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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask my parents to look after my DC for a week?

47 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 24/08/2015 00:20

My DH and I are coming up to our 10 year wedding anniversary, and got married abroad. I'd like to surprise him and go back to the place we were married but after googling it, it seems it's now an adults only resort Sad (it wasn't when we were married and there were young children in our group.)

I know DH would love it, and we've had a hard couple of years for various reasons... I want to ask my parents the possibility of looking after my DC (4 & 2, but will be 6 & 3 when I want to go) but flipping between it being the most unreasonable request ever, and thinking it will be fine!

We're very close to my parents, live round the corner, holiday usually once a year as a group (with my siblings and DC too), my DM is retired (but just early 50's) and by that time DD1 will be at school all day and DD2 at preschool.

What do you think? It's quite long haul so don't think I could feasibly go for less than 5 days... Is it really rude to ask?

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 24/08/2015 00:23

No it isn't rude to ask, I'm a Nan to a baby and have had her for two days, this will be extended as she gets older.

I regularly spent weeks with my Nan.

You may get different responses, MN can be odd about family babysitting.

missnevermind · 24/08/2015 00:27

It sounds reasonable. There is no harm in asking. If you don't ask you don't get Grin
It's not as though it's something you ask for all the time it is a special occasion

TheHouseOnTheLane · 24/08/2015 00:29

I think it's ok to ask....your parents aren't "old" are they!

trixymalixy · 24/08/2015 00:29

Not rude to ask at all.

TheRealAmyLee · 24/08/2015 00:31

If they can cope and enjoy having dc why not? Its not like its every year.

Iflyaway · 24/08/2015 00:34

Just ask them.

But sounds like it's 2 years down the road. Anything could happen by then.

HerRoyalNotness · 24/08/2015 00:36

Ask away!

I wanted to do similar for our 10th, but life got in the way. It's a lovely idea.

Original poster
MaryPoppinsPenguins · 24/08/2015 00:53

It's not two years, it's a year and a bit...

I will ask, thanks everyone Grin

OP posts:
Fatmomma99 · 24/08/2015 00:58

But if they say 'yes', make sure you show proper appreciation - a REALLY good present after the hol + a bunch of flowers (delivered) so they know you really mean your thanks!

TheExMotherInLaw · 24/08/2015 01:52

Do ask!
My sis and her dh are in their late 60's and recently had twin 3 year old GKs for 4 days. They were exhausted, but happy to be able to help.
but, as Fatmomma99 says - show the appreciation!

mimishimmi · 24/08/2015 02:42

YANBU. It's only a week and I'm sure they'd be delighted to help you out for the reason you've given.

Pengweng · 24/08/2015 07:20

I would definitely ask my mum or my PIL to mind my girls for a week if we had something special coming up (been together 10 years so maybe for our 10th wedding anniversary lol).

The only thing i would suggest is that maybe they watch them at your house since you said they only lived round the corner. It would mean the kids had all their own stuff and would maybe be more comfortable. Or maybe a long weekend at Grandparents and then back to yours for the last few days before you come home so they can settle back in.

There is absolutely no harm in asking. All they can do is say no and then you have time to come up with a new plan.

Chottie · 24/08/2015 07:22

I'm a GM and would love, love, love to be asked to look after my DGS for a week. YANBU.

Congratulations on your 10th wedding anniversary too Flowers

BeautifulBatman · 24/08/2015 07:25

Yanbu. Go for it!

Sansoora · 24/08/2015 07:33

I have 5 grandchildren and they stay regularly for weekend sleepovers as well when their parents are away on a holiday. I also travel with the two eldest who are 10 and 8 for a couple of weeks every year. I love it and would never consider it rude if my children asked. In fact I'd consider it very strange if they just didn't know the kids can come anytime. The children's other grandparents are dead so their dads eldest sister is their stand in granny from his side and she also has the children. She has 10 herself and they love going to stay with their 'gang cousins'.

As for showing thanks for having the children? Im just happy with seeing my kids come back all loved up with their partner and when we're having a cuddle hearing them say - we had a great time mum.

Floisme · 24/08/2015 07:34

How exciting - not your holiday, I mean having small grandchildren for a week. I hope I will get asked this one day Smile Do it.

Daisy17 · 24/08/2015 07:38

I imagine they would be delighted, kids and grandparents! But all you can do is ask politely. My four year old voluntarily spent Monday to Friday with my parents at their house this holiday, they all had a whale of a time. I love the fact that they can form such strong bonds together like that and me and DP had some time to be together with just baby DS2 - different scenario but a holiday for the two of you sounds like an equally valid reason.

UnicornFart · 24/08/2015 07:39

Do it! My lovely parents are taking our DS on holiday for a week next month. He'll be 11 months - I'm not quite sure they know what they're letting themselves in for!

Congratulations on your 10th wedding anniversary. I'm sure your DH will love the surprise holiday Smile

TheseventeenthSixteen · 24/08/2015 07:41

As long as your parents are fit and well and able to cope then why not ask. I'm about to be a grandma and the thought of getting to spend quality time with my grandchild/children is lovely. Hope they do and you have a wonderful time.

addictedtosugar · 24/08/2015 07:45

Of course you can ask, but do it before you book the holiday, and make it clear that no is an acceptable answer!

gamerwidow · 24/08/2015 07:50

Fine to ask as long as you will be ok if they say no. Fwiw my 5 yo dd is going to stay at my pil at October half term for the week for no other reason than the fact that she wants to and they want to have her.

HSMMaCM · 24/08/2015 07:52

We did it. My mum came to stay at our house and I'd arranged for another mum to do the school runs (although in the event they shared them).

Shutthatdoor · 24/08/2015 07:57

Of course you can ask, but do it before you book the holiday, and make it clear that no is an acceptable answer!

I think this is important. Ask before you book and don't make them feel that no isn't an option and if they do say no don't make them feel guilty. Wink

seastargirl · 24/08/2015 08:02

We go away next week, my mum is having the kids for 3 days and mil for 3 days, we split it because they both want the time with them.

I always get wine and chocolate deleted with a food shop and themgivethemco vouchers for a restaurant that they can either use with the kids or after we get back.

Go for it, worst they can say is no.

onecurrantbun1 · 24/08/2015 08:06

No problem asking your parents but is it definitely what your husband would want? My husband loves our holidays as a family of 4, and has said before he wouldn't want to "waste" a week's annual leave away from the kids. We have been for very very occasional nights away but as a supplement to the family holiday rather than instead of it iykwim. He wouldn't want to use family money and, as I say, a large chunk OF his leave away from them.