To be a bit fed up that no one realises I'm pregnant?

[TheLightsWinning]

This is my first thread after lurking a while.

Just wondered if anyone else has experienced this? It's my first pregnancy and I'm very excited about it and love having a bump. Pre pregnancy I wasn't exactly a slim lady, but I've tried to eat healthily and have only gained about a stone, most of which is bump and amniotic fluid... (People who know me well say I look like I've lost weight from everywhere other than bump).

Now admittedly this is probably a very pathetic whinge, but even though I'm 35 weeks along, I keep having to point out I'm pregnant. For example at work was helping with interviews and fellow interviewer asked if I was a smoker, implying we could sneak out for a cig at some point. I explained I didn't smoke and pointed out I was pregnant anyway... This sort of thing happens loads, that's just a recent example.

To be clear, I don't expect to be treated like a special little snowflake or anything, but I feel like the reaction I get is "ohhhh! Pregnant! I thought you were just fat!". And I find it a bit upsetting.

AIBU? Or is it a hormonal blip? I fully expect to be told I'm being silly and over sensitive...

Oh lord Beth2511 thats awkward... I'd have been tempted to say "Just found her outside a shop", but then I always did have a dodgy sense of humour...

SniffsandSneezes at least you get offered! Lol, mostly people ignore me, and my DH gets all huffy on my behalf! I find it amazing how completely unaware of their surroundings tube passengers can be, but thats probably cosd I've only been in London for about a year and a half now.

MidniteScribbler I hear ya, different strokes for different folks I suppose! I know baby talk bores the arse of a lot of people. Maybe thats a nother thing that puts em off mentioning it to me!

UterusUterusGhali Love that username! Also I have to admit I'm frankly surprised more people didn't aske me before I embarked on trying to lose weight a few months before I got pregnant (was an attempt to increase my chances of getting knocked up). I have always had at least two spare tyres about my person...

Hairballs Thank you, and congratulations to you too! I hope you enjoy the rest of your pregnancy irritating questions aside. Its amazing how bumps differ, and I do wonder why some people think its funny to say to some women "but are you sure its not twins?"... Erm they have these things called ultrasound!

SickInBedOnTwoChairs Having 'mis-spoke' once, I would never refer to a pregnancy unless I could actually see a crowning head! good point! But maybe call an ambulance instead!

AuntieMag10 Haha, I actually think I've not done too badly given some of the other posts on here... I shall get over myself and calm down.

Spartans Sorry to hear about the PND, I hope all is well with you now...

Monkeysox Yeah I get that too. Explaining to people we had moved our wedding forward... And having to point at my bump.

Reubs15 I'm getting that message loud and clear and am resolved to stop being such a snowflake about it all!

BlueShoes, yep, I am realising fast I've been a bit oversensitive about the whole thing. I blame the hormones

Lightm fair dos and good luck with it!

People not commenting on your pregnancy. Yes it's pretty unusual if people know you're pregnant such as colleagues, but it could be down numerous reasons
Jealousy, but surley that wouldn't explain everyone
Simply not interested, and at the risk of being roasted on a pit fork. They don't have to be either
Strangers not noticing perhaps they do, again maybe they're not interested. Not every one is in awe of pregnant women.
Could be tgast they're not 100% sure. And scared of embarrassment. I had a friend ask a women. When us your baby due. She wasn't even pregnant. The women was fine about it through, but needless to say. She has never done that again

Some people are just too spaced out / wrapped up in their own issues to notice. When pregnant a few people at work (mostly older and male, but also students) were surprised when I said I would be on leave soon: "really why?" "I'm pregnant" and then "oh, I hadn't noticed" or "oh, I can see it now!". But then, I work with academics and students, who live in their own worlds. Many congratulations on your pregnancy by the way!

I think if you don't know someone well then commenting on their body is rude whether it's "are you pregnant" "have you lost weight" or anything else.
What exactly are you expecting people to say?
It doesn't mean many of them don't realise you are pregnant just that they feel your pregnancy is none of their business unless you make it clear you want to talk about it with them.
If people want to discuss their pregnancy/ anything else personal with me I'm happy to chat, if they don't I'll mind my own business.
I find the people who want to pat the bumps of random strangers the weird ones, not the ones who don't really care that much about strangers' bodies and fertility status.

I went on mat leve at 39 weeks. I was explaining to a client that I wouldn't be seeing them for a while and he asked why.
I pointed to my bump and he said " what?" I explained I was pg Md he said he hasn't noticed.
To be fair I wasn't huge but I was definitely pg!!!

Have you thought of getting a "baby on board" badge from tfl? They are small, and would work wherever you are in the country (not just London) as a signal for getting seats on buses, not being elbowed in the stomach, etc.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Obviously I've realised now that a lot of people are worried about putting their foot in it - certainly wouldn't expect everyone to be interested at all, Babies aren't everyones thing. Would just be nice not to have to explain why I can't drink/smoke/eat that cheese etc when its fairly obvious at 35 wks (am not carrying transverse and have a well defined bump) that I've got a bun in the oven...

Thanks OP I am fine now and have my 6 pack back so no more comments on out being pg.

I bet the man that asked me if I was of never does it again though. Think he was more horrified than me.

Thanks missmoon, yep, I realise that living in London, no one really notices things outside their own little world that much... Maybe its part of readjusting to living here... I am originally from Liverpool where everyone would come straight out with it and chat away, give me tips and unwanted advice

Hairballs are you me???

18 weeks with DS2 and am ENORMOUS. Was really worried recently as a colleague is only 2 weeks behind me and she has no bump. then I realised I was already fat (meh) and it was pregnancy 2. My body has jsut fgone, "Oh - this again. Right I know what to do." WHOOMPH. I look 6 months gone.

2Rebecca TBH, I'm not really expecting people to say anything, just more for them not to react with total amazement when I mention my pregnancy... I'm 35 weeks along and it is pretty obvious, not carryong transverse etc, and it def doesnt just look like a fat tummy - its a definite bump IYSWIM. However I have realised through other PPs that I'm probably overthinking it way too much and shouldn't let it get to me at all!

Hoppinggreen I bet that was awkward!!

ArcheryAnnie I already have one, but people mostly ignore it. The young lads in priority seats listening to music on their phones and playing about on their screens seem ezpecially good at it, although I've also been ignored by a full family of about twelve who all had their own seats including young kids - I'm probably going to get flamed for being an old fashioned type but at their age my mum would have ROASTED me for letting a preganant woman stand up on public transport! TBH, it wouldn't bother me that much if it wasn't for the feeling sick and risks if I fell over if the train lurched. And if someone gets on who needs the seat more than me I will usually offer tthem it anyway...

Spartans Glad to hear that - my mum had it very badly with my LSis, and its no fun. Six pack is fab!

Boosiehs and Hairballs I've heard that you get bigger faster with second and third pregnancies... for the reason Boosiehs says! Enjoy your bumps and congrats!

I think people are trained not to ask just in case. I have a coworker who is somewhat chubby and unfortunately carries a lot of weight around her belly, she honestly looks about 4 months pregnant. She has been asked about her "pregnancy" many times from strangers, clients etc.. I can't imagine how awful it is for her.

Honestly I'd be delighted if I was small throughout my pregnancy, your post-baby body will come back much easier!

Congratulations, Snowflake!

I'd point it out no problem

Rainbunny I can imagine that must be horrible for her actually, although I'm surprised it didn't happen to me pre pregnancy to be honest... I was no supermodel!

Thanks bearsrock