To feel a little sad at having very big children

[Purplesky2]

Ds is 7.7 and 139cm tall and Dd is 3.6 and 109cm tall. I sometime feel sad the way people speak to them. Not so much Dd as she has a toddlerish face and mannerisms and also looks about 5 which is still young but Ds get treated much older by other family members. My BIL was teasing him for his teddy bears the other day which he play with at home. He also loves playgrounds and soft play still but I fear people will tell him off for being too old and big soon. I know it's a first world problem and I am incredibly lucky that he is healthy but really inside he is just a small boy but looks so old on the outside.

phenomenal

"Ds2 is my prize marrow" love it! And will use it on my own ds2, who is also very tall.

I tell you what's weird, seeing ds2 in ds1's hand-me-downs, because sometimes they go straight from ds1's wardrobe into ds2's. Ds1 is 6 years older than ds2, of average height, but matchstick breadth.

I know exactly where you are coming from op and totally agree with you

Someone said yesterday that my 12 yr old could be mistaken for 18!! . They still play with their Playmobil on occasion fhs!

Mature looks aside, hate this idea that dc have to grow up quickly and stop playing with certain toys at a certain age.

They shouldn't be mollycoddled but they need to have time to enjoy being children.

And often, with a toy like Lego or Playmbobil, they can get another level of enjoyment out of it when they are more autonomous and more dexterous.

I had this at Nursery with my ds3. He was tall for his age and they were expecting too much from him thinking he was older ( they also had his date of birth recorded wrongly and were thinking he was ten months older than he was). They approached me saying his manners were not what they should be !

I have one of each, my oldest son is 13, 5ft 9 and looks about 17/18. My youngest is 10 and looks 7/8, I keep forgetting he's 10 and think of him a lot younger

Your tall DC will love it as adults though! Always a certain gravitas about a tall person. Very attractive trait in men particularly.

Agree BIL is a knob.

Scatterthenuns - agree. With the gravitas thing, particularly in men, and also that my niece who has always been tall is now a beautiful leggy teenager. I am jealous.

Yup, I've had it too - didn't help that there was only 13 months between mine so made it even harder to accept that DS1 was still a baby.

However, I wouldn't worry too much - they are both now giant strapping teenagers and seem to have survived regardless. btw, height and size doesn't necessarily mean too much in terms of getting to buy things underage - can get away with a little bit and have been able to get DSs into carefully selected 15 movies at 13 (being with a parent obv helps) but although they are 6 foot plus, they still have faces appropriate to their age (or younger) Ds2 just turned 14 and he has a bit of a 'tache and a couple of hairs on his chin, but his younger and shorter classmate has full stubble going on and looks far older than giant Ds2 who just looks like a large child rather than a fledgling adult :o There is no way he'd get served in a pub!

My ds is very tall for his age he's turning 9 next week but constantly gets mistaken for 12 years old despite having a very young sounding voice.
I remember i had his 4th party at a soft play area and we visited it again a few days after his party,when a women who worked there came over and told me off for letting my child play in the under 5 area i wasn't very impressed to say the least

YANBU for being a bit sad, but I think there be concerns whichever end of the scale they are.
I have one big strapping DS (95th centile) and one who is very petite (2nd centile). The small-for-age one worries me more. It's been shown that taller people tend to achieve more career-wise, and society tends to favour taller people. Particularly for men. Lots of women are less likely to want a smaller man as a partner. People talk about "small man syndrome" and make out that they all have a huge chip on their shoulders or that it's the reason they push themselves to achieve. It's offensive and untrue, but you hear this stuff all the time.

So YANBU to be annoyed about it now, but in the long run your child is more likely to be better off.

And yep, ^^ some comments confirming what I just said.

I agree with PP that your BIL is heavily stereotyping boy/ girls. I think he would have said that to your DS even if he was small for his age because he's a boy!

It would make me feel protective of my DS in that scenario though. I may interject if he said summat like that again and say your DS is x years old, likes to do/ play that and that's more than fine.

Please remember the upsides of your strapping children - gorgeous, healthy and you never have to worry about their growth

Ah yes we have this. DD is 21 months but really tall and looks a lot older than she is. We were at the park recently and heard some older boys debating how old she was, one said 'I think she's 3 but she can't be because she doesn't talk properly'! I've found even family expect her to be doing things beyond her years because she looks so old, for example my parents and in laws make comments about her being too old for nappies. And they know exactly how old she is, so no excuse really!

Some older people have selected memories and all seem to think their babies were out of nappies before they could walk - it's not true but they use it as a stick to beat you with. Luckily neither my Mum or now deceased MIL were like that but I have heard it from friends. Anyway I have photo evidence of myself and family members very much nappied up at 3ish.

