Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To ask my parents to look after my DC for a week?

47 replies

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 24/08/2015 00:20

My DH and I are coming up to our 10 year wedding anniversary, and got married abroad. I'd like to surprise him and go back to the place we were married but after googling it, it seems it's now an adults only resort (it wasn't when we were married and there were young children in our group.)

I know DH would love it, and we've had a hard couple of years for various reasons... I want to ask my parents the possibility of looking after my DC (4 & 2, but will be 6 & 3 when I want to go) but flipping between it being the most unreasonable request ever, and thinking it will be fine!

We're very close to my parents, live round the corner, holiday usually once a year as a group (with my siblings and DC too), my DM is retired (but just early 50's) and by that time DD1 will be at school all day and DD2 at preschool.

What do you think? It's quite long haul so don't think I could feasibly go for less than 5 days... Is it really rude to ask?

OP posts:

FishWithABicycle · 24/08/2015 08:44

It's a huge ask - I'd only ask that much while making it clear that it's OK to say no, because it wouldn't be at all unreasonable for them to decline if they feel it's too much.

Andrewofgg · 24/08/2015 08:54

Your parents are so lucky. DW and I are first choice lookers-after (not for that long, I'm still working and DW can't lift a baby) for everyone's DGC except the ones we have not got. Are you listening, DS?

So ask but ask now before they get booked up!

HackerFucker22 · 24/08/2015 09:01

I'm going to ask my mil to have my kids so we can have a week away to celebrate our 4th birthday's. Not for another 5 years though lol and kids will both be in school full time.

You can ask. Make sure your mum doesn't feel obligated though.

HackerFucker22 · 24/08/2015 09:02

*40th

caravanista13 · 24/08/2015 09:21

Speaking as a Nanny, I'd say yes! It sounds as if you've all got a really close relationship - I think they'd be pleased to be asked.

Robotgirl · 24/08/2015 09:25

Go for it! Sounds like it'll be great for everyone

yorkshapudding · 24/08/2015 10:39

Fine to ask as long as it's very clear they're not under pressure to say yes. If they don't agree for any reason then you mustn't hold it against them. I would also make it clear that you will be leaving enough cash to cover the DC's food for the week plus a couple of decent bottles of wine for your parents.

scifisam · 24/08/2015 10:57

I'd say not only are you NBU but it's also a really, really common request of Grandparents once they're retired. Some might say no, and if they have stuff that they always do (like going to a class or something) then you might want to offer to pay for a creche or something for that time, if your kids are flexible enough in nature to be fine with a one-off creche. Most GPs would be delighted, OTOH. The only thing that would be unreasonable would if they were annoyed at you just for asking, and that's not very likely.

DurhamDurham · 24/08/2015 11:04

My parents looked after my children while we had a holiday every year since they were born until they were old enough to be left home alone.

We lived hundreds of miles from all family and so it was great for us to be able to have a holiday as a couple while the girls went to stay with their grandparents. They had a great time, my parents loved it as it gave them a chance to spend some quality time with the girls, and we had a lovely relaxing time.
We always made sure we had a family holiday too, I wouldn't have a couples holiday if we couldn't have taken the girls away too.

My girls are 22 and 18 now, they have very fond memories of staying with their grandparents and it was a chance for them to build up a relationship with them as living so far away they didn't get to see them very often.

happymummyone · 24/08/2015 12:25

If you don't ask, you don't get. The worst they can say is no.

WhatWas · 24/08/2015 14:38

I'd ask but rather than getting them a present how about offering to do a big chore for them. Such as a couple of days gardening or redecorating a room.
It's very easy to buy a present but to give up your time for them is more meaningful.

Pranmasghost · 24/08/2015 14:42

I'd ask and as a grandma I would say yes if asked. My longest so far has been Friday night to Sunday night but I would do more and so would the other grandparents. The dc are 8 and 6.

RabbitAtRest · 24/08/2015 14:46

I'm sure they would love it, agreed that you should make sure they feel comfortable declining.

My kids are getting too old, I'll take yours for a week

vvviola · 24/08/2015 14:49

I'd definitely ask before booking, but otherwise, yes, ask.

In our case DPs offered to look after DD1 when I was pregnant with DD2. We lived abroad and DD2 was due in a month when everyone leaves town, so we were likely to be stuck for someone to look after DD1 (especially as, due to various reasons, there was a 6 week window of when it was "likely" I could give birth). DPs collected DD1 and brought her home with them... she stayed a month until her sister finally made an appearance. They all had a ball - and my DPs adored having her.

Ilikedmyoldusernamebetter · 24/08/2015 14:59

Ask, as long as its a question not a demand its absolutely fine to ask!

My in-laws are early 60s, both early retired, and they have my 3 kids overnight and have had them for 4 nights in a row this holiday. There was a phase where they still wanted the kids to stay but asked not to have the boys together as they were too full on in combination, so they'd have DS2 on his own and DD and DS1 together, but they always ask to have them once in each of the longer holidays, initially overnight and now for a few nights. They can now manage all 3 together again as DS2 no longer has nappies and is slightly less loony than he was at 2 and 3, and DS1 is old enough to be sent outdoors to run up and down if he is being particularly insane indoors!

We ask them occasionally to have the kids so we can do something, other times they ask for them... sometimes they say no if it doesn't suit... but it's OK to ask as long as you don't expect an automatic yes, are happy with "yes but not those dates" and don't book before you ask!

ilovechristmas123 · 25/08/2015 13:45

ask them op,sounds like they enjoy spending time with their grandchildren

i feel like my parents are the only one on MN that would not like my children for a few nights

Original poster

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 25/08/2015 13:46

I asked and they said yes!!

A friend of mine is going to be on standby for a bit of babysitting in case they need a break, but they seem really keen!

I'm SO excited!!

OP posts:

ilovechristmas123 · 25/08/2015 13:49

have a great time

caravanista13 · 25/08/2015 13:50

Yippee!

Sansoora · 25/08/2015 14:52

Have a fabulous time

Rab19 · 25/08/2015 16:49

You're not being unreasonable at all, as long as your parents are happy to have them! We've left our boys with either my Mum, his Parents or my Dad & Stepmum for various times to go on holiday's I've won etc. - the boys love it & we enjoy the break - go for it & have a lovely time!

Rab x x

Floisme · 25/08/2015 18:15

Aw I want grandchildren now

Have a lovely time, op.

Flip

1 2