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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not go out or do anything fun at all until DS2 has turned 3

29 replies

TheSkiingGardener · 18/08/2015 02:08

He was such a happy baby. And then he turned 2 and nothing is fun anymore. When we are out, he wants to go home. When we are at home, he still gets upset and wants to go home. He doesn't want to go swimming, or play, or eat, or anything else. He just wants to say no and have tantrums and it is absolutely doing my fucking head in.

We're away at the moment and he's just had the screaming ab dabs on the floor. Not sure why. Nothing would fix it until he decided to climb back into bed and go to sleep. Argh.

OP posts:

Discopanda · 18/08/2015 02:16

I feel your pain and this age is tough but you WILL survive. Let them get on with the tantrums, it won't be all bad and it WILL pass. Young children do tend to turn into demons during summer as well...

Original poster

TheSkiingGardener · 18/08/2015 06:13

Thank you. I know. It will pass and hopefully we'll get my happy little chap back. Just argh at the moment. DS1 is 5 so we're experiencing our first school summer holiday too so there are a lot of new dynamics going on.

Im very tired as a result.

OP posts:

fruitscone · 18/08/2015 06:52

Chin up - I have a DC who went through the terrible twos from about 18 months to 5.5J and I felt just like you. But this phase will pass and now I look at DC and feel quite amazed that they have morphed into this placid, affectionate, loyal and lovely human being. I thought we were on track for highly strung for life and instead my DC is a delight 90% of the time! Result!

fruitscone · 18/08/2015 06:54

OK I realise my talk of it going on to 5.5J is not helpful at all but hopefully yours won't last so long!

BasinHaircut · 18/08/2015 06:56

Well I'm sending my DS (also 2) to live in a cave on his own until his next birthday. I think it's the only way we are both guaranteed to survive.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 18/08/2015 07:00

Is he getting enough sleep? I know it can be really hard if they are used to getting an hour in the afternoon but having his exciting big sister around is too distracting.
My 2nd tantrums where my 1st didn't and it's hard, he does it so much more if he's very tired or unwell. Perhaps he's struggling a bit with sharing the attention with his sister if he's used to being by himself?

redcaryellowcar · 18/08/2015 07:01

Reasonable or not, you are not alone!! Have you had someone check his ears/ general health?

mummytime · 18/08/2015 07:02

How is his spoken language? Sometimes it eases as they learn to use words more.
Overstimulation can be an issue.
As can transitions.
Trying to minimise both can help.

The other is to keep a secret star chart for yourself, and give yourself a star every time you spot and praise good behaviour. Sometimes the bad is so annoying we can overlook the good.

confusedandemployed · 18/08/2015 07:07

Yy to overstimulation being a problem. Just come back from a weekend at the seaside with DD, 2.6. Her total delight at being there didn't stop her whining, stropping and being a typical 2 year old.
I'm on the look out for a cave.

BernardBlack · 18/08/2015 07:14

Can someone direct me to the child cave please? Ds is just turned 2 and is frustrated by the world. Took him to the seaside for his birthday and lasted half an hour before his whinging and tantrums meant we gave up and came home. Am hoping he improves when he can talk, he doesn't say a word yet Whole other thread

ahbollocks · 18/08/2015 07:17

Can I join the cave too?
I've got wine
My 2 yr old was completely horrible yesterday and managed her pb of punching me 3 times, I know I'm doing everything 'right', her speech is brilliant and we do lovely things everyday, it's just that she is being a little rat bag.

Notso · 18/08/2015 07:33

DS3 is late to the terrible twos. He is 3.4 . At the moment he "can't like anyfing". It took me nearly an hour to get him to the shops yesterday, it's usually a 10 minute walk. He kept taking his shoes off, refusing to walk and shrieking orders at his brothers. We were going to buy sweets to decorate the cakes we made, apparently he "can't like cakes or sweets".

Discopanda · 18/08/2015 08:58

I have an old work friend who went through the same thing with her son and he stopped socialising too, turned out that he felt unconfident communicating due to tongue tie as a baby and was getting frustrated. Notso my 3 and a half YO says "can't like" as well!

Original poster

TheSkiingGardener · 18/08/2015 09:09

His speech is good. His favourite phrase is "I don't want to". His health seems fine but I think people are right about sharing attention. They fight over my attention all the time and if I'm feeling placid I can manage that but there are times I need my own cave and I just want to scream.

When they're good they are delightful so I'm hoping like mad that that is the side that wins out.

I've made a block cave booking, all welcome. I have wine and cake.

OP posts:

Peppasmate · 18/08/2015 09:12

can I come to your cave too please? I'm having tantrums as I've had enough of the never ending summer holidays!

BasinHaircut · 18/08/2015 09:47

Ok when I find the cave I'll share the GPS coordinates so you can all drop yours off too.

DS just put a half chewed biscuit in the bin then got it out and ate it. Tried to intervene but he kicked off so I thought it was safer to just let him get on with it.

BernardBlack · 18/08/2015 10:46

I made the fatal mistake of getting a cup of tea after putting DS down for a nap...we're now back watching Peppa fucking Pig whilst I try to stop him sticking his hands in my mug

YouBastardSockBalls · 18/08/2015 10:56

We're away at the moment and he's just had the screaming ab dabs on the floor. Not sure why. Nothing would fix it until he decided to climb back into bed and go to sleep. Argh.

This sounds like night terrors. My DS(2) has them. Their eyes can be open and everything but they're actually asleep. DSs are worse if he's overtired or has been upset in the day.

Took us ages to work out that he was actually asleep throughout though.

HighOverTheFenceLeapsSunnyJim · 18/08/2015 12:04

Think you're ambitious assuming it ends at 3. I'm at the zoo with the DC, dc2 who is a month off 4 is being an absolute brat.

3CheekyLittleMonkeys · 18/08/2015 12:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

TheSkiingGardener · 18/08/2015 14:03

Don't tell me it doesn't stop at 3. Logically I know you're right but I need a scrap, a glimmer of hope to get me through to next March!

OP posts:

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 18/08/2015 14:05

2 is hard work. I wouldn't blame you at all!

coffeeisnectar · 18/08/2015 14:11

It doesn't stop until they leave home

Yarp · 18/08/2015 14:20

You look back when they are lot older and think :' why on earth did we take them to the zoo/beach/museum/on holiday when they spent most of it tantrumming, pooing or sleeping, when you can take them to these things as a teenager and have a really nice time.

Fun is water on the very young, I tell ya.

Yarp · 18/08/2015 14:21

Fun is wasted on the very young.

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