to bloody love living alone in a quiet minimalist flat?

[LeftMyRidingCropInTheMortuary]

I'm 32 and I think I've finally cracked it. I have the lifestyle I want although it is never how I thought things would turn out.

I don't even want to live with a man again. Kids is unlikely to happen for various reason.

I've become increasingly sensitive to noise and mess as I've got older. I work in a stressful people-focussed job and treasure being able to hear myself think when I get home. I am also a control-freak and need to have my environment "just-so".

I have got rid of a lot of "stuff" over the past few years. All my books now on kindle and music on laptop. Everything admin done on-line.

Have I accidentally stumbled on the key to happiness? Peace, space & simplicity?

Or am I secretly kidding myself and want a house full of man, kids, dogs and family stuff?!

Just musing this over whilst my friends socialise tonight and I lie on the couch listening to the swoosh of the dishwasher.

Night sky - that's not a million miles away from my bedroom - white and wood...

Just needs a vase of white roses to make it feminine!

We have a white minimalist flat with children. Even a vase of white roses

You can keep your single bed though. Make mine a double every time.

ooh I didn't see who had a single bed...I have a kingsize bed. It takes up far too much space in the room but I love it! I have always hated sharing beds with boyfriends.

re clutter, I have got rid of everything I can get rid of but I do like reading physical books and I like having paper files for banking. Boring but I really do.

I actually think a lot more people would enjoy living alone if they tried it but they seem to dread it. When I first did it, I was advised against it - it was only a rental! - because people seemed to think that living alone involved not being sociable. In reality, the great thing is you can have as much sociability as you want - but also the days you need to come home from work and not talk to anyone, you can.

My flat has served as a sanctuary for more than one person looking for a break from partners and kids as well!

I lived alone from uni until I met DP five years ago. I loved doing my own thing in my own place! We kind of half lived together until this year, and now officially live together in a lovely house. The trick, for me, is having a big kitchen and a spare room - it's a bit of a man cave in the spare room, with all the technology and DP's clutter, and quite often he sits in there doing stuff on the laptop after dinner. I'm currently sat in the living room with a load of candles burning watching Corrie on catchup while he does football stuff on a spreadsheet (!) next door. Best of both, innit?

I'd love a minimalist existence. With sea or mountain views! Holiday apartment living is fab, I'm sure a lot of that is to do with being devoid of clutter, it's so mentally freeing not to have tons of stuff around. Unfortunately dd and DH are the king and queen of toot and I like animals in the house, so I live in chaos most of the time.

I hear you, OP.

If more people were like you, all the problems on the step parenting board would just go away. Relationships might founder, but then people would just get on with their lives and possibly date on their evenings without the children.

You wouldn't get all these anguished women who have leapt into a domestic situation with some lazy man with children, who proved himself emotionally inadequate and selfish in his last relationship, and are now in a battleground of a home because the children are struggling to adjust and the man is expecting to her to manage everything.

Instead you would have a lot of calm, single adult occupancy dwellings which contain contented children half the time, and quiet contemplation the other half

Judy " Best of both, innit?"

See, I'd say no but I'd struggle to live with the Invisible, Eternally Silent, Only Ever Moves Stuff As Housework Help Man.

Oh, actually wait...

on the minimalist thing - I do want to declutter more because of lack of space, but some things mean a lot and I like to have them in view. Lots of photos are a must. My best friend travels a lot for work and I have a bunch of really silly stuff on display - tourist "souvenir" stuff that I'd never buy but it's just a running joke between us.

I also like cosiness - have to have throws and cushions on sofa (I do use them, it's not just for decor).

A single bed?

Nope.

Grownups have double beds.

I love living alone but my flat is cosy rather than minimalist.

I agree that adults need double beds.

Bridget? is that you?

My only doubt about the single bed is where the cats will sleep!
I didn't like having a double anymore. I still slept on "my" side and was conscious a man used to sleep on the other side.

No! Bridget was a SAD single!

Also having a single looks less arty but it gives me room for a dressing table!

I don't like too many cushions etc as u just have to wash them. I like hard floors as well. Anything to keep dust mites at bay!

I was like that at 34. I loved my pristine terraced house and my own company. I was calm. I was happy. I didn't think I wanted another serious relationship. Then I met my husband! Fast forward 12 years and I have a stepson, three dogs, two cats, two horses and live on a small holding in an old house we're very slowly renovating. It's a bombsite. Constant dust, hair and mud from outside. Yet I love it and wouldn't change it for anything. But I do remember my peaceful days and miss them sometimes!

Goneyroar, do you want a child of your own? I did. Just curious.

I think there's something in that, magick. It's like living together is always the goal and it's not a proper relationship if you're not. But if kids are involved, smushing a strange adult into their house is a very serious step to take and may not ever be the right thing to do for some (most?) kids. And I speak as a single mum who's always been very careful about not introducing men into my children's space.

I also think modern life is so busy and relentless, especially with 'always on' digital stuff, that probably lots of us (kids included) would benefit from a bit more peace and downtime. You don't realise how calming it is until you suddenly get some, and then it's very hard to let it go.

I've got a bloody massive bed though and frequently sleep diagonally

I did, Glittery7, but it never happened and now I'm too old. But I got to share a little boy's childhood/upbringing, so at least I had that. What made you ask?

I love my decluttered house! We are a family of 6 and it was chaos pre declutter.

Sounds absolutely amazing! if you want to swap, I'd be more than happy to

Sounds perfect. I have a husband and 3 kids and hate 'stuff' with a passion. Well, except for my kitchen stuff. I love cooking.

There is a slight echo in the common areas, because of the lack of stuff. I don't care. They all just have to deal. None needs that much stuff.

Of course YANBU if that's what makes you happy.

Personally I would hate it. I like stuff, and people, and adventures, which invariably bring mess with them.

OP, can I come and live in your home? (You would have to move out, but that would be okay, wouldn't it?)

I have too much stuff, too many rooms, too many books, too many everything. If my wife des before me I am going to become a Trappist monk.

Are monks allowed to have cats?