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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to constantly feel like I'm drowning at work?

33 replies

NotFitToWork · 27/08/2015 15:36

I just need to know it's not just me.

I have a week off this week, I'm away with DH and the DC's (only camping) and made the mistake of bringing my work phone with me. I've had phone calls, emails etc... from my boss every day (my own fault for telling her I was only going away in this country) about several issues plus catch ups when I'm back in the office.

All this makes me not want to take leave at all because I spend the whole time stressing about what I'm going back to (despite working late and over the weekend to get everything finished)

I worry that I'm the only one struggling and the only one who, every day, feels like they're totally crap at their job!

I'm not, right?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 27/08/2015 15:39

Turn the phone off! That is so unfair of your boss. It doesn't matter whether you're abroad, in the UK or staying at home, she doesn't have the right to contact you when you're on holiday.

This doesn't explain why you feel you're crap at your job, though - what makes you think that?

QuiteLikely5 · 27/08/2015 15:39

How about switching your phone off? Everything is still going to be there when you get back only you won't get stressed on your week off about it.

Original poster
NotFitToWork · 27/08/2015 15:45

I want to. I so want to, but I have a huge project to finish the week that I'm back and if I don't clear my emails daily, I'll go back to a backlog and spend the whole first day clearing that before getting onto my normal work.

I know I am someone that focuses on the negative when it comes to work and I don't have a great deal of belief in myself, sometimes I am fine but other times I just worry that I can't do it.

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 27/08/2015 15:46

Your boss is out of order, but it doesn't help if you make yourself available.
You don't have to look at the emails or take the calls.

BobbinThreadbare · 27/08/2015 16:07

It took me a good few years to learn this, but don't take work things on holiday!!!

I have had a huge chunk of summer off, and have done nothing really; I've checked a few emails but in order to delete the junk ones and leave unread anything useful, for my return. I've had to learn to pace myself too; I'll say yes to all sorts, pile it on and then panic and stress until I'm ill. No more!! I'm still doing more than other people but now I'm enjoying it.

If I were you, I'd spend the first day back clearing the backlog. Holidays don't come round often so don't waste them! Also, there's no point in relaxing etc on hols if you spend the time stressing about work.

writingsonthewall · 27/08/2015 19:20

I feel the same. It's not nice and is making me very anxious so empathy here

Want2bSupermum · 27/08/2015 19:26

Set up a rule that all his emails go to a folder you have just for him. Dont look at it until you get back. Everything gets sorted through. If asked by boss tell him you had terrible reception so didnt get all emails through until you were home.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 27/08/2015 19:28

Oh I'm the same. Checking emails on holiday or the day I'm back. But it took me 7 hours to read my emails on Saturday, and that's with an administrator having kindly removed the rubbish. From the moment I got back on Monday I have been working like a whirlwind for 11 hour days plus three hour commute so I can be home for DDs by 7. What would my week have been like if I hadn't read those emails first??? Can't stand it, DH says to slow down but it's not possible. He doesn't understand my job and actually makes time for a lunch hour in his job. Shock Not good for me or you OP.

whois · 27/08/2015 20:48

Sometimes it feels like it isn't worth taking holiday if you have to be in work till midnight the week before to get things closed out, and have a nightmare week when you get back to catch up :-(

EBearhug · 27/08/2015 20:58

I turn my phone off when I'm on leave (and half the time, I've been away to places with no mobile signal.) But if I'm going away for more than a week, I do prepare handover - so on-going projects get an alternative contact, and that contact will have had a handover to know what current work is expected to happen, any on-going issues and so on. Things usually go fairly smoothly, because people know I'm going to be away, they know when I'll be back, and they know who to contact in the meantime - and that person will have some idea of what's going on. It does take a bit more work up front, but it makes it easier for the return - and yes, there are still mails to catch up on, but I really can just take a day to focus on mail and getting up to date with statuses.

blueshoes · 27/08/2015 21:50

It does not sound like the best time to take a holiday if you are so close to a big deadline on a project. I guess that is the trade-off.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 27/08/2015 22:06

I agree, almost not worth going on holiday because of pre and post holiday work stress. A sad way to live though.

littleducks · 27/08/2015 22:26

I once received an email autoreply that stated "I am on annual leave until X, upon my return all emails will be deleted. Please resend after X if my input is still required"

I was ????. But quite useful really made you think about if you would need to resend or fall with it another way.

blueshoes · 27/08/2015 22:54

Littleducks, that is an outrageous out-of-office message. I don't think it will fly where I work and the person will be marked down immediately Shock

Ubik1 · 27/08/2015 23:00

I had s colleague who would just send himself a massive file which would shut down his inbox - then go on holiday.

