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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to constantly feel like I'm drowning at work?

33 replies

NotFitToWork · 27/08/2015 15:36

I just need to know it's not just me.

I have a week off this week, I'm away with DH and the DC's (only camping) and made the mistake of bringing my work phone with me. I've had phone calls, emails etc... from my boss every day (my own fault for telling her I was only going away in this country) about several issues plus catch ups when I'm back in the office.

All this makes me not want to take leave at all because I spend the whole time stressing about what I'm going back to (despite working late and over the weekend to get everything finished)

I worry that I'm the only one struggling and the only one who, every day, feels like they're totally crap at their job!

I'm not, right?

OP posts:

WhatifIdid · 28/08/2015 22:28

This type of situation is where you need to step back and review the dynamics of work, businesses and remember who it is that is benefiting from the output/profit that you generate in your job.

So, a long way of saying that you are a mug if you allow your employers to exploit you.

Join a Union. Switch your phone off. Think about what extra hours you are willing to do and when, and then walk away without feeling guilty.

If you are overworking that is basically a situation that exists to avoid your employers having to pay for more staff so that they can pocket the money that would have been spent. Fuck that.

EngTech · 29/08/2015 17:17

You have to basically decide two things.

What is more important?

Work or your health?

If due to work you suffer health issues e.g. Stress related heart attack or worse, what would your employer do?

Mine would pay me 6 months full pay while I was off sick, 6 months after that 50% of my pay, then go through the process of "managing me out"

18 months later it would be a case of you would not have your job, someone would have been recruited to replace you and you would be out of the company, albeit with a lump sum / pension possibly.

Your health is shot to bits and you are unable to get another job due to health issues but at least you could look back and say the company you worked appreciated you destroying your health to be on call 24/7

Far fetched and could not happen?

The shot across the bows I had from my Doctor was something along the lines of "What part of death do we not understand through overwork /stress?"

I listened, got made redundant 6 weeks later, doing back flips out the door but it was the wake up call I needed.

I now do my contracted hours - Tad selfish I totally agree but I put my health first - Works for me :)

Pippidoeswhatshewants · 29/08/2015 17:37

Don't take your phone on holiday.
Set ooo for the day after you return, so you have a quiet day to catch up.
Look for a new job.

Sandbrook · 29/08/2015 19:16

Best advice given to me on promotion which has changed the way I work is...

On return to office after holidays, delete all emails! Sounds ridiculous but if its really important they will email you immediately on your return or call you.
Secondly, you're on holidays with your family, respect that.
Your headstone will not read "Here lies Notfitforwork, beloved work colleague and manager of XXX"

Dutch1e · 30/08/2015 09:05

From another angle, it's a sign of a poorly-run business that you can't be away for a week without being phoned. No-one should be indispensable to the point that it's impossible to cover their duties for for such a short time.

dodobookends · 30/08/2015 11:36

As far as I'm concerned, holiday is holiday and if you are working at all (or worrying about a huge backlog developing) while away from work, then it isn't a proper holiday is it? Your boss should stop bothering you and let you have a proper break.

MagicalHamSandwich · 30/08/2015 11:58

I'm definitely an answer phone and check mail on holiday type. Part of the reason is actual need in that I am the only senior in my current team. The other part of the reason is that I'm not the type of personality who really switches off.

That having been said I have had to learn to take time for myself and to stop constantly fretting and worrying. Taking an hour a day to practice yoga has been a lifesaver for me and has really helped me find a more relaxed attitude in general. It doesn't have to be yoga, of course. I think any activity that encourages you to actively let go of the other stuff in your life temporarily would work.

I find I'm a better employee and a better manager after learning to sometimes be neither for a short while. Takes practice, though. I found it really tough to learn.

PoundingTheStreets · 30/08/2015 13:17

You are entitled to time off work without having to deal with this. It is up to your line managers to either ensure someone is able to deal with your workload while you are off, or to manage projects so that deadlines and annual leave don't conflict.

I used to take work away with me and everything felt so important at the time. Looking back on it, there was nothing that couldn't have been put off for 10 days or dealt with in another way, but as long as you make yourself available to deal with things, people won't look for alternatives.

These days I can't take work home because of the nature of what I do. It's brilliant! I set OOO replies to say:
I am out of the office until XXX date and will not be able to deal with anything until my return. Please contact XXXX (and give contact details) with anything urgent or email me again after xxxx date.

Everything that I deal with is available to other colleagues through our workplace intranet, so as long as I keep this fully updated, anyone can pick up my work in my absence should it be necessary.

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