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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

F'ing farting

89 replies

ReginaFelangi · 14/08/2015 10:22

I don't know whether there is anything unusual about this, but my OH of nearly 15 years' bodily functions are really starting to get to me. His toilet sessions take at least 30 minutes and a lot of noise and the smell afterwards will literally make me heave. (He needs reminding to open the window and close the bathroom door too).

He will also fart freely throughout the house. Last night he went up to bed to read and when I went up an hour later the room stank so badly I had to go and sleep in my 4 year old's bed instead. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with it and says it's just me "making a fuss". He eats healthily enough and has been this way forever (although I think it's getting worse). AIRBU for not wanting to be gassed in my own home?!

OP posts:
Goshthatsspicy · 14/08/2015 13:32

My husband has been so perfectly tamed, that if he accidentally farts in his sleep... He jumps!

Job done.

Spidermama · 14/08/2015 13:33

I honestly think some people are more capable than others of keeping it in.

TheHouseOnTheLane · 14/08/2015 13:36

YANBU OP. My DH had similar. I insisted he work on the causes and freaked out when he did it thoughtlessly. Ie in the room or bed!

I felt it was because he ate too quickly.gulping air is a major cause. Sure enough, slowing down when he ate has really, really helped.

Whimsicalgardener · 14/08/2015 13:40

I'm with you Op.
Disrespectful, dirty and deeply off-putting - sitting in a stench filled room with poo particles for oxygen.

Why can't some people control their sphincter (barring medical bowel problems)?

IhateMagic · 14/08/2015 13:42

I do thank my pelvic floor now I've had kids. Years of holding in farts has made it like iron!

Sunbeam18 · 14/08/2015 14:00

Yuck, that's disgusting. I bet you can hold it in at work or in company that he respects. That sort of disrespect makes me really angry.
Not sure how anyone could find it funny

Sunbeam18 · 14/08/2015 14:00

He not you!

partialderivative · 14/08/2015 14:17

When I was a young teenage boy I used to take huge pride in my ability to produce a massive fart during every school assembly. (Boys school)

Given that pupils stood rather than sat for these affairs, a huge gap would soon appear in the hall. As I recall, they weren't stinky, just really loud.

Happy days

puzzledbyadream · 14/08/2015 14:38

I have IBS and find it difficult to control when I fart. I am very, very embarrassed by this. I never heard my ex fart and he was always disgusted if he heard me. And that's one of the reasons he's my ex.

You're all making me feel very insecure. For goodness sake, it's a natural bodily function.

Goshthatsspicy · 14/08/2015 15:08

puzzled don't be silly Flowers
This (although wind connected) is a totally different situation.
I'm sure you didn't farts all over your partner "for a laugh" did you?

Sunbeam18 · 14/08/2015 15:25

Exactly. A medical condition is totally different.

MummaV · 14/08/2015 15:52

Both DH and I will happily fart in each other's company without any issues. If its particularly loud or smelly we will apologise or laugh together (because we are very childish). It's our home and we should both feel comfortable enough to release our gases in our own home!

DH produces very smelly farts after eating broccoli however usually within about a minute the smell has gone.

Recently however his bowel issues have become ridiculous, constant gas and very (TMI) noisy splurty toilet time. Turns out he has coeliac disease.

If the smell is really offensive and lingering and he is spending so much time in the toilet I would say he needs to see a GP to rule out any bowel issues. If there are no issues and he knows how you feel about his gas releases he is being very inconsiderate.

BlueberryWafer · 14/08/2015 16:58

Holding in farts can give you bad stomach ache, to leave the room every time you need to fart would be massively inconvenient. I often need to fart while breastfeeding, what do you want me to do? Hold it in and get belly ache or put my baby down, leave the room to fart then come back in to finish breastfeeding? No thank you! I'd rather just let it rip then giggle about it with DP.

It would be utterly ridiculous to race somebody because they fart a lot and have smelly shit!

BlueberryWafer · 14/08/2015 17:03

To leave someone, obviously not race them.

Whatthefucknameisntalreadytake · 14/08/2015 19:02

I've been told off a fair bit my partner because I fart a lot. I can't get that apologetic about it, I'm a farty person there's not a great deal I can do about it. He farts less than me but they smell much worse so I think we're even.

Whatisaweekend · 14/08/2015 19:04

My dh farts constantly. The smell isnt too bad (occasionally it makes the wallpaper peel off but thats quite rare). What does make me a bit Hmm however is that he can clearly keep it in/silent throughout the day in his office so why I am subjected to it once he is home is beyond me. However, depending on my mood I can either be offended or struggle not to roar with laughter and thus my moral highground vanishes!

sugar21 · 14/08/2015 19:07

When you've had a exh who use to shit the bed because he was out of his brains on booze a fart doesn't seem too bad

MrsReiver · 14/08/2015 19:10

Farts are a source of much laughter in our house, my DH is like yours Helena - in fact worse as he is 35 Shock so definitely old enough to know better.

I can't complain though as I am just as bad. The other night, DH came to bed after me and found me snoring on his side of the bed. Apparently I let rip at full volume and with a bouquet that would strip pain from the walls, and rolled happily back to my own side of the bed.

I'm rather proud of myself.

squoosh · 14/08/2015 19:27

I'm so happy he's your ex sugar!

Dollybird99 · 14/08/2015 20:21

I'm afraid I also suffer with terrible wind....its a family thing. If I had to leave the room to fart i'd never be in the room!

I farted so loud in bed one night that it woke up DH who thought we had a burglar..!! He literally woke up with a start and started looking round the room in panic......much mirth and hilarity ensued!!

I have to put up with his bad habits though so its a two way street!

bigbumtheory · 14/08/2015 20:22

Foul smelling farts and straining...sounds like constipation and difficulty to me. He should take movicol and use fiber gel.

Did he not even open a window?

MrsReiver · 14/08/2015 20:24

As someone who lives in a house with two movicol takers - it can make the wind worse, but at least you get plenty of notice in the form of a delightful stomach gurgle right before the main event.

Original poster
ReginaFelangi · 14/08/2015 20:25

He will open the bathroom window when I force him to. He refused to last night, hence me sleeping in with a DC.

OP posts:
sugar21 · 14/08/2015 20:30

Me too squoosh I still wake up in the mornings sniffing Hmm

sykadelic · 14/08/2015 20:32

I'm with the side of it being something he SHOULD be able to fix/control.

My DH and I don't pass wind on purpose in front of each other, respect means leaving the room. If it happens, it happens, but it's not something to laugh or giggle about, it's a bodily function, not a joke, and if you're laughing about it you realise it IS something disgusting and you find it humorous.

If you don't have enough time to leave the room or aren't able to hold it in, then you have a medical issue. A medical issue is different. I would still expect an "excuse me" though and I would expect they're under medical care / dietary assistance.

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