Yanbu. Dd is 11 and always been mistaken because of her height for being older. Even at 2 because she talked well people expected her to behave like a 4yr old. Pisses me off that people are too thick to clock on we aren't all the exact same height.
For all the wanky comments though I like being tall myself now, and because of how I felt as a kid and some attitudes dd has encountered, I've bigged up all the positives and dd likes her height.
Although she has a mainly childs body and face, she has actual breasts rather than buds, and it does somewhat worry me that lads up to 15 yr old seem to have noticed her in the last 6 months. However locally most know her age so the odd comment from one that doesn't is usually met with 'she's still at primary' by one who does and that puts them off. And elsewhere dd is only interested in lads as mates. I'm more concerned for at 13 or so.
She's also articulate with a very cutting wit when needed so older unpleasant kids aren't an issue and never were.
More knob head adults who constantly comment like I haven't noticed, or make twattish assumptions about habits/ behavior that are normal for whatever age she's been. And when she does something that's actually an achievement for a child her age, brush it off because it's not that rare for a child 4yrs older.

My son has always been tall for his age and I used to worry people would think he was older than he actually was. I'm 5'6'' and he was taller than me by the time he went to high school. He's now 17 and 6'5'' but skinny with it; however he still has a really young face and is nowhere near shaving yet. I love having a tall boy and have learnt to smile then ignore the comments like what do I feed him on. I think he's more or less stopped growing height wise now - hope so anyway cos it's already hard getting trousers long enough.

Tell your BIL to leave your boy alone; they grow up fast enough these days & that time when they are still young & innocent enough to play with teddies is great.

YANBU

Mine are 9, 11 and 13 years old and the older two are both tall for their age. My 13 year old ds especially has hugely and unexpectedly shot up over the last two years, is now 180cms tall, and gets taken for a 15/16 year old. Really he is still a child. It is when he horses around harasses his sisters in a 13 year old kind of way that I feel a bit in public as it sometimes looks faintly ridiculous. He has also become very clean and always somehow looks immaculate stealth boast which makes it look somehow more out of place. Like someone in a suit (he doesn't wear suits!) on their way to work trying to trip up, chase, and generally annoy his sisters.

it does somewhat worry me that lads up to 15 yr old seem to have noticed her in the last 6 months

lurkedforever the same thing has been happening with my 11 year old dd and it worries me too. Have even noticed some men looking at her .

I can speak from personal experience of being a young girl who was much taller and started puberty earlier than most. My mum merrily ignored what was happening, never spoke to me about it, treated me as if I was actually older a lot of the time, as did everyone else. I ended up growing up too fast and too young as a result. Men flirted with me before I was a teenager, thinking I was older. I hung out with older kids and got up to all the naughty things they did. My advice to you would be to talk to your child, don't get duped by their looks either, and keep them safe! I'm still affected by some of the things that I did when I was way too young, I'm sure none of you will be as stupid as my mother was though!

I have had experience with this to! My ds is now just 13. He is 185cm and is super handsome. He loves being tall. I know it's hard when they are younger but I found family and friends would say to me that they had to remember he is just a baby. Don't worry about all the other wankers. We have gorgeous super model worthy offspring!

YANBU, I've had the same with my DDs all their lives. Not only are they both very tall and always have been, they've also always been very early and fluent in their speech, so much more articulate than their age. DD1 got asked out by a 6th former when she was only 12 - he was mortified when she told him, bless him. I've never had nasty comments from family though, your BIL is a knobhead.

It's easier now they're 14 and 12, though it's scary to think that DD1 could pass for 18...

I have a very tall daughter and I was frequently asked when she was 2 why she wasn't in school? My polite replies that she was too young/only 2/she's very tall for her age gradually morphed into "what's it got to do with you?" these were total strangers

I have a ginormo-child. She's 4 and looks like a 6 yo. She gets hand-me-downs from her 9 yo (tiny) cousin.

Worst things for me; everyone judging her behaviour. SHE'S FOUR PEOPLE!
And, the clothes. I want her in cute, kiddy pajamas but all that fits her is strappy tween crap.

My dd is 9 over 5ft and in age 12 or 13 clothes/size 4.5 shoes. It Is seen as something acceptable to comment on and so many adults make assumptions. I took dd to optician in reception and he just did the normal eye test - dd read the letters phonetically! He then asked how old she was and said he has assumed she was 8. had to decline a party invite to soft play last month as she was over the 148cm limit. Plus sides are she has been able to go on any theme park rides she wants. Paying vat on an infant child's shoes grated though.

DD is nearly eight and a half and is 141 cm, size five shoes. She's always been the tallest in the class. She speaks well and is very sensible so is often mistaken for 11/12.
Took her on a donkey ride the other day and after being moved onto a bigger donkey we were told she was OK this time but it would be her last ride as her legs hung too low! I do feel she's treated differently and people have higher expectations because she is so big.
Dh is 6ft6in so I chuckle when she's out with him and people marvel at her height, she was never going to be small, she was 53cm long and 8lb6oz when born at bang on 37 weeks!