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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To show my DD you tube footage of pedestrians being hit by cars

42 replies

RattusRattus · 28/08/2015 16:58

I've not done it yet but I'm at the end of my tether with my very soon to be 11year old who simply refuses to switch her brain on around roads. Twice today I witnessed her simply walking out into a road without looking. On the first occasion I gave her a bollocking and thought I'd got the message through. Less than an hour later she does the same bloody thing.

She knows HOW to cross a road, but is too lazy / away with the fairies to actually do it.

So I thought i might show her some clips on you tube of what exactly might happen to her if she got hit by a car but I've looked at a few and they are truely horrific.

Is there anything I can show her that i realistic but isn't as hideous as the stuff I found on you tube that looks like the real deal to me Sad.

OP posts:
Thelushinthepub · 28/08/2015 17:00

Goodness no that would be awful! I understand your concern but I think I would be more inclined to just restrict her crossing roads?

FarFromAnyRoad · 28/08/2015 17:02

No - I don't think you should do that. It won't help anyway. It may be that you have to shame or embarrass her into getting her head round it - make it so that she's never allowed to cross a road without holding your hand - even in company. That should do it!

kickassangel · 28/08/2015 17:02

there used to be something about teens laughing and texting that showed one walking off the pavement and then being hit. It wasn't horrifically gory, but made the point. It was a govt. safety message - that might be easier to find.

Or you could make her watch the old green cross code messages until she is bored into submission.

WorraLiberty · 28/08/2015 17:03

What Far said, definitely!

When she starts senior school, tell her you're going to have to arrange for an adult to take her there and pick her up, if you can't do it yourself.

steppemum · 28/08/2015 17:06

I was coming on her to say NO! But then see that she is 11. I think you have to do something, because at secondary school she needs to be safe.

My kids did change their approach to road crossing last year, very sadly because a girl in dd1s class was killed. Right at the end of our (quiet) road, on a place which I would have considered to be safe to cross. She went under a bus travelling at 20 miles per hour. She just stepped out/turned round/slipped and went straight under the bus.

They do now understand that you can be hurt from a very small mistake, and they are more road aware.

Not sure what you can do to have the same impact.

RachelZoe · 28/08/2015 17:08

I thought you were going to say she was 4 or something, at 11 she is too old to be doing this, this is the age where they get more independence and are out on their own etc, she needs to get with it.

2 things you should do, 1 - maybe show her the videos, maybe the shock of it will change her ways, 2nd thing, look up mindfulness for kids and go through it with her, if shes always away with the fairies she can use some of the techniques to pull herself into the moment, this is good for lots of areas of her life.

Very harsh and scary, but shes 11, old enough to deal with it IMO.

scarlets · 28/08/2015 17:13

Maybe look online for some of those creepy 1970s government awareness videos? They're scary as hell but they don't show real folk being killed or maimed. I'll never forget the train tracks one.

minionwithdms · 28/08/2015 17:19

I believe the video kickassangel is thinking of is called 'Think! - Camera Phone'. It's on YouTube - not graphic, but may give her a jolt. There are other similar videos that focus on awareness around the road for young people.

Savagebeauty · 28/08/2015 17:24

I would.
She is 11 and old enough to know how to cross roads safely.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/08/2015 17:30

I do understand why would do that. All very well people saying just restrict her crossing roads, but how on earth will she learn. Pius at 11 I assume she must be going into senior school, does she have any roads to cross getting to there.
I personally would show her the videos. Yes I know it won't be nice but if it makes her sit up and think and potentially saves her from serious injury if heaven forbid worse tgen. I'll be worth it.
However please as I am sure you are when/ if you do show your DD theses videos that not all road fatalities/ injuries are down to the pedestrian.

RattusRattus · 28/08/2015 17:33

I've just watched the Think - Camera Phone one. It's a good start.

It's my own fault - we live ina rural area where you drive to go anywhere so the opportunities to teach her weren't as prevalent as in a more urban setting. i've tried and tried though whenever the opportunity arises but it just isn't going in.

With the hand holding thing - she's a very young 11yr old (in actual fact she's not 11 yet but will be next week) so would very much like me to hold her hand! But I get the gist and will be very, very tough on her from now on.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 28/08/2015 17:34

scarlets yes I totally agree with you regards the creepy 70's ads!

Off on a tangent here : I still recall a big poster showing a girl who didn't 'clunk click with every trip' and her face is covered in scars as a result of going threw the windscreen. I'd sleepover at my Nan's and on our trip to buy sweets we had to go passed this poster to get to the shop, I'd close my eyes in case I caught it by accident,, it really upset me.

RattusRattus · 28/08/2015 17:34

She doesn't start secondary for at least another year (maybe 3 years), but despite that it is a life skill that she needs to have at the forefront of her mind whenever she is out and about.

I found a crash test dummy one too that is a good starting point.

OP posts:
steppemum · 28/08/2015 17:39

Find a newspaper story of a local incident too, make it local and personal. Sadly as it is it works.

wasonthelist · 28/08/2015 17:40

Some youtube vids (like the Russian dashcam ones) I think are worse than useless for safety education as all they show is spectacular accidents, sometimes with the person getting up and wandering off.

RattusRattus · 28/08/2015 17:43

Can anyone help me find that ad that used to be on about the difference of hitting a child at 40 miles and hour vs hitting a child at 30 miles an hour. You see her injuries in quite a graphic way and she ends up looking dead by a tree.

OP posts:
minionwithdms · 28/08/2015 17:49

It's called 'Think! - It's 30 for a reason' OP.

I may be slightly obsessed by creepy PSAs Blush

HarrietVane99 · 28/08/2015 17:53

This one?
m.youtube.com/watch?v=HeUX6LABCEA

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 28/08/2015 17:55
?

You are right to be concerned she's in one of the biggest risk groups for pedestrian road accidents.

RattusRattus · 28/08/2015 18:03

That's the one. Thanks.

OP posts:
GlitzAndGigglesx · 28/08/2015 18:20

Around London there used to be big pictures of young people lying in the road at bus stops. Tbh a YouTube clip would haunt me and I'm 23. I think an 11yo would find it really distressing

thecatfromjapan · 28/08/2015 18:22

In short - YABU. It would be beyond weird.

thecatfromjapan · 28/08/2015 18:25

Even the crash test dummies ones are a bit weird. And the 20 and 30 ones are a bit harsh for a pre-secondary school child. The 20/30 films show grey, dead-looking children. They gave me the total creeps seeing them as an adult.

Do road-crossing with her to the point of tedium.

featherandblack · 28/08/2015 18:28

Yes, I think at that age this would be appropriate, provided that the clips aren't graphic. The DOE ads we sometimes get are horrific and unsuitable but something showing the brutal suddenness of it would be a good idea.

shovetheholly · 28/08/2015 18:29

Sorry, this is a bit of a tangent, but does anyone else remember watching videos at school that showed in horrific detail deaths on building sites, electricity substations etc? I remember one showed a boy being flattened by one of those huge roller trucks, and coming out a red smear on the pavement Confused - I'm pretty sure it was called 'Building Sites Bite'. We were shown them by the police, aged about 9-10, and they had a soundtrack of a heart beat which would get louder when a death was about to happen. I was SO scared. But they did work to keep me out of playing in those areas.

I can't be the only one who remembers this, right? RIGHT?

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