Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DD2 along with DD1 to this party?

39 replies

dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:21

DD1 (8) has a birthday party at 3.30 today in a soft play place. I've been called into work, which leaves DH with both children. He would normally just drop DD1 off and pick her up later, but the soft play they've chosen is a 30 min drive each way & it seems a bit daft to be going home and then back again.

WIBU to politely text the birthday girl's mum and ask if it's OK for DH to bring DD2 and, of course, we will pay her entrance/food costs seperately?

OP posts:
ButterflyUpSoHigh · 23/08/2015 10:26

If you text first I am sure it will be fine. It's the ones that just turn up with 3 siblings that annoy me. (Same family every year)

pinkyredrose · 23/08/2015 10:29

No that's rude. So what if it's 30 mind drive?

Sirzy · 23/08/2015 10:32

Can your dh not just pay for normal admission for dd2 and let her just have a play while the party is on and then if necessary buy some food from the place.

2ndSopranosRule · 23/08/2015 10:32

Just go, it's fine - when you get there, just tell the person at the desk that it's one for the party and one to play - have the money ready too so it's obvious! The other dc isn't going to the party so there's no problem.

We do this with soft play parties, as do many parents I know.

willconcern · 23/08/2015 10:33

Can't you share lifts with someone? One of you takes, the other brings home?

2ndSopranosRule · 23/08/2015 10:35

pinky they are going to pay the normal public admission price and the dc will play while the other dc is at the party - how is it rude?

Far ruder to not show at all.

OP - I wouldn't even ask.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:36

Sirzy: yes, that was the plan. I would never just take another along

I've had this happen with DD's parties (& seen it at others) and haven't minded at all (& thinking about it, they never texts in advance), but wondered what the consensus was.

OP posts:
BrendaandEddie · 23/08/2015 10:36

Share a lift. Or h goes elsewhere with other kid

MyNewBearTotoro · 23/08/2015 10:36

I think if you ask the Mum it makes it more awkward - she may feel obliged to offer to pay/ invite DD2 to have the party food/ cake etc.

I would take DD2 but pay for her separately and make it clear you're not expecting her to be part of the party (explain this to DD2 beforehand as well so she's not expecting to join in for the cake etc!).

RalphSteadmansEye · 23/08/2015 10:38

Just take her and pay when you arrive. Order some food at some point for her, too, so party parents know you're not gatecrashing the party.

Completely common where I am for siblings to come along to soft play or farm type parties. Their parent just pays separately for them.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:41

Nobody to share a lift with.

The place will no doubt be packed to the rafters & DD2 will no doubt be off making new friends so it's quite possible the child's mum will be none he wiser.

Mynewbear--I hadn't thought of that. I don't know this woman/child at all. She also only sent the invite home on Friday so v short notice.

OP posts:
Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:41

Sorry for the typos. On my phone.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/08/2015 10:41

If he's going to stay with her, then no problem at all, I would have thought. But if he wants the party mum to take responsibility for her, then that's a bit more cheeky - how old is DD2?

Eternalsunshines · 23/08/2015 10:44

I wouldn't have even mentioned it. It's a non issue, I'm sure there will be plenty of other people there that are not attending the party.

Fuckitfay · 23/08/2015 10:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsTargaryen · 23/08/2015 10:45

I think it sounds fine especially if you text first just to let her know that dd2 will be there with dh but not as part of the party.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:45

Goodness, no, the closest she would come to being part of the 'party' is playing with the other kids on the equipment. As I said, it will be packed.

OP posts:
Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:47

Forgot to say DD2 is 5. I suspect she would be off making friends with other kids than playing with DD1's pals.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/08/2015 10:56

So your DH will be staying with her then? In which case, no problem, nice of you to let her know but really I wouldn't even bother, tbh.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 11:00

Yes, DH will definitely stay.

OP posts:
RapidlyOscillating · 23/08/2015 11:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 23/08/2015 11:10

I think your op makes it sound like you are expecting your additional dc to join in. I'd text first and make sure they don't join in. If there are no shows they might be invited.

I've had a party like this and people signed their additional dc in on the list. Towards the end the party place tried to charge me for extra dc. I told them to take it up with the cheeky bastards that added their dc's names. n

Groovee · 23/08/2015 11:12

If one of mine was at a soft play party, I used to sign them in to the party then pay for the other to play. Then I could have a drink and a chat with the others!

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/08/2015 11:15

non issue. as long as she doesn't get herself involved in the party and you pay the admission costs and buy her her own lunch like you plan to do then it's absolutely fine

rollonthesummer · 23/08/2015 11:24

I've got lots of kids and have been to many parties over the year-there is almost always a parent (often several) with siblings with them who they've paid to go in with. A non issue. Single mums/one parent ill or working means there isn't always someone to have the others.

If you want to, text the mum saying unfortunately you have to work so DH will have both children! Explain he'll pay separately for her and will obviously stay if you feel worried but this is standard practice. It's a public place!