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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..to ask Partner to run after work so I get inone lay in this week??

50 replies

patch123 · 13/08/2015 21:52

I work in a school so am off for the 6 wk holiday with my boys. My children sleep in until 8.30am but every morning this week my partner gets up at 6.30 to run before work. He would normally run after work. Am I being unreasonable to ask him to do it after work for one day so I can lay in until the boys get up?? I normally juggle work, the house and children so a break is welcome (i do realsie I am lucky working in a school). So AIBU?

OP posts:
Runningupthathill82 · 13/08/2015 21:54

Why can't you lie in til the children get up anyway? Surely your DH getting up early doesn't stop you staying in bed?

CharleyDavidson · 13/08/2015 21:57

Just tell him to get up quietly. My DH does early shifts, is not the lightest on his feet (has a prosthetic leg to get on in the morning too) and still manages to not wake me when he gets up in the morning at 5 every morning.

Or can you just roll over and go back to sleep when he's gone (which is the more annoying of the two options.)

What is his reason for running in the mornings this week?

MaximiseProductivity · 13/08/2015 22:11

I'm off with Dc who sleep until noon given the chance but DH is leaving for work at 6:30. Not that I'd know that if it wasn't for the empty bed when I rouse myself around 7:30. Why is he waking you?

Personally, if I were him I wouldn't want to be running in the short time I get to spend with my Dc, if I could do it before they were up and I wouldn't want to sacrifice family time for the sake of an undisturbed lie in either

Runningupthathill82 · 13/08/2015 22:41

I'd love to run in a morning if I could. Far easier at that time of day. And better for your DH if he can do it while the children are still asleep, so he gets to see them after work instead.
I think YAB very U, if your only problem with him running is the fact that he wakes you. Half 6 isn't that early, not like 4am or something - and you can go back to sleep!

Six weeks of lying in bed til half 8 sounds like bliss. I'd just let your husband get on with what he wants to do, and enjoy your "me" time in a morning.

GarminGirl · 14/08/2015 00:42

God, yabu! It's his choice, he's not hurting anyone

ShadowStar · 14/08/2015 01:16

Is he waking you when he wakes up early? Making lots of noise, jostling you when he gets out of bed etc?

It's unreasonable of him to wake you unnecessarily, but otherwise there's nothing unreasonable about having a run before work.

AcrossthePond55 · 14/08/2015 01:42

We're retired and DH still gets up at the butt-crack of dawn! But he's learnt to be (relatively) quiet and I've learnt to roll over and go back to sleep.

If it's a 'space and noise' issue, have him put his running things in another room to change into so all he has to do when he gets up is creep out of the bedroom and close the door.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 14/08/2015 01:55

Why does him going for a run prevent you from sleeping until 8.30am?

MyLovelyFriend2015 · 14/08/2015 02:20

If he can get up and out without disturbing you/dcs then there's no problem

If not then he either doesn't do it, or learns to be quiet

Bubblesinthesummer · 14/08/2015 02:45

God, yabu! It's his choice, he's not hurting anyone

^ this

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2015 02:48

DH likes to work out and fits everything in so he's home at a reasonable time. However, he gets everything ready the day before so when he gets up before 6am Shock I can roll over.

MokunMokun · 14/08/2015 03:08

I cannot believe Running is suggesting you are being unreasonable wanting a lie in until 8.30am sometimes. Seriously, get up and enjoy the me time? The OP doesn't want me time she wants sleep!

He shouldn't be waking you at 6.30am. Why is he doing that? Or are you just a light sleeper?

Itsthevibe · 14/08/2015 03:15

Why is she unreasonable? It's ONE day she is asking. One.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/08/2015 05:19

SIBU because he isn't asking her to go, he isn't saying she has to be up with the kids every morning at 5am. He's just going for a run.

Unless there is going to be some enormous drip feed about him shaking her awake and shouting at her all he is doing is running.

nooka · 14/08/2015 05:32

Given that the OP is complaining that she doesn't get to sleep in (until 8.30, so not that much really) becasue of her dh's decision to run in the mornings during the school holidays I'd say she is affected/being hurt by his actions. He is obviously waking her up. If he can't get ready for his run without waking her up then asking him to change back to after work one day a week doesn't seem unreasonable.

Half six is very early if you can otherwise sleep until 8.30!

Itsthevibe · 14/08/2015 07:07

I get woken when my husband gets up before me. She isn't unreasonable. It's one day. One! What is unreasonable about asking for one day? Christ.

Binkybix · 14/08/2015 07:41

You are being completely reasonable. Some people are light sleepers and struggle to get back to sleep.

Runningupthathill82 · 14/08/2015 07:45

Mokun - did you even read what I said?! I didn't say she was unreasonable wanting to sleep, I pointed out that she has six weeks of lie ins and her husband being up earlier doesn't affect that!

I also said that if she's awake she can lounge in bed til half 8 or, otherwise, she can go back to sleep.

I tell you what, if I was working full time and wanted to run before work - while my partner had a big long holiday - I'd be pissed off if they tried complaining that I was waking them up in the morning. When, even if they did wake, they didn't even have to get up!

AuntyMag10 · 14/08/2015 07:48

Yabu, you have 6 weeks to catch up on your sleep. He's working ft and trying to fit it in so evenings are probably left for family time. Don't be selfish.

whois · 14/08/2015 07:54

If he is waking you up by being loud, slamming doors, searching through cupboards, in and out of the bathroom trying to force a poo out etc then yes, he is being U and you should be able to ask for one day off. Or ask him to be a nice human being and be more considerate with the noise and faff levels.

If he has l his things prepared the night before and is quiet like a mouse, you just can't sleep after he goes then I think you're being a bit U.

LumpySpaceCow · 14/08/2015 08:15

My DH runs every weekday morning at 6am and don't even notice he has gone!
YANBU if he's waking you up when you could stay asleep another couple of hours!

Original poster
patch123 · 14/08/2015 08:40

I am the sort of sleeper who once woken can't get back to sleep. He isn't doing it to the see the dc more, he's doing it so he has a gap before he does a long run on Sat. Think my point was the thought behind it... not once did he even think about it for ONE day but as it happened because he decided he was too tired this morning he didn't run so thst is to do with control and totally hypocritical. He was furious when I asked if he would mind compromising but then when it was his idea he stayed in bed until quarter to eight. I know those who think I abu will say that I got more sleep which is true but slightly miffed that the thing I was shot down for was titally fine when HE decided it.

OP posts:
Anomaly · 14/08/2015 08:44

This would annoy me a lot. I bet the OP's DH doesn't get up at 6.30 on his holidays. Its her holiday too and expecting a lie in until 8.30 once a week is not much to ask. Not all of us can just get back to sleep.

Timetodrive · 14/08/2015 08:49

I prefer a morning run but even if I didn't I can not lie in after 7 so I would still need to get up with or without a run.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/08/2015 08:52

So it has been just this week that he's doing an early morning run?

Otherwise he's still been doing an evening run since you finished for the summer, have I got that right?

I think you've been unreasonable to ask, after his long run he'll go back to an evening run, it's no biggie.

I am an early riser I admit and am also off for the summer.