eating refined wheat

So say you are 'raising your kids without excess refined wheat'. Seriously. It would really help those of us attempting to raise ours without gluten (because they have a medical diagnosis, and gluten - actual gluten, not pasta and biscuits - might kill them).

OP -I would be totally fine having foods with traces of gluten

^^ This does a grave dis-service to those who are actually intolerant to gltuen. Not 'just don't fancy it as long as it's not too much bother, but it's fine for me to bend the rules when it suits me'

This is one of those AIBU that goes along these lines-

OP- AIBU?

95% of MN- YABU

5% of MN- YANBU

OP- Righty ho, I'm only going to engage with the YANBU 5%, or just get into side bar discussions on the catering for Brownie camps, and not in any way consider that if 95% of posters think I'm BU I might be being a tiny bit U.

And I think the problem with soured chick pea curry isn't the forrin curry bit, but the slightly unappetising sounding soured chick pea bit.

So they aren't gluten free but you tell people they are when they are eating at their houses.

The can have oat cakes when out with you, but no one else.

Are you serious?

Can someone link the study that shows a link between gluten and adhd?

And as it goes I love spicy food, but yeah soured chick pea curry doesn't sound great. Might be lovely though.

Madhur is not one of my favourites though.

Sounds like you are all gluten free when it suits you yet you expect others to adapt things for your faddiness.

Can someone explain the glutwn/wheat thing to me?

SBP: gluten is a protein, found in wheat, barley and rye. Eating (or 'raising your children') gluten free means avoiding any ingredient derived from any of those three cereals. If you are coeliac, that's for life. You must also avoid most oats - some coeliacs can eat gluten free oats, which are grown free from cross contamination; but oats contain a protein very similar to gluten, to which some coeliacs also react.

Wheat can be stripped of gluten and used as an ingredient - making the resultant food suitable for a coeliac diet, but not for someone with a wheat intolerance.

This borders on child cruelty. I'm being serious. Children do not like to be different in general. You have not listened to the hundreds of posters who have told you that this will single your children out for no good reason. Unless there is a sudden national ban on cakes and biscuits, children's parties are based on these very things. In schools, cakes and biscuits are made by children, brought in by children, made by parents for sales etc. They bring happiness to many. (Obesity in children is a discussion for another day). Listen to the parents of children with coeliac disease. They wish their children could eat a hideous pink party ring or French Fancy just like all the others. I really hope you reconsider.

As a coeliac I just can't understand why you would impose such a restrictive diet on someone who has no medical need for it. Ok to have gf at home to avoid cc, but I think it's unecessary.

My kid tolerates ten foods. And about three of those should probably disappear from his diet but JFC he has to fucking eat something. A quarter of a tsp of banana as a trial last week made him sick.

It's socially isolating, massively depressing and I hate fuckers who play fucking stupid games around food for no good reason. And you, OP, are playing stupid fucking games because you can.

A runny nose? FFS! A RUNNY NOSE! Are you logging any runny noses that happen when traces of gluten are ingested?

And I do think it is a form of child cruelty. My kid suffers, it's heart breaking.

On the positive side for us, he tolerates gluten. Shame sushi was his favourite food and now has him sick as a dog because he can't tolerate rice. Anecdata alert--our allergist and dietician and gastro all say they are seeing higher rates of rice allergy/intolerance.

Thank you multivac