Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DD(13) go to a horse show again for the whole day?

65 replies

androbbob · 25/08/2015 22:01

Dd is mad about horses. We let her go to a show 1.5 hrs away from home with her friends (13 & 14) as one of the parents was working nearby. They were there alone for 12 hours (regular text contact) and got home alot later than I had anticipated, but I realise I had little control over this as other parent was driver / in charge. He was not on site with them any of the time. They knew a couple of the riders and spent time with them and a couple of these girls were over 18 but I dont known them at all.

She has asked to go again tomorrow with same arrangement and I have said no as I explained why I was uncomfortable with the idea following monday. Now I am the world's worst parent. Both my DH and I are in work tomorrow whereas on Monday he was off and could have gone to their rescue if incident had occurred whereas if in work this is not so possible.

loojing for others viewpoint on this. Thanks

OP posts:
Chipshopninja · 26/08/2015 23:09

Not read the whole thread yet but wanted to comment

I got my own horse when I was 12. I would leave the house at 6.30 and return home at 5pm

There were no mobile phones

They were amazing times.
Please don't deprive your daughter of the same enjoyment from horses

Pixel · 26/08/2015 23:10

I'd be worried they'd get bored and find something more interesting to do.

More interesting??? Shock

You don't know many horse-mad teenagers then Grin. am nearly 50 and still haven't found anything more interesting, sorry dh

Chipshopninja · 26/08/2015 23:13

Oh good OP I'm glad she will be going to the next one

ExitPursuedByABear · 27/08/2015 10:53

I was once accused of having a Marie Antoinette moment on here when I asked what do people who don't have dogs and horses do all day.

FuckOffJeffrey · 27/08/2015 11:06

OP honestly it's one of the best environments for a young teenager. She will spend the day watching the horses, wandering around the stalls selling horse equipment, more horse watching, talking to other horse people, more horse watching, maybe grab a burger or chips from a burger van, more horse watching.

The older teens at the show will not be drinking or anything like that if they are competing. I think it's a good idea for you to go along to the next one and see what actually goes on as it will put your mind at ease.

Oh and another added benefit is that there will be a distinct lack of teenage boys at this sort of event. A few perhaps but it does tend to be quite a female dominated environment.

goodasitgets · 27/08/2015 12:03

Exit GrinGrinGrin
On the downside all my money goes on "things the horse must have"

Poledra · 27/08/2015 12:03

Can I derail here slightly? I have 2 DDs who ride (I do have a third DD, but she dances instead!). I'd like to take them to some shows but, although I ride every week, I don't really know what goes on outside of my weekly lesson! I've looked at Burghley etc, so the really BIIIIG events but I wondered if we might be better going to some local shows to see what's going on. Can the horsey folks here advise? We're in the East of England.

Oh, DDs are 11 and 7, if that matters.

WombatStewForTea · 27/08/2015 12:10

Poledra - do you mean to just watch rather than compete? If so have a Google for your local riding club and go along although these are likely to start winding down for winter over the next month. Other generally larger shows will be on over winter, do you have a competition venue or yard that holds competitions near by?
I'm sure if you ask the riding school they'll be able to point you in the right direction.

Poledra · 27/08/2015 12:45

Oh, definitely just to watch, Wombat - we don't own any horses so I don't see competing on the horizon at the mo.
Thanks for the advice!

ChiefClerkDrumknott · 27/08/2015 14:15

OP I agree with everyone here; hanging around, dreaming of being offered a ride or of all the things she'll buy her horse when she gets one will keep her out of trouble more effectively than pretty much anything Grin Do yards still let teenagers help out in exchange for rides these days? I used to spend all weekend mucking out, leading, poo picking, tack cleaning and sweeping for the privilege of being allowed to exercise one of the full livery horses at my local school. I've heard that due to insurance this doesn't seem to happen so much now but sometimes you can pay a small fee to join a 'helper's club' or similar then are covered to do all the grunt work that teenage girls love to do.

Poledra Try Riding Diary for lists of local events in your area. I use it to find out about shows to take mine to. Also second looking on the net for local competition venues to see if they have anything on.

Plomino · 27/08/2015 16:30

Poldedra , where in the East ? There's loads of stuff going on weekly , if you want to pm me , I could have a look for you ?

Butkin · 28/08/2015 17:51

Poledra for the East definitely consult www.horsedates.co.uk which will show you all the events and includes schedules etc.

horse showing is a year round event but all the big shows tend to be in the Summer and particularly around the Children's holidays.

Of course there are other events like HOYS and Olympia which are family friendly for those going to watch.

You also need to find out if they are into showing or show jumping - usually at very different events.

You mention Burghley which is great, if very expensive, and is on next week with the cross country on the Saturday. Brilliant day out - get there early - with amazing shopping as well but not a show as such.

Ask your girls - they will know what they want to attending depending on their particular equestrian interests..

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 28/08/2015 18:32

I've never been to horse shows but have done similar with my own hobby, it sounds like a safe, wholesome way for teenagers to spend their time. Having allowed it previously and she kept to what was agreed except the time her lift home arrived which was out of her control, I think yabu to change your mind now, she's done nothing to suggest you shouldn't trust her

notquiteruralbliss · 28/08/2015 18:39

Polders, if you are anywhere near Arena UK take a look at their website. They have some week long SJ shows, with big classes to watch.

carabos · 28/08/2015 19:55

Grin at pixel - what could be more interesting? DH and I were at Aachen last week for the European dressage champs and we're off to Scotland week after next for the European eventing champs. We have no other interests, we've both been into horses since we were tots and DH does horses as a job, as well as being a BD judge. All that's happened as we've got older is that events we go to have got bigger and further afield Grin.

Let the poor girl go, she's addicted Wink.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page