or does every mother feel like this?

[JustHavinABreak]

First let me say how much I adore my kids. That's why I ask this, in case I am not doing right by them. But does anyone else have days where they feel completely overwhelmed by motherhood, like they are completely crap at it??

Yes, me too. I feel guilty and worried most of the time. Starting to feel like I wrap DS in cotton wool too much but then feel like I'm not 'mother hen' enough.

Also, the responsibility is overwhelming. He counts on us for everything, literally everything!!!!

P.S. He is only 20 months BTW : )

Yep , crap at it here too .

And yet if you looked at me in the supermarket , you probably wouldn't know it. Clean tidy and well behaved DC's , discussing what we're going to have for dinner like some advert for bloody Waitrose, I can truly say hand on heart that not one of them has ever thrown a tantrum in the asles .

But if you'd seen me trying to get them out of their pyjamas to go shopping in the first place , them whining , me pleading , then yelling because one of them refuses to put anything other than wellies on their feet despite it being 75 degrees , you wouldn't think it was the same family. My neighbour said to me not that long ago that we're very quiet (apart from when I fell out of the back door over someone's wellies again , ejected a load of washing onto the exact spot the dog had had a pee on and used enough f words for the whole village to hear ) I can only think he needs his hearing tested
.

I think parenting is bloody hard work. Most of us I suspect are striving to be the best we can at it and the stakes are inordinately high so the pressure is great.
I can do a hundred good things for my children and still beat myself up over the days when they weren't fully occupied or, God forbid, the TV babysat for a while .
I think as mum's sometimes we need to accept that we are, in most cases anyway, the perfect parents for our children.

Yes. Rationally, I must do a fairly reasonable job. But in my heart, every time either of the kids has a tantrum or is badly behaved or won't eat or fails to learn to read or I have to turn the TV on in desperation, there's a voice in my head that screams 'this is all your fault because you're FAILING!'

I'm working very hard on ignoring that voice. Occasionally I succeed.

Frequently especially in the holidays.
I find it claustrophobic how much the need me, they are so needy sometimes and mine are 13 and 7!!

I dont feel like this often but the holidays this week have been tough due to some upheaval, this week is getting better and I'm enjoying them and not wanting to run away from them.

Thank God!!! In fairness today has been a dreadful day but I am so relieved it's not just me. I love them so so much. But on days like today I feel I'm making a mess of it.

Just checked on the two of them and they are cuddled up beside each other in bed - both smiling in their sleep!!!

Yup. Mine (3 and 5.5) are in a stage of boundary pushing, and they're driving me demented. The whining, dear goodness the whining. It's not helped by my being in slightly suboptimal health so my energy and patience levels are low. I cling to the mantra (first seen on Mumsnet) "everybody fed, nobody dead"!

Yes, me. I feel as if I've done more shouting / nagging than taking and laughing for the last couple of days. They go back to school and nursery next week and both are looking forward to it.

If I'm honest I think I'm better as a WOHM. I need the balance. I've been of work since early summer and am going back in a couple of weeks - we're all ready!

Yes, I'm sure most do!

the whining........makes me think why can't I start on the wine now.....then I realise it's 9.30am and I'm breastfeeding if I don't end up in tears it must be a good day.

Mine are nearly 20. I'm still making it up as I go along. They seem to be turning out OK though.

all the time. but hey i'm their mother and they are turning out ok so i must be doing something right. but there are days that i am utterly overwhelmed and cant cope but i do and tomorrow is another day.
don't beat yourself up and never compare yourself to anyone else. I'm sure your doing just fine x

Do you all have very young children?

I'm going to go against the grain and say that I really don't think like that, I'm doing my best, my children are happy, well behaved when they need to be, getting on well at school. They are fed and clothed, some days we go out and do stuff, some days we don't. some days I have to work and they fend for themselves.

That's just life, if you think you need to be "perfect" you're setting yourself up to fail. Enjoy your children and don''t beat yourselves up

Yes all the time.
Other people describe my baby as "cheerful" "active" and "nicely dressed" which probably means I'm doing a perfectly normal job. But I feel like one false move and she'll end up a story in Take A Break or a Daily Fail/Huff post (too hippy/too mainstream).

I believe the feelings you describe in your op sparked mumsnet in the first place!

Wow, excellent timing - I was just imagining my child-free relatives asking me tomorrow (we're going out in London) what it's like to have kids, and me saying 'Obviously I love my children, they are amazing little people but they can be right little gits'. And of course they do bring a lot of happiness. But sometimes they bring a lot more shit than joy.

It can be such hard bloody work, and I'm more than ready for school to start up again. After a day of rain we took the dog for a fairly short walk and it was hideous. I'm trying not to shout, kids and dog are in puddles, DD gets stung by nettles and it's all just so bloody tiring.

I wonder if I'm actually not cut out to be a parent sometimes. Surely it should be more enjoyable more often?

Ignore me, I sound very glum....just not having a good day, bloody August weather.

Life is pretty good, they are healthy and happy.

And annoying.

Terrible day here, clearing out some of the hundreds of books I've bought to tempt my children into reading. Taking them to the charity shop is me admitting that i have failed in a pretty important area!

We have all been there. Got more t-shirts for that than I care to count.

I remember feeling that way particularly when mine were very young. It has eased a lot now that they are older and near enough grown up (aged 20, 16 and 13 now).

There were never enough hours in the day for everything, and the house was a constant disaster zone.

I feel like I'm good at it, I have a 16 month old and we play, read, laugh so much, I am patient, teaching a few boundaries etc... He seems so happy. Then this morning I get a babycenter email and felt like I've let him down! They word emails as "Your 16 month old WILL be scribbling drawings, pointing out your facial features etc" Errr nope. I know, I know.. Comparison is the thief of joy.

I feel like I'm good at it, I have a 16 month old and we play, read, laugh so much, I am patient, teaching a few boundaries etc... He seems so happy. Then this morning I get a babycenter email and felt like I've let him down! They word emails as "Your 16 month old WILL be scribbling drawings, pointing out your facial features etc" Errr nope. I know, I know.. Comparison is the thief of joy. grin

Your post made me smile. Throw another kid into the mix, stir and wait 5 years.

Caring for a single child of only 16 months is easy.

I sat on the floor and sobbed today because DD(4) was having another almighty tantrum and I just felt like it was my fault. She's very defiant and difficult and I honestly do feel like I've failed her. Being a parent is so hard.

Yep, I had good days and times when I felt that beating my head against the nearest wall would be more soothing than dealing with yet another tantrum.

Even now that they're older, I still sometimes have days when I think I could have done and could do better.

Other times they show signs of being lovely proto-adults and I think, Didn't balls up too badly, then.