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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I just lost my shit

58 replies

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 14:32

Dd and ds have been pretty much driving me round the pissing bend this week.

It's only Tuesday and I want to smash my head against a brick wall cry already.

Just walked downstairs after being upstairs for 5 mins and they have both grabbed handfuls of cat litter and thrown it all around the kitchen and dining room! Why? Why?

So after the whinging, screaming, fighting, crying, whinging etc now this!

Ive just shouted really bloody loud and put them in their rooms, told them it's a sandwich for dinner and bed right after. I'm not reading a story, I'm not letting them see their grandparents (my parents come after work to see the kids everyday) and they are done for the night. 5pm bedtime and they can have their iPads in bed and that's that.

I've just had a break fag and now feel guilty :(

Aibu? 5pm bedtime? Sandwich for dinner? I feel mean.

OP posts:

StrangeLookingParasite · 25/08/2015 16:01

FFS. What are you trying to teach them?!

That parents can be pushed too far?
Doesn't sound earth-shattering to me.

duckydinosaur · 25/08/2015 16:04

They are only 4 and 5!?! Wow! They are only so tiny. What they did was wrong, but screaming and shouting like a banish isn't going to help. You complain you have had enough of their shouting and arguing but maybe they are just modeling behaviour they have learnt from you? I have 2 kids and it is hard work sometimes but you decided to have them so time to pull yourself together. Have you considered anger management classes or parenting classes? As seriously this is not how most of us would treat 4 and 5 year olds. I thought you was going to say they were 10 and 12!!!

Also ipads in bed? Really? What is wrong with books?

Justbatteringon · 25/08/2015 16:11

What little shits monkeys op I hope now that they've decided to leave their rooms you have them cleaning the mess they made and if not that some other mess that needs sorted.
You're not alone ds has tried my patience many times today and has been known to throw things too.
Let the gp's come for the night have a break sounds like you need it.

DisappointedOne · 25/08/2015 16:15

How are these small children supposed to know the litter tray isn't for playing with anyway? It's learned knowledge. DD is almost 4 and I can guarantee that left with a tub of glitter/bag of flour/box of sand she'd be flinging it and having great fun.

Perhaps you should rehome the kids cat?

Chelsielouise · 25/08/2015 16:54

They still are young especially to be screamed at a bit frightening for them.
That being said everyone has a breaking point and we as humans can go a bit far under stress I hope things calm down a bit for you xx

FrenchJunebug · 25/08/2015 17:00

isn't it better at such an age to be disciplined immediately rather that have delayed discipline? Am genuinely asking as I tend to tell and punish my 4 year old here and then (time out usually works) rather than later when he would have forgotten what he is being punished for.

FantasticButtocks · 25/08/2015 17:14

Gosh, they are 4 and 5 and can't read but can use an iPad?

Sorry, that's very judgemental of me OP, but it all seems a funny way round. I wouldn't have thought an evening of ipad use feels like a punishment, more of a treat!

Anyway, it's done now. Not the end of the world... Enjoy your peace and quiet and wine and fags this evening. Tomorrow is another day.

DoreenLethal · 25/08/2015 17:34

5pm bedtime and they can have their iPads in bed and that's that

Result! What a treat!

goblinhat · 25/08/2015 17:35

5pm bedtime and they can have their iPads in bed and that's that

I agree- sounds like my idea of heaven!!

Original poster

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 17:52

Ok pull down the pants and unclutch the pearls.

Dc didn't go to bed and are still up, we all said sorry, had a cuddle, had a pizza and apple slices dinner and we're having a story.

I rarely shout, I think screamed is a bit ott chelsea I wouldn't scream at them.

And yes my kids are tech savvy, one in reception and one in preschool is hardly reading age. They can use tech though but tech is the future IMO.

Now dc are going to bed in 30 mins and I will be watching Netflix with a massive tub of ice cream.

Kids eh

OP posts:

purplepandas · 25/08/2015 17:56

Enjoy your ice cream and Neflix!

