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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unused to a day at home during the holidays

31 replies

madeitagain · 18/08/2015 13:56

Is anyone else like me? During the school holidays we (my son and I) have been camping, to various local park(we don't have a back garden) visiting friends, on free council activities, to museums, films, swimming, soft play ..................
When I stopped and thought about it we have been on the go (not frantically) but routinely pretty much all holidays. Today I had a short errand to do and then returned home. The plan, which is generally pretty flexible was to go to a museum later in the day. My son settled down and has been entertaining himself quietly since we came home. I said to him what would you like to do? and he replied stay at home and play. I feel relief but at the same time at the back of my mind, think we should be out enjoying the sun etc etc. Am I alone in setting up these annoying expectations in my mind? Our holiday up to this point has been hugely enjoyable. I am not of the view that what I am doing is right or wrong I just wonder what other people do in their holidays particularly those with an only child.

OP posts:
Ragwort · 18/08/2015 14:10

I have an only child and used to arrange quite a lot of activities for him when he was younger (esp. clubs where I could leave him Grin) just because he is a very active child and loved being out and about meeting other children. But I wasn't fanatical about it, often we would have a quietish day at home.

But now he's a teenager it's a real effort to get him to do anything so I am having loads of quiet days at home (and time on mumsnet Grin).

museumum · 18/08/2015 15:21

Have you got a garden? If so I'd go out and read a book or do some weeding. I hate being indoors if the weather is nice but that's what gardens are for :)

UrethraFranklin1 · 18/08/2015 16:20

Lucky you. We are on week 9 of holidays and live where there are no free council activities, or museums, or much of anything else. We spend a lot of time at home.
But I wouldn't be doing something every single day even if we did have those things since I think children need to entertain themselves and enjoy unstructured fun.

SewingAndCakes · 18/08/2015 16:26

We have, what I think is, a good balance of days out, and days at home. I used to plan the holidays so that each day was full, but now I've realised that we all need to spend time at home; the older two boys like to play out with friends or on their iPads, and ds3 enjoys pottering at home making a mess.

Plus it costs more money to go out anywhere if the weather is bad (in the NW it generally is).

alrayyan · 18/08/2015 16:42

Yes dear you are indeed perfect. I think that's what you were after...and especially if you have made others feel shit at the same time. I think it sounds tedious and bet your kids are sick of being pushed to be interesting at all times. Thank God I have a job that entertains me so I don't have to depend on my.poor kids (who are quite happy watching TV or lounging by the pool with their ipad all day)

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 18/08/2015 16:47

We had a two and half week holiday abroad, and then spent most of last week at home pottering about.
This week is shaping up similarly, we had a busy weekend seeing various family, and I have a couple of things planned for next week followed by spending the bank holiday weekend with PILs.

I have two though, and they play nicely together, and they enjoy being at home and able to read their books, play with their toys etc.

SewingAndCakes · 18/08/2015 16:56

I forgot to add what was going to be my main point (I blame the small kids)... I think kids need to entertain themselves for good chunks of time. I think it does them some good to be bored and have to think of something to do.

Sirzy · 18/08/2015 16:59

Over halfway through the holidays and this is your first day in? I would be knackered!

We have done lots but have still have plenty of downtime at home

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 18/08/2015 17:02

My child is as anti social as me. I'm not proud of that fact, but DS likes the idea of staying home more than going out a lot. Although he enjoys it once we're out. we live rurally and I don't drive so we've been at home a lot. We go out for a lot of walks as where we live is beautiful. Also its the families farm we live on so we've got pretty much free reign and a grandad or an uncle will often come pull him on a tractor.

I am lucky in that I have some lovely friends who come pick us up and take us out if theyre going. I do hate relying on people like that though. (am learning to drive so will be a bit more self sufficient soon)

And alrayyan am laughing to myself about you ranting about op's supposed stealth boast, while slipping in there that you have a pool .Easily done isn't it?

duplodon · 18/08/2015 17:42

Miaow, alrayyan.

We have ten weeks nearly of hols here. It's been very long, and I work half the week. I made a conscious effort to make Summer much as I remembered it as a kid. This means they played in the garden a lot (or the kitchen floor if it was raining), had two trips to the city, a week's family hols, a week in each granny's house and not a whole lot else. I did a lot of decluttering and odd jobs about the place.

alrayyan · 18/08/2015 17:49

I don't have a pool actually. There is one on our compound which is nothing to shout about.

306235388 · 18/08/2015 18:23

I don't think constantly entertaining kids is beneficial for them actually.

We had 2 weeks away at the start of the holidays and they go back to school tomorrow. We've had a few bigger days out and smaller things like swimming and park etc but what they've enjoyed most is being home.

However, by home I mean outside playing so I suppose that's difficult if you've no garden and nowhere to play safely right outside.

My kids are nearly 5 and 8 and have played with the kids in the street loads - they've all been building dens on the trampoline, cycling etc. I have to sit out to watch my youngest but otherwise it's pretty low maintenance.

How old is your Ds?

