Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I just lost my shit

58 replies

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 14:32

Dd and ds have been pretty much driving me round the pissing bend this week.

It's only Tuesday and I want to smash my head against a brick wall cry already.

Just walked downstairs after being upstairs for 5 mins and they have both grabbed handfuls of cat litter and thrown it all around the kitchen and dining room! Why? Why?

So after the whinging, screaming, fighting, crying, whinging etc now this!

Ive just shouted really bloody loud and put them in their rooms, told them it's a sandwich for dinner and bed right after. I'm not reading a story, I'm not letting them see their grandparents (my parents come after work to see the kids everyday) and they are done for the night. 5pm bedtime and they can have their iPads in bed and that's that.

I've just had a break fag and now feel guilty :(

Aibu? 5pm bedtime? Sandwich for dinner? I feel mean.

OP posts:

magimedi · 25/08/2015 14:35

How old are they?

Probably better to put them to bed so you get a break rather than keep them up & you end up shouting even more.

MarchEliza · 25/08/2015 14:35

Poor you. It sounds very draining. I'd be tempted to relent on the dinner (they might sleep better on a full stomach) but withdraw the iPads. But then I've only got one and she's 6 months so what do I know.

I'm sure you'll do what's best.

Rosa · 25/08/2015 14:38

I would make them pick up every single bit of cat litter ( if its weed on stuff) with gloves.
in total silence - If they can't say anything nice then they are not to speak , whinge, utter a sound.

And I wouldn't let them have Ipads but I guess you are doing that for peace....

AlfAlf · 25/08/2015 14:39

How old are they?
I'd have flipped the lid and yelled a bit too, but think that's too many punishments for the crime.

Its the summer holidays, you've probably had a bit of an overdose of them. I get it.
I'd be more inclined to take the iPads away, but reinstate the stories and time with gps.

eosmum · 25/08/2015 14:40

Bed without Ipads!!!!! They can have some books, and they must clean up the cat litter.

Original poster

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 14:40

They are nearly 4 and 5

They know better, I'm usually a chilled woman but the ds have been really pushing me. Dd went into my office and tipped all my beads etc everywhere. Drawing on the cat with sharpie, putting on nighttime nappies and then pooing in them.

Dh is in hospital doing a sleep study until tomorrow night so I'm alone, which is fine but by god they are being crapbags.

The iPads are to give me a break march we don't have TV here so putting them in front of the iPad is like having a temp baby sitter while I have a break wine and a fag

OP posts:

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 25/08/2015 14:41

That's a horrible thing for them to have done but honestly, withdrawing story and allowing iPads in bed is a really poor punishment. Maybe it's just to get them out of your hair and not meant as a punishment but it's all out of whack.

AlfAlf · 25/08/2015 14:41

Can you pop out for a break when their grandparents come?

Lagoonablue · 25/08/2015 14:42

They are probably bored. I find if I engage mine in a game they are fine. It's exhausting though.

magimedi · 25/08/2015 14:43

I would not go back on any of it now.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt children to realise they can push their parents just too far.

But I would go in after a while & take the Ipads away & call it sleep time.

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

cluelessnchaos · 25/08/2015 14:44

Getting sent to bed with an ipad sounds like heaven right now. And sandwich for tea is often a treat for my lot. Not mean at all but maybe a bit hasty

Original poster

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 14:45

obsidian they can't read yet, and although they have hundreds of books they will whinge and moan bother me with them.

Usually I would sit and read to them for ages before bed, it's something dh and I do a lot because we are avid readers but I don't want to read to them, I don't want them to scream at me to read the book. It seems out of whack and I am out of whack.

I've had such a shit fucking time lately, I'm tired and I feel like my brain is melting.

My dad just said he will watch them while I have a break tonight, being in their rooms has made no difference, they are in with me know screaming at me because they want their sandwich dinner facepalm

OP posts:

Gatehouse77 · 25/08/2015 14:50

I agree with magimedi

Sometimes children have to understand that parents do not have endless patience and it does them no harm if it is occasional.
It's not easy, it doesn't feel right but it's also neither cruel nor likely to leave the traumatised.

I have, on occasion, left mine to cry themselves to sleep at night but it's been their behaviour that has caused that. And I'd rather do that than have me ranting and raving at them, or worse.

scarlets · 25/08/2015 14:50

I know how you feel. It is infuriating when things like that happen.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 25/08/2015 14:53

do what you need to do then. We also sometimes

goblinhat · 25/08/2015 14:57

Far too much punishment.

Keeping cool is one of the hardest things to do sometimes- but it's often the one that pays most dividends.

So for a few seconds of poor judgement and mischief your kids have.

Have their food rations cut.
Sent to their rooms.
Early bed.
No story
Been shouted at.
Prevented for seeing grandparents

A tad OTT. I'm afraid.

HexBramble · 25/08/2015 14:57

Tea and sympathy OP and a huge fucking glug of wine

Heyho111 · 25/08/2015 14:57

They are probably acting out as dads in hospital and that's weird. Kids express feelings in odd ways.
Try not to use bed as a punishment as that can cause other problems. If cat litter clean get them to clean it. And yes let parents round so you can have a cuppa in peace.

goblinhat · 25/08/2015 15:00

I also think bad behaviour needs to be dealt with swiftly and timely for such little ones. It could have all been forgotten by bedtime.

I don't punish though.

AdoraBell · 25/08/2015 15:07

Slight over reaction on the punishment front but nothing wrong with a sandwich for dinner if you are feeling demented a tad stressed.

As suggested, try and have a break yourself when your DPs arrive. Can you go out for some fresh air/sit in a cafe for an hour MNing while GPs keep DCs occupied?

girlywhirly · 25/08/2015 15:12

Perhaps their grandparents will tell them that what they have been doing was wrong and that they would have been cross too if that had happened at their house.

When DH comes back, he should talk very seriously to the DC and tell them that he knows what they have been doing, and if it happens any more they will be in big trouble. If he can make them understand that he supports you, and that they must do as you tell them, I think they might think twice.

Tomorrow, if you can weather permitting, get them out for some exercise, a good run around goes a long way towards venting all that energy and boredom which would have been getting into mischief at home. I think sometimes DC get a bit stir crazy with long days to fill and bad weather in the school holidays.

BlueBananas · 25/08/2015 15:22

Oh OP sounds like you need a bottle glass of wine
Sounds like they have been particularly shitty lately so I don't think anyone can blame you for losing it

If the bedroom punishment already hasn't worked I would set them both up seperately with a quiet activity each and ensure they do it in silence
I have 2 little rugs that I use for this and I'll sometimes set a timer or out some calming music on my phone for a bit, make a brew, close your eyes and just breathe

Also nothing wrong with a sandwich for dinner, that's what my kids are having tonight just because I cba cooking

PeanutsOnTheFloor · 25/08/2015 15:38

OP, it's fine. I've done the same today (lost my shit) - they needed to know there were boundaries and that they had crossed them. Now they do, all is good again and they know if they push me too far again then nice things will be banned again.

Fugghetaboutit · 25/08/2015 15:52

Oh god, my ds has done this with the cat litter twice once he threw it around, the other he filled up the toilet with it and emptied the rest all over the floor :(

Since they're only little I wouldn't keep the punishment up, to them they were having a great old time making mess. Take care and rest later, kids are testing

DisappointedOne · 25/08/2015 15:57

FFS. What are you trying to teach them?!

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread