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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how old were you dc when you first went out out?

60 replies

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 13/08/2015 09:05

Annual night out is coming up and I've been called precious for not being sure if I'm going or not. I'll try and keep this short.
I go out (drinks,club/dancing)max 3 times a year. This is the only time this group of friends can get together, I've been organising for years and some have to book it off work a year in advance,we be local. Dd is ebf and will be nearly 6weeks old. I haven't bounced back. Dp will look after dcs. And will have to give formula to the baby, im worried if that will affect latch and how long will i be unable to feed for after drinking.
So how old were your babies/dc when you first went out? Do I need to get a grip and just Go?
failed at keeping it short

OP posts:

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 13/08/2015 09:09

I went out when DS was 8 weeks. But only for two hours (went out for a meal as my sort of hen night) and expressed.

I wouldn't of gone out for any longer and I wouldn't of gone if I wasn't comfortable. Honestly, if you're this stressed out about it I wouldn't go. You'll be feeling rubbish all night and its not worth the stress

Spilose · 13/08/2015 09:09

About 3 weeks old. He was in the very capable hands of my in laws and I was grateful for the break!

Could you express milk?

Writerwannabe83 · 13/08/2015 09:10

My DS was 9 months old and I went to a Christmas Party for 3 hours

Total party girl!!!!

When DS was 12 months me and DH went out to celebrate our wedding anniversary but again, we were only out for a few hours.

There is no way I would have left my EBF baby at 6 weeks. I found it hard enough at 9 months.

If you don't want to go, then don't. Annual nights out come along every year, but the time in which you have a very young baby is very short.

Be 'precious' and stay in - you can go to the party next year

LocatingLocatingLocating · 13/08/2015 09:12

First night out at 6 weeks, but only for a meal with friends 10 mins from home. First overnight - pfb was about 10mo, PSB was 4mo.

GoooRooo · 13/08/2015 09:13

3 weeks old, for my wedding anniversary. We were only out about 2 hours for dinner though.

Other than that we've been out twice without him since he was born and he's 3.5 now!

meglet · 13/08/2015 09:14

5 weeks for 90 mins at restaurant 10 min walk away. I even got a taxi to save time . It was the work Xmas do.

bf had already gone a bit wrong so I fed ds as much as I could and left loads of expressed milk. ds was fine with his dad, I'm not sure he even woke up.

Jengnr · 13/08/2015 09:20

Six weeks. I got slaughtered!! Baby was fine. He was ff though so easier to leave with his Dad.

SillyStuffBiting · 13/08/2015 09:22

7 weeks both times!

DorotheaHomeAlone · 13/08/2015 09:28

4 weeks. Ebf baby was fine for a couple of hours and if left expressed milk if not. Then regularly for longer stretches as she got older. First overnight at 8 months

MummyPig24 · 13/08/2015 09:29

Ds1 wasn't very old at all, maybe 8 weeks. He was formula fed though.

Dd probably about 4 months.

Ds2 4 weeks, it was our first wedding anniversary and we popped to a restaurant in the village for 2 hours. I expressed and he took it fine (first and only time!)

mijas99 · 13/08/2015 09:32

Children are almost 4 and 18 months and still haven't

They co-sleep so need us there :)

We will be trying to get the 4 year old to become more sleep independent this year, maybe go and sleep at his grandparents for the night

We tend to "go out" at lunchtime at the weekend, and with the children with us. We dont find too much need for time without them. It would be nice every now and then but its not a priority

MrsAukerman · 13/08/2015 09:32

Out out? 8.5 months.
Out but in a hurry and not drinking to excess, 3.5 months.

Bing0wings · 13/08/2015 09:34

Went to daytime wedding when Dd was about 3 months old. Left baby with grandparents. But only went cos felt obliged. Was too knackered to enjoy anything as she was such a bad sleeper. Do what is right for you, not what you are being told to do.