Tomorrow is another day. It's bloody hard this parenting lark and some days they really push you past those boundaries. I hid in the bathroom yesterday as I could no longer deal with DD3's diva screaming behaviour. Not my proudest moment but sometimes they just go too far and we are only human.

Original poster

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 17:58

purple thank you, I felt harsh and mean and I could only rectify it so I did.

I acted in haste nothing about teaching them, I just "lost my shit"

OP posts:

Fugghetaboutit · 25/08/2015 17:59

Sounds fab! You enjoy. Everyone shouts or loses it now and then with children. They're put here to test us

purplepandas · 25/08/2015 18:01

Exactly, you rectified it. I think that's the important thing. We are all human and we are doing our best. We don't claim to be perfect, I am far from it! Fugget is right, they are indeed put here to test us!

Chelsielouise · 25/08/2015 18:41

My mistake I apologise xx

BitOfFun · 25/08/2015 18:52

I think we could all do with relaxing to some classical music, - I have a feeling you will relate to it .

Unhappyuser · 25/08/2015 18:58

4 and 5 and they not only have iPads but you'll let them keep them after bad behaviour. I wonder where the problem lies, anyone?

Find them stuff to do

Original poster

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 19:03

unhappy it's true, I make them sit in front of their iPads all the time and then shout etc.

I think after reflection that 15 mins in their rooms after what happened is adequate for 4 and 5 and yes we all have an iPad, we don't have a TV and we all enjoy different programmes on Netflix. Also their own iPads have their puzzles, games etc individually.

I personally don't think tech for children is a bad thing. It's not like they are on them all day and we get up to a lot thank you. Read my other posts you'll see I'm not sat on my fat arse all day letting their brains rot

bitoffun

OP posts:

Bulbasaur · 25/08/2015 19:17

I'm in the process of teaching my 17 month old that she needs to clean up the messes she makes. She still makes them, but at least certain things are left alone more often than not just kidding, she finds different things to get into.

Problem is already solved for tonight, but maybe in the future a general rule in your house should be any mess they make they have to clean. At 4 and 5, they can use a broom and vacuum (even if you have to go over it once they're done). Once it's expected they'll at least stop associating mess with fun no they won't and learn to take responsibility for their actions. It's a good ground work to establish for when they're older though and their brains can comprehend foresight and consequences.

Enjoy your wine and netflix.

DoJo · 25/08/2015 19:37

How are these small children supposed to know the litter tray isn't for playing with anyway? It's learned knowledge.

I would be absolutely astonished if this is the first time the OP has mentioned it to them! They are 4 and 5, so could potentially have been being told not to play with cat litter for 4 and 5 years respectively. I expect my 3 year old not to play with something if he has been told not to more than a couple of times, so at their age, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect this 'learned knowledge' to have been acquired by now.

Foffyouwanker · 25/08/2015 19:55

iPads in bed? Not a bloody chance!

ThisFenceIsComfy · 25/08/2015 20:06

Ah we all have shit days.

All these people open-mouthed about the ipads are forgetting you don't have a TV. I also fully agree that kids now should know how to use a computer as computers are in most schools.

Don't worry about not following through. You had a cuddle and gave them dinner. They are old enough for you to all have a chat about how you can all work together and have fun whilst thinking of each other.

Tomorrow's another day

Wine and ice-cream tonight

Original poster

Esmeismyhero · 25/08/2015 20:22

Ds has only just gone to sleep listening to grimms fairy tales read by moi.

I've promised tomorrow we will make jelly worms thanks Pinterest and go to the park if it isn't throwing it down :/

The litter has been explained ALOT and telling them to not pick up the cat, they are intelligent children. They know.

OP posts:

SanityClause · 25/08/2015 20:25

You've taught them lots of good stuff.

You've taught them that parents are human, too, and can only be pushed so far.

You've taught them that sometimes people get it wrong, and when they do, the right thing to do, is apologise, and try to make things right.

Sometimes it's "everyone fed, nobody dead".

Enjoy your icecream!

ladygracie · 25/08/2015 20:35

Wow, what a lot of judging. Ridiculous. And unpleasant. Glad you feel happier and as sanity said - all fed, none dead is enough. Enjoy Netflix.

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