Grin

You aren't the only one op.

EBearhug · 27/08/2015 23:07

There was a thread recently about OOO messages like that - quite a few people said that sort of message wouldn't be acceptable in their work place. I've also heard of people declaring "email bankruptcy", but I suspect in most cases this is really called "resigning".

EngTech · 27/08/2015 23:18

You have to decide what is priority - E-mails / work or your health.

Once you have had a shot across the bow from your doctor about work related stress due to work overload it does focus the mind on what is REALLY important

I raised to my Line Manager about e-mail overload, his solution ?

Sent me on a Time Management course !!!!!!!!

Have an interview for another job soon :)

Sazzle41 · 28/08/2015 00:06

Turn off your phone. You are on holiday. Go in early on first day back to clear backlog. Why do you feel like you are drowning? Prioritise. If its urgent, colour code it red (right click on it in your inbox & select colour) if its not urgent colour it blue. If its more than a week off re deadling its green.

Block 2hrs a day out for phone on voicemail /email replies that are more than a oneliner pr require research. info gathering. 9-9.30 when it squiet/before everyone gets going for the day , keep your phone on voicemail and do the small one liner reply emails to get them out of the way and file instantly to get your inbox down (psychologically you will feel so much better that a) you got rid of small annoying stuff b) your inbox has gone dowm)

blueshoes · 28/08/2015 08:00

eBearhug, I am glad I am not alone in thinking that. It is career suicide to put that OOO where I work. If senior management receives such as OOO, they were be utterly shocked that they have to manage and time their email (and they have tons more emails) rather than their employee managing their workload.

Just do what everyone does on holiday. Say they check emails occasionally (or not at all if there is no signal), triage the urgent ones on holiday and deal with the backlog when they get back.

If they want to take a long holiday before a major deadline, that is not particularly clever from a work perspective but they will have to manage that even if it means having to pick up more emails than normal on holiday.

littleducks · 28/08/2015 20:53

It is pretty outrageous and I wondered if there was a back story when I received it. There was some mention that it might be to avoid any legal ramification of coming back and missing a detail in one of thousands of emails that later proved to be crucial. I did deal with the issue without their input. ....so it did work in my case!

TiredButFineODFOJ · 28/08/2015 21:11

My gead is slipping under too....
Have been advised to manage my time and train up the staff around me- ha! I've wasted precious hours on them before, they still can't locate a file in the alphabetic filing system with labels I created. Much better to interrupt me and ask me to point or even better get it for them. But then as they say about me to my face sometimes I'm really horrible

Skiptonlass · 28/08/2015 21:22

Oh you're not alone... My boss works in the USA and appears oblivious to the simple fact of time zones. Yes, o dear boss, the world is roughly spherical and thus has these funny things called time zones. You manage about four of them, and I'm expected to manage the other twenty because everything outside of the USA is some kind of amorphous blob (populated by work shy commies in her opinion.)

I've worked all over Xmas, holidays etc. it sucks.

How to manage it? Well, I try to strike a balance between genuinely going above and beyond what I'm supposed to do and doing plenty of out of hours stuff. That gives me some kind of standing to actually turn my phone off once in a while. I use the excuse that I'm off to some wild part of Sweden for the weekend and there's no cell phone reception. Since they think Europe is some kind of third world backwater they don't question this. I hope they never visit and realise we are one of the most connected countries in the world...

Agree about the ooo message - I usually use either " ooo/business travel back at x, will have intermittent access only, replies may be delayed . if your request is urgent please contact xxx' or 'ooo, will have no access to phone or email, please contact x. If it's regarding an urgent patient issue, please do...xxx'

I always leave full backup details. I always leave a full written handover for the project, with as much detail as I can, and full arse-covering 'x needs to be done by x' type instructions. I still come back to 500+ emails for each day I'm off. It's a modern plague.

FuckOffJeffrey · 28/08/2015 21:39

I always wonder what all these jobs are that require people to check thier email at home. Do you all have work laptops / mobile phones or do you access them from your home computer?

Everywhere I have worked has had strict policies regarding work emails and where we can and can't access them (at home is only to be accessed from company laptop and requires access to a secure server). Maybe it's just the line of work I am in but in my last workplace we were required to set up an out of office reply when on holiday for more than 2 days.

AyeAmarok · 28/08/2015 22:05

Oh Gosh OP, you sound exactly like me.

You're definitely not alone.

AyeAmarok · 28/08/2015 22:07

Jeffrey Yes it's work phones/blackberry and laptops. All through secure servers.

I thought most people would have work phones and /or laptops these days.