AIBU to think a baby shower for a second child is a little grabby?

[quietasamouse]

My friend's second child is due soon. We have all (incl friends from uni who haven't seen her for a while) been invited to a baby shower, with a list of gifts to choose from and a few things to definitely not buy (as she likes to choose her own versions of these things). The invitation has come from her.

My friend is lovely but not the overly sociable type. She's not keen on other people's occasions e.g. hen nights, evening wedding celebrations etc as she says she would rather be at home, so often doesn't go or makes up a childcare excuse. This I understand, but I'm confused as to why she would then go and arrange an event of her own!

AIBU to think it is a little cheeky?

I'm going to a second baby shower in about six weeks - however, it's been organised by a friend, and I know the mother-to-be is skint, and this baby is the opposite sex of the first, and there is no list. My gifts will be a pile of baby wipes and a couple of girly bits.

I will not however be giving anything to the new baby after she actually arrives (although my friend will be receiving flowers and chocolate from me. Especially chocolate, which is absolutely vital for nursing mothers. True fact...)

I hate baby showers! what's was wrong with giving a gift after the birth?

and gift lists? oh boy do not get me started on gift lists....

ps autocorrect put that as git lists. I like git lists. Everyone who uses them is a git IMO

"I think a baby shower is a great opportunity for a fun party, but I don't see the need for gifts."

Then you don't call it a shower. Which is specifically a party to shower the honoree with gifts.

Lots of reasons to have all sorts of parties. Including a last blast before a baby arrives.

But for a shower, you have to provide a gift. It's the whole point of a party with that name.

A baby sprinkle, now I heard it all

Baby sprinkle sounds likes he/she's wee'd on you

We had a bunch of mates round a couple of weeks before DD1 was born. A friend did some cupcakes and we ordered a pizza. I would have been mortified if it would have turned out to be a baby shower. I didn't want presents at all, certainly not before the baby was born. The presents we did receive were given directly to her when dear friends came to meet her, and were generally token gifts of £10 or so.

Vulgar.... grabby and more fool you if you buy into her selfish crap.

Have been invited to a baby shower in a few weeks. ThankfullyDD was invited to a birthday party that very same day so I can't go, what a shame!

Load of bloody crap! I'll buy a present if I want to, not because someone else told me too!

Jeez, some of you are pretty joyless. Baby showers or sprinkles or whatever are just an excuse for a bit of fun. Are we not allowed to celebrate things anymore?! I've always felt it an honour to be invited to celebrate with my friends. Is only the first any worthy of a celebration? What a ridiculous notion, every baby even number 20 is worthy of a fuss if the woman/couple so desires.

So what if she has a gift list, she has expressed a preferences, you don't HAVE to adhere to them.

Don't go if you don't want to but don't judge her choices for wanting to celebrate. She doesn't have to justify it to you or anyone else.

I've never been to a baby shower and I'm fine with that. I have lots of friends who've had babies but no one I know has ever had a shower. They are weird.
I love celebrating friends new babies and am more than happy to get them gifts and take them around after they've had the baby. Then you can actually see the baby. Why would you do it before they arrive?
And sending out a gift list - yuck!

BumWad
Grabby for 1st, 2nd, 5th baby.

But ok for 3rd, 4th or 6th babies? That seems like a reasonable rule! ;-)

Whoops - forgot where I was then! I meant

I was thrown a supreme baby shower for DC3. I didn't ask for it, had no idea it was in the works, and there wasn't a gift list.

My friends and I have baby showers but they're not done in a grabby way, it's more of a get together with tea and vodka for the non-preggos and nibbles to have a giggle and wish our friend well. Usually there'll be a kitty and everyone chucks £3-£5 into it which we use to buy a gift we think will be useful such as loads of nappies.

Supreme = surpise

Oh ffs

surprise

I prefer the tradition of gift-giving after the baby arrives.

My SIL is having a baby sprinkle
She is hosting the event herself, has asked for gifts (must be blue only as they are having a boy) and children cannot attend.
I think I have something else on that day.

The first shower was atrocious. My highlight was being told to sit on the floor as SIL's 15 yo sister shouldn't have to give up a chair in her own house.
I won't mention the games.

A shower is a Great idea for a first baby, especially if the ladies on both sides of the family haven't met/interacted much. Gifts are lonely but not entirely necessary in my opinion - but in saying that, I know a lot of people, myself included, who love giving gifts.

Not so sure a shower for second baby is really necessary though as you're more than likely to have everything you really need!

Lovely Not lonely!

I thought a baby shower (an American custom) was an event planned as a surprise for the pg mother ?

Not orchestrated by the pg mother herself, with gift list. That is what makes it grabby.

I don't like the idea at all. It's not about not wanting to celebrate the baby, for those who have said people not liking baby showers are essentially miserable gits.

I'm happy to celebrate a baby. Once there is one. Not before. And not on demand either, with a gift list.

It's not 'a little grabby'. It's extremely grabby.

Awful American import. A second one is beyond rude.

I didnt realise you were supposed to take gifts to a baby shower. This may be why i was never invited to another one

'Sprinkle' ugh