JustBeingJuliet · 13/08/2015 09:35

6 weeks to go to a concert that we'd bought tickets for before I knew I was pregnant! I managed to express and freeze about 20oz in the weeks before and we were gone for about 6 hours in total. He wouldn't take a bottle from me, but took it no problem for my mum.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 13/08/2015 09:37

DD was 3 weeks old and I got stupid drunk. Never again!! I was 18 and wanted to enjoy partying with my childless friends. My twins are 4 weeks old and I'm too tired to even entertain the idea of a night out right now

NotYouNaanBread · 13/08/2015 09:40

Probably about 8 - 10 weeks with number 1, 6 or so with number 2, but only for a couple of hours, not a big night out. If you're going out locally, you can pop home to breastfeed. I did that when Child 2 was maybe 8 weeks old - we went to a ball and I fed her before I went out and then came home to nurse again at 10.30pm, changed into a short dress for late night dancing (!) and went back to the ball. Home at 1am leaking wildly through dress - so glad I changed it because the long gown was green silk and the leaking would have been incredibly visible but the dancing dress was cream and you couldn't see. I don't know why I forgot to wear pads.

Anyway. I digress. It was only 10 mins in a taxi. Babysitter was v. impressed at my dedication.

Thurlow · 13/08/2015 09:41

5 weeks. For a funeral. I think I was probably indecently happy, for a funeral . Several hours at the funeral, went back to my parents and saw her, then went out again for a few hours in the evening.

First night away, leaving her with DP, she was 3mo.

However DD was ff so it was much easier.

I'm all for mums going out and getting their social life/headspace back as soon as they want to - but there is no point going out of you're just going to be worried about it.

Maybe say you'll come out at the start, hold off on the drinks until your DH has told you she's happily had a feed from a bottle and settled a bit, and then you can relax and have a drink? Then if she really won't settle at all, at least you've been out for a while and seen your friends for a bit?

muminhants1 · 13/08/2015 09:46

5 weeks old, DH and I went to watch a James Bond film and left DS with a close friend. He slept the whole time!

Oh and at 3 weeks old I left him with my mum while I went to lunch with work colleagues as it was close to Christmas.

But both times was for 2-3 hours.

ShipShapeAhoy · 13/08/2015 09:53

I think dd was 9 months and I was out for about 5 hours. She will not take a bottle though so when she was younger I couldn't really have left her. I wouldn't have attempted to leave her at 6 weeks (though partly because I was still sore).

If you feel up to it and she will take a bottle then I don't see the harm, but it doesn't sound like you want to.

Btw do people really use 'precious' in that way irl? I see it so much on here but never heard anyone say it.

Original poster

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 13/08/2015 09:55

I've been trying to express but no joy so it'll have to be formula. With ds dp and I went for a meal for my birthday at four months, I cried the whole time and literally ran the mile home because the taxi was taking too long. I was able to express with him and he was already taking the occasional night time formula though if I couldn't express enough(nightmare sleeper) I think I may go and sneak off early after an hour two of the mum's going left their babies at two weeks(not judging, their entitled to have fun), but both ff so I don't think they quite "get"why I'm worrying.

OP posts:

minipie · 13/08/2015 09:56

Out in between feeds - quite early, can't remember but a few weeks

Out where I would miss a breastfeed - much longer, and I only went a short distance as she isn't keen on the bottle.

OP will your baby definitely accept a bottle? this makes a big difference.

StrangeGlue · 13/08/2015 10:00

Hi op, if you're going to be worried and stressing about feeding and maybe effecting latch etc I can't see it's worth it. Your friends should be more understanding! Your baby is only a few weeks old!

NotEnoughTime · 13/08/2015 10:03

My first DC was 5 months old when I first went "out out" It was my 30th birthday so DH and I went for a meal at a local restaurant. We had no starter or pudding so I guess we were back home within the hour!

With my second DC it was approx. 7 months after he was born as it was Christmas-again it was for a very speedy supper

My only advice to you is do what YOU want to do and don't be made to feel bad by other people

Bin85 · 13/08/2015 10:04

6 months
To a work colleagues leaving do with DH
DS2 was the result!!

Original poster

Ahardmanisgoodtofind · 13/08/2015 10:06

Precious wasn't the word used, I think "pathetic"was one and worry wart was the other. Precious sounds less offensive
Im literally ten minute walk from home so popping back to feed isn't a bad idea notyou
I do want to go, a couple of the people travel up for this, it's a sort of reunion, so I'll only get this chance to see them. Are there any guidelines on how long between alcohol and breastfeeding?

OP posts:

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