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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let 4 week old sleep on stomach while I lie alongside?

48 replies

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 20:34

I have literally had one 2.5 hour stretch of sleep plus a few hours, maybe three total in last 36 hours. Ds2 is suffering desperately at night with wind and gas. I have given up chocolate, am drinking fennel tea, winding him and keeping him upright for a half hour after each feed and still he snorts and writhes once put down in his elevated cot. I noticed when he lies horizontal and tummy down he seems more comfortable and releases some gas. I know it's a big no no but aibu to do it with sensor monitor on while sitting here beside him where I can hear him breathing? Don't plan on it tonight but thought might relieve some of it for him. Such a killer that it seems to accumulate over the day.

OP posts:

Iggly · 26/08/2015 20:36

I had DD on her side next to me from birth. She was my second.

I would rule out tongue tie though....

Original poster

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 20:42

Yes tt ruled out. Funny, he ended up feeding from the side and fell asleep in the crook of my arm in the end last night/this morning but I am nervous about doing that. Maybe you meant in a cot though? I have put him on side in cot a few times but it's not completely successful, maybe I need a sleep positioner..

OP posts:

VeryPunny · 26/08/2015 20:44

DS was on his tummy from a very young age. He slept miles better. I was with him for all sleeps (at that age we coslept and he was slung for naps), he was breast fed and he had a dummy, all of which mitigate against SIDS. He was my second, I was too paranoid to do it with my first, butvin hindsight DD would probably have slept better on her front.

That said, it's a decision you have to make yourself.

BlinkAndMiss · 26/08/2015 20:46

Obviously it's not recommended but lots of things aren't. Check to see whether he is able to move his head once he's on his tummy (from looking one way to the other) and if so I think the risk is minimal. If not then I probably wouldn't but you'll be able to judge if you think it's safe.

You have my sympathy, no sleep and wind is awful. Try gripe water half way through a feed. It works almost immediately and after a day or 2 of frequent use there is a huge difference.

Discopanda · 26/08/2015 20:52

Proper gripe water is hard to come by but I found with DD1 that infacol was a lifesaver. DD2 hasn't had any wind troubles but when she was newborn she would sleep on my chest, so my arms were round her. Providing you haven't had alcohol or any kind of medication that causes drowsiness, mothers are actually acutely aware of where their children are, even when they're asleep.

villainousbroodmare · 26/08/2015 20:53

Awww, Mikado, and a chocolate Kimberley for ya!
I wonder why he is so gassy? I have a 5w/o DS who has been tortured with gas due to my overabundant milk supply and excessively frequent feeding. The paediatrician recommended 5-6 single-breast feeds a day with cool boiled water in between and a soother. Miraculous transformation in half a day. She said that the need to actively wind a baby is a myth and she differentiated very sensibly between swallowed air which is burped up with ease in all cases and causes little or no discomfort, and intestinal gas caused by inappropriate fermentation, which causes bloating, intense intermittent pain and can only be farted out.
Of course there are lots of possibilities but that's what seems to be happening with us.
Is he fighty when he feeds?
What are his nappies like?

Original poster

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 20:54

Thanks for replies. I am definitely not comfortable with doing it while I sleep-I am literally hanging into the moses basket here. I think he could change to the other side-he does on my chest-but will wait till he rolls himself to do it overnight. I am wondering if gripe water will effect the 'virgin gut'? I am also wondering about possible oversupply. . Wouldn't it be great if they could just tell us?! It's probably just his immature system though, DS1 was similar tho even poos are hard work with this boy!

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TheEagle · 26/08/2015 20:54

I found fennel tea ramped up my supply and gave DS1 really bad wind. I was drinking buckets of it and the day I stopped his wind was better!

Can you pass him to DP when you've fed him so he could sleep on his chest for a bit? That settled DS1 for a while as well.

Good luck hope you get some rest

TheEagle · 26/08/2015 20:57

As far as I know medicines don't affect the virgin gut

Gripe water made my DS1 vomit.

After doing several million different things - cutting out dairy, Infacol, Colief, massage etc the only thing that helped was time!

Beth2511 · 26/08/2015 20:58

Dd is 9 months. I genuinely dont think she has slept moee than an hour on her back since she was 6 weeks. When i finally braved front at 3 months she has slept through ever since. To me it was worth the miniscule risk t9 have a happy baby!

CrohnicallyAspie · 26/08/2015 20:58

Who checked for tongue tie? My daughter was declared fine by various midwives, GPs, HVs, breast feeding support workers... it wasn't until I got a referral to an infant feeding specialist at hospital for something else, the consultant and nurse looked inside her mouth and declared she had a moderate tongue tie!

If you (or anyone else) want some tips on how you can spot it yourself, feel free to PM me.

As for the original question, I tried bed sharing with my DD and it made a huge difference to her sleep, she naturally rolled onto her stomach and I would roll her back but soon gave up. As I was sleeping right next to her I trusted that I would wake if anything happened, besides being close to their mother is supposed to help babies regulate their breathing or something. As you have a monitor I'd let him sleep on his tummy if he seems to prefer it.

CrohnicallyAspie · 26/08/2015 21:00

What makes you think you have oversupply?