Original poster
madeitagain · 18/08/2015 19:15

My child is 5 almost 6. He is fairly social and outgoing. I am not nearly as outgoing as he is but I do enjoy meeting other parents who are friends and who have children my son plays with. My son is good at entertaining himself however he seems to have so much pent up energy if he doesn't go to the park or do something physical regardless of the weather.

OP posts:
Minicaters · 18/08/2015 19:33

I wish we had more lazy days at home.

CharleyDavidson · 18/08/2015 23:33

We sit down and make a list of things that we want to do at the start of the 6 weeks. I check who wants to do what and the ones that both my DDs want to do are definites on our 'to do' list.

We don't spend every day out and about though. Each week I aim to do one paid thing (thankyou Tesco vouchers and the Kids direct leaflet vouchers for some of the more expensive ones), one cheaper paid thing and something free, like a walk at the local country park.

Then we spend the rest of the time pottering, chilling and just enjoying not having to run around like we do in term time. I get medical appointments out of the way and decide on a few DIY jobs so I feel productive at the end of the hols.

My DDs are older (10 and 14) and they enjoy the time at home a lot.

Original poster
madeitagain · 19/08/2015 10:59

Thanks Charley i like the idea of having a flexible sort of to do list. I think my son would really like that.

OP posts:
nikki1978 · 19/08/2015 11:05

That sounds exhausting. I see the summer hols as a time to have fun with friends and family but also to rest and recuperate ready for the next school year. My kids need at least one day at home each week but I give them 2-3. I work 2 days so they are out and about with their grandparents then and have had some lovely days out. I take them out with friends once a week then the other days we relax and on weekends do family stuff.

If your child is happy ok but maybe slow down a bit or he will start back at school completely knackered!

ohtheholidays · 19/08/2015 12:41

Your not alone,I've always set myself really high tagets for how much the kids get to do in the school holidays and it's bloody exhausting Grin Honestly for years and years I just presumed that's what all familys did,I was obviously completely wrong.

I can't do it the same way anymore because of my bad health and disabilitys,it can't be helped but I still feel bloody guilty about it all DH never feels that guilt lucky sod.

So far we've had a holiday in Weymouth for 5 days,me,DH,DS13 and DD7,oldest son 19 was at work for the week and second oldest son 17 wanted to stay home with him and DD12 was very lucky our close family friends took her to Great Yarmouth for 2 weeks.

Then last week Oldest Dsons were dropped of at Pakefield for they're holiday(they stayed there for 5 days)DH and youngest DD took them and had a day at the seaside,DS13 stayed at home with me and we had a lovely movie day.

Then the day before they're holiday ended me,DH,DS13 and DD7 drove up there had a lovely day in Great Yarmouth,spent the night in a premier Inn,up the next morning for breakfast and then we went and picked the oldest two up(they were only 20 minutes from the hotel)and then we took them all to Great Yarmouth for lunch and they went on all the rides at the Pleasure Beach.We didn't get home much before 9 pm.

Yesterday we went fruit picking and then onto a nice family pub for lunch.

We've been out for a picnic(a small outside pool there and park)also did some pond dipping which the kids all really enjoyed.

The children have been to the local park a couple of times with they're Dad.

We had a making day with 4 of the 5DC,we did tye dying and made treats for the wildbirds.

Still a few weeks of holidays left here,planning on going and visiting my Dad twice before they go back to school.

Going to take our friends out for a nice meal to thank them for taking DD on holiday with them.

Still want to visit a couple of Theme Parks and have a couple of days in the New Forest

Original poster
madeitagain · 19/08/2015 12:53

Sounds like fun. I hope your children are enjoying it.

OP posts:
NotEnoughTime · 19/08/2015 20:06

Personally I like a mix and I think my DC do too. Probably 3 "busy" days to two "chill out" days.

DisappointedOne · 19/08/2015 20:17

We LOVE days at home. YANBU.

Sometimesjustonesecond · 19/08/2015 22:18

Not such stealthy boasting there, OP!

CJCreggsmyhero · 19/08/2015 23:00

My DS 5, has little patience with my holiday over planning and demanded a weekly onesie day.

To be fair, it's been non stop (won't show off with the list Wink) and I lost perspective that lying about watching TV, eating wotsits for a few days was ok.

SingingSamosa · 19/08/2015 23:14

We've had a pretty rammed first four weeks of holidays (weekends away, camping festival and spanish holiday) and we are taking the last three weeks much more easy. We've really enjoyed our time away but we are all very relieved to be home and able to just chill and not have to have our time scheduled for us by others. The kids have done a lot of playing in the garden, reading and playing games. We can now do some catching up with friends and a few day trips out but we are a little restricted in what we can do because one of my three kids has a foot injury at the moment and so can't walk very far.

When I was a child I spent my entire summer holidays either playing outside at home with my friends or at my grandparents' house. I never had a proper holiday (either abroad or in the UK) with my parents but didn't feel I was missing out at all. I look back on my summers with fond memories. I hope my kids do too.

Kids need down time and to learn to manage their own time and entertainment so it can be detrimental to micro-manage all of their time and activities. I expect your son is probably very relieved to sit at home and not do much for the first time in the entire holidays!

Ohhelpohnoitsa · 19/08/2015 23:58

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