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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DD2 along with DD1 to this party?

39 replies

dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 10:21

DD1 (8) has a birthday party at 3.30 today in a soft play place. I've been called into work, which leaves DH with both children. He would normally just drop DD1 off and pick her up later, but the soft play they've chosen is a 30 min drive each way & it seems a bit daft to be going home and then back again.

WIBU to politely text the birthday girl's mum and ask if it's OK for DH to bring DD2 and, of course, we will pay her entrance/food costs seperately?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 23/08/2015 11:28

If it is a normal soft play (where they've not paid for exclusive use) then I think it's fine.

Send dd1 to party bit.

Then pay for dd2 and stay to supervise her. Buy her her own food from place and generally not be involved in party (from point of view of dd2 anyway)

EmeraldKitten · 23/08/2015 11:31

Tbh at parties in a big soft play place, I don't even bother asking first.

I just pay for the second dc to get in and order them food. Then ask the birthday parents when we're there if they could bring their food and eat it in the 'birthday room' with the others.

I've never been refused but if I was I would just keep the other dc in the main area to have their food.

I don't see a need to ask someone's permission to take one dc somewhere that is open to the public anyway tbh - a bit ott IMO.

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 12:13

OK, pretty much a consensus then. Thanks.

I'm Shock at people adding their DCs to the party list.

OP posts:
cashewnutty · 23/08/2015 12:46

If the party is at a big soft play then there should be no issue. I used to do that all the time when mine were small. One off to party and one into play with me watching. Other friends did this too. The food (at the place we went to) was served in a private room anyway.

MadamArcatiAgain · 23/08/2015 15:29

I wouldn't even ask.If it is open to the public the mum knows that anyone who fancies can show up. I think if you ask she is going to think you are angling for the younger one to join in the tea etc.

SideOrderofChips · 23/08/2015 15:42

DD2 has had 3 soft play parties this summer. I've taken DD1 to two of them. Both times the parents were told and i paid for DD1 to go in and bought her her own food whilst DD2 ate the party food.

No one had an issue. Its not like you are expecting the party parents to pay for DD1

SideOrderofChips · 23/08/2015 15:42

Or DD2 in your case even!

MillionToOneChances · 23/08/2015 15:42

Then ask the birthday parents when we're there if they could bring their food and eat it in the 'birthday room' with the others.

This is where you would start verging on intruding on the party. YANBU to drop one child at the party and then take DD2 to soft play independently at the same place. I agree with pp that texting the hosts might make them feel you were angling for an extra invitation.

nicestrongtea · 23/08/2015 15:49

I wouldn't but then I think soft play is hell on earthnoroviruscity and it will look like you are after an invite.

I always feel sorry for the older DC - they cant even go to a party on their own without their siblings being dragged along.

Goshthatsspicy · 23/08/2015 16:23

I find these type of threads interesting.
In real life (round my way) siblings are always popping up at parties.
And Shock they are welcomed , and given food!

I've had extras at mine. I didn't mind.

I've not added any extras as I've got quite a few years between my three.

Anyway, I'd buy a ticket for your other child op as I have never seen it go wrong! Grin

Marcelinewhyareyousomean · 23/08/2015 17:45

Million, I agree, I'm Shock Confused Hmm at buying food and asking to join in with the party.

nicestrongtea · 23/08/2015 17:57

Its seen as quite rude around here as there was a woman in our village who would just dump her 3 Dc and go off for the afternoon !
As I said I feel sorry for the DC who was invited,its nice for them to do things on their own without mum,dad,siblings,granny,cat...

Original poster
dontrunwithscissors · 23/08/2015 18:21

DH took DD2 along & all was fine. I decided to not text, in case it sounded like I was angling for an invite. The mum was none the wiser. DD2 spent the time happily playing with children her own age & DH sat separately from the 'party''. (Probably more because he doesn't do 'mum' chat than anything else).

WRT the comments about siblings getting to do things on their own...well, sometimes that's unavoidable or impractical. As I said in the OP, the mum gave us less than 48 hour's notice. (The invite arrived after school on Friday. I suspect DD1 was a 'make-up numbers' invite). With a bit more notice, I could have made sure it wasn't a problem.

On a side note, I can now say 'told you so' to DH, who mocks me for always having a just-in-case birthday present in the house.

OP posts:
Murfles · 23/08/2015 18:38

I just pay for the second dc to get in and order them food. Then ask the birthday parents when we're there if they could bring their food and eat it in the 'birthday room' with the others

How rude are you? Your other child wasn't invited yet you ask for them to join the rest of the children that are invited? A lot of party rooms only accommodate a certain amount of children for goodness sake. I'd have said no tbh. I suppose you expect an extra party bag too Hmm

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