Original poster

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 21:02

X post with you villainousbroodmare,wwould love some chocolate kimberleys but I am abstaining in the name of wind avoidance! ! Yes he can be fighty and has projectile vomited once ir twice. I was holding off on soother as advised with bf to get it established. . I thought they just weren't able to deal with regular wind so easily yet? He does burp himself at times and I just sit him poker straight to wind rather than banging his back or whatever. How much water do you give? Again thought this was a no-no with bf babies? It's so hard. Did she explain the fermented gas (how lovely!) at all? Or is it simply your oversupply? And how can I know for sure if it is oversupply? He's certainly ticking a lot of the boxes for it tho nappies are yellow mustard. He is feeding very frequently too. Oh, and he's just turned his head to the other side.

OP posts:

Hypotenuse · 26/08/2015 21:03

Have you considered co-sleeping and lying tummy to tummy so she's on her side? She'll naturally attune to your breathing and body temperature, making her much safer from SIDS.
No blankets or pillows near her though, dress yourself warmly on your upper body so you don't need a blanket.

Hypotenuse · 26/08/2015 21:04

I would avoid water (and medicine) if possible, neither are recommended for breastfed babies. I'm am surprised at the doctor above who said water was a good idea.

Hypotenuse · 26/08/2015 21:06

Sorry *his, he, he's

Mines a girl, and I have baby brain. She had awful wind for a while when my supply was settling down, she's been fine since about 3 months. Cycling her legs always used to make her fart like a trooper.

Original poster

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 21:07

Midwives and lactation consultant said no to tt..

Yes just thinking that about fennel tea that it could be doing more harm than good .

Re over supply he is frantic at times during feed-but this could be need to switch sides?-does the whole pullingon nipple and red faced crying and the two vomits were immense. He does seem to choke sometimes during feeds. Funny enough the night feeds are the calmer, sleepier ones and he falls asleep and stays upright on my chest..it's the put down that ruins it all.

OP posts:

HazleNutt · 26/08/2015 21:09

this article agrees www.heracliteanriver.com/?p=97

NannyOggsHedgehogs · 26/08/2015 21:09

Ds woke instantly on being put down on his back. He spent his first 4 weeks on one of use, on his front but with that parent awake. Then dh got ill and I had to cope on my own for a bit.

Put ds on his front, he slept 7 hours straight, in his own bed.

HV reckoned it was fine, just be aware that babies run hotter on their fronts so don't over dress/cover them. They can turn their heads even if they can't roll. Plus the usual about new mattress, no smoking etc.

At rising 3 he still sleeps on his tummy arse in the sky

Original poster

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 21:11

Thanks hypotenuse, yes I feel it's probably a time thing...hope so. He really relaxes after cycling the legs alright but still the same result once down-it is generally after the last night feed that hhe'sreally effected. Tummy to tummy is how we ended uo at 5.30am aftrr two hours awake, asleep on inside of my elbow outside bkankets...

OP posts:

Original poster

mikado1 · 26/08/2015 21:12

New mattress nannyoggshedgehog?

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Flingmoo · 26/08/2015 21:22

Mine slept on his tummy from around that age. Breastfed, dummy, room not too hot, in own cot, no blankets or toys in cot, not overdressed, DH and I not smoking or drinking, and he had strong head control from day 1 to turn his head if he couldn't breathe clearly. So basically front sleeping was his only 'risk factor' for SIDS. It was a risk I was willing to take, as I felt that it would be even more unhealthy for him if he didn't sleep enough, and if DH and I didn't sleep enough we would be more likely to have an accident or just generally not be the best parents we could be.

CrohnicallyAspie · 26/08/2015 21:25

I had massive oversupply/over active letdown, signs were- almost constant leaking and if Dd cried I could flood through 3 or 4 breast pads at a time. Breasts constantly full and hard, even after a feed. If DD pulled off my milk would shoot several feet through the air. If I expressed I could get ounces and ounces. Choking and milk leaking out of the sides (though that was exacerbated by her tongue tie), she had constant wind and green poo.

Having said that, at 4 weeks you don't want to do much about possible oversupply because your milk hasn't regulated yet (adjusted to his needs, you're still making lots of milk just in case) and reducing supply now can mean under supply later. You can try feeding with him on top of you so your letdown doesn't have as much force behind, pull him off when you feel letdown and reattach when flow slows (or trigger letdown first before feeding him). You could also try just feeding from one side at each feed, as the more often you feed the more milk you will make.

Disclaimer: I am not an expert, but I spent many hours researching this stuff when DD was a newborn- don't think I had discovered Mn then, and I am autistic and 'how to get DD to actually feed properly' became my special interest for a while!

Loki17 · 26/08/2015 21:27

Gave you tried putting him on his side with a rolled up blanket behind his back to support? My dd napped like this or on my chest on her tummy and slept much longer than on her back. I'd never sleep a baby on their tummy (v sad family related reasons) but on the side whilst I was awake was less scary.

zoobaby · 26/08/2015 21:27

Very simplistic thing to try... is his nappy too tight around the waist? We had a miraculous discovery with DS one night when it became apparent that his nappy was causing discomfort and stopping the wind coming out. Worth a try?

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