Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To Give Friend a Nudge For the Money She Owes Me

36 replies

laffymeal · 13/08/2015 17:23

At the end of June we were in USA on holiday, before we left a good friend asked if we could buy some designer gear for her and her family. We took note of everything they wanted, bought it and brought it back. They were over the moon with it, loved everything. I said "the receipts are in the bags, add it up and change into sterling". She texted me for my bank account details and I texted her straight back saying "no hurry for the money, here are my details". Since then...nothing. We are now looking at 6 weeks and she hasn't transferred any money into my account. It's roughly £140.

I get that it was my fault for saying "no hurry for the money" but does anyone else think 6 weeks (2 pay dates) is a bit much?

Would I be U if at the end of this month I gently nudged her with a little text saying "my head is like a sieve these days! did I ever give you my bank details?" or something like that?

Advice welcome!

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 13/08/2015 17:25

Do it now!

Then she has the polite lie get out of 'oh god, I totally forgot/lost them, please send them again'

Totality22 · 13/08/2015 17:27

Be direct. Send a quick text and just say you need money back.

I personally think it's bloody cheeky as it wasn't just a loan, you actually went shopping for this person whilst on your holiday..I'd have had the money waiting for you had you done that for me.

misskatamari · 13/08/2015 17:28

I would just message and ask for her to get it sent over. She's probably just forgotten and will hopefully get it done asap

CarlaJones · 13/08/2015 17:30

She's probably forgotten, so yes I'd do the "Did I ever give you my bank details?"

MakeItRain · 13/08/2015 17:31

I would be a bit more direct than that. I would text something like "could you put that £140 in ASAP as I need it thanks. Hope you're enjoying the clothes." She knows full well you gave her your bank details!

squoosh · 13/08/2015 17:32

'Hi Jane, Could you transfer that money to my account as soon as you get a chance. Need it for the weekend. x'

winterinmadeira · 13/08/2015 17:32

I'd message and be more direct 'my credit card bill has arrived and I need to pay it. Can you please send the money for x'. Thanks'

FarelyKnuts · 13/08/2015 17:39

Don't do the "oh can't remember if I have you my bank details" shtick.
Be direct! You know you didn't forget.
"Hi friend, did you forget to transfer that money over, I don't see it in my account?"

Original poster

laffymeal · 13/08/2015 17:41

Cheers everyone, just wanted to ensure I wasn't being too harsh

OP posts:

SuperFlyHigh · 13/08/2015 18:17

Ask ASAP give bank details if need be.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 13/08/2015 18:19

Don't be vague about it. Just ask, politely, if she can please transfer that money ASAP.

PingpongDingDong · 13/08/2015 18:35

Not harsh at all, definitely say something. Hopefully she just forgot.

PLUtoPlanet · 13/08/2015 18:44

Don't be apologetic and self-deprecating! From what you say, they askedyou to do this: you didn't push your clothes "scouting" on them!

ilovechristmas1 · 13/08/2015 18:45

my friend regularly gets me 5 pouches of baccy every 6wks (approx £45) i always give her the money beforehand

i would not expect her to shell out for me,maybe if she asks again get the money before

LavenderRain · 13/08/2015 19:05

I would txt her now and ask directly for the money. She may have genuinely forgotten or she may be hoping you will forget

Don't pussyfoot around, straight in with it, good luck!

CrystalCove · 13/08/2015 19:08

She owes you £140 and hasnt given it back to you and you wondered if you were "too harsh" asking for it back? Dont get that.

Roussette · 13/08/2015 19:23

A very good gf of mine is a bit forgetful at paying back money (there is something we do that involves me shelling out and she pays me back, and not a small sum) and I've found that leaving it longer than a week or two is not a good idea because she honestly thinks she has paid it!

Then I feel really awkward saying no you haven't paid me, then there is a to and fro with me having to say check your bank account! She is not deliberately doing this, but once I left it a month or two and it was difficult. I wouldn't text, I would ring.

Original poster

laffymeal · 13/08/2015 19:29

Hiya lavender, or should I say "fuck off" lol. Rousette, that's pretty much the pickle I'm in.

OP posts:

LuckyBitches · 14/08/2015 10:48

This sort of thing is so tricky! I'm in the 'be direct' camp. Just ask for it back, simply "please can you send the £140 you owe me?", once she does it don't mention it again. I'm a hypocrite of course, I'd probably embroider the request and then hate myself for it!

hellsbellsmelons · 14/08/2015 10:57

I honestly don't see what is 'tricky' about it.
It's simple.
Remind her and tell her you need the money.
It really is very simple.

Hi there. I know I said no rush but it's 6 weeks now and I do need that money. I've worked it out to be £140. Let me know if you want me to re-send you my bank details. Have a good weekend and we'll catch up soon.

Tick - done!

squoosh · 14/08/2015 11:01

Where's the pickle?

Just ask for your money!

rookiemere · 14/08/2015 11:02

I'd go with being direct. " Could you send me the £140 for the clothes please, here's the bank details in case you've not got them." Or hellsbells is good too.

Then I'd resolve to never put myself out financially for her ever again. It's probably not deliberate, but I'd be mortified if I owed that money to a good friend because I'd forgotten to pay her.

RandomFriend · 14/08/2015 11:14

omg, this thread reminded me that I have to pay a friend for an expense that owed. I've just texted her asking for bank details or whether she would prefer me to bring her cash at the weekend.

mysteryfairy · 14/08/2015 12:39

Definitely follow up - what is she has paid but one of you made a mistake keying the bank details? You need to find out what has happened!

Hezaire · 14/08/2015 12:48

I agree probs best to be direct but if it was me I'd be the one saying 'did I give you my bank details?'

Flip

1 2