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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Household electoral roll form addressed only to DH

58 replies

soloula · 10/08/2015 16:28

AIBU to feel more than a bit peeved that an electoral registration form for our home from the council was addressed solely to DH - presumably as the man of the house. It's 2015 for fuck's sake. We have a joint mortgage but apparently it's the man's job to let the council know the details of those in the household who are eligible to vote. What if DH worked away or was really bad at keeping up with paperwork and as I don't open his mail would I be excluded as he hadn't replied on my behalf in time? Surely it should be addressed to both householders (as our council tax letters are) or we both get one separately?

OP posts:
KidLorneRoll · 10/08/2015 17:43

Oh ffs. Find something important to eorry about.

DawnOfTheDoggers · 10/08/2015 17:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazykat · 10/08/2015 18:09

It can't be addressed to the oldest or alphabetical. Ours came addressed to me and dh is older and is first alphabetically.

I filled the first one out and signed it when we moved in so it must be sent to whoever signed the last one.

ScouseQueen · 10/08/2015 18:26

Are we only allowed to complain about life or death matters now? Hmm Better shut down Mumsnet then!

The OP didn't say it was the most important event ever, just that it annoyed her. Doesn't mean there aren't bigger issues but we can mention smaller ones too. And yes, small it quite likely is set up to go to the man on the address list. Lots of things were in past years. Computers don't usually send things to a randomly chosen name.

AuntyMag10 · 10/08/2015 18:30

Oh how disappointing no sexism here op.

specialsubject · 10/08/2015 18:33

ours is addressed to the occupier, but my name is first on the list because my surname comes first in the alphabet. I am younger than himself BTW.

sorry to disappoint you, but I think this is not a case of 'everyday sexism' but of alphabetical order.

BoneyBackJefferson · 10/08/2015 18:36

despite being male and having filled the last one in, mine was address to "the occupier".

RedCurlyTots · 10/08/2015 18:39

Ours is usually just addressed to me, this time it was addressed to "The Occupier".

asmallandnoisymonkey · 10/08/2015 18:41

I doubt very much that that is the case now Scouse. Honestly - stop trying to find sexism in everything.

Vatersay · 10/08/2015 18:41

Ours came addressed to me. My DH is first alphabetically but I have always filled the electoral form in.

asmallandnoisymonkey · 10/08/2015 18:42

Actually, same here Red - I usually fill them out, sign them and send them back with my name first.
Sometimes they're addressed to me, sometimes to my husband, and sometimes to the occupier.

scatterthenuns · 10/08/2015 18:44

Mine came to someone who doesn't live here.

Original poster
soloula · 10/08/2015 18:46

My main concern is that I'm potentially being denied my right to vote which, granted, is not a life or death matter but to me is very important. I've never missed any election in nearly 20 years of being eligible to vote. I'm annoyed that I could because of some administrative change that means that post which was once addressed to the occupier is now addressed solely to DH. I'd have been just as annoyed if it had gone to an 18 year old sibling or child or whatever. I don't like the fact that my eligibility to vote is dependent on someone else filling out a form for me and sending it in in a timely manner.

I deal with all the paperwork in the house so I've always filled in and signed previous forms (and put my name first), I'm older than DH and my name comes first alphabetically and our council tax is in joint names so I'm just a bit bemused why this has suddenly changed. I'm not looking for a big sexism crusade against my council. I just don't understand why something that's always been addressed as to the occupier now goes to one person in the household. Computers have to be programmed to do things. Its not entirely inconceivable that the computer has been set to default to the 'Mr' at the property and if that's the case then that is wrong surely?

OP posts:
FenellaFellorick · 10/08/2015 18:49

yes it would be.

but if that was the case, then it wouldn't be coming to the women here on this thread who've told you they're getting it.

I think it's more likely that it's set to default to whoever is listed first at the household.

I don't know if that's set to default to the man, if there is one

Or if many people actually fill it in that way.

ScouseQueen · 10/08/2015 18:53

Fenella But we're all getting letters from different councils, each of whom will have potentially a different system for this. You may be right about it going in some places to whoever is listed first. Still think Occupier is more efficient as then it will never be wrong!

StealthPolarBear · 10/08/2015 18:54

But if you've always done it in the past weren't you worried that men in your dhs situation were being denied their right to vote?
I'm sure outs usually comes to me. Was the occupier this time. DH is older and alphabetically first. I am prettier and my birthday comes earlier in the year. And I make a better hot chocolate :o

FenellaFellorick · 10/08/2015 18:56

ah, are they all doing it differently? I only know how mine appear to be doing it.

Although I have to say I am baffled by sending out a form that you have to complete in order for them to send out forms that everyone has to complete.

Seems needlessly complicated to me.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 10/08/2015 18:56

Ours was to The Occupier.

I had to add 16 year old DS which I wasn't expecting yet.,

Peshwari · 10/08/2015 19:01

I thought the householder electoral form was a thing of the past and it was all individual voter registration now?

FenellaFellorick · 10/08/2015 19:12

yes.

You get a form to fill in so that they can then send a form to everyone that you've listed as living at the house.

Original poster
soloula · 10/08/2015 19:14

Stealth it never bothered me before as it was always addressed to the occupier. I suppose it's just an outdated system that needs changing as in this day and age there are surely better ways of working this than relying on one person in the house (whoever opens it first probably, in the case of when it's addressed to the occupier) to be responsible for ensuring everyone else is registered to vote - like individual voter registration as Peshwari has mentioned?

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 10/08/2015 19:15

Ooh me and my dh get one each.

Peshwari · 10/08/2015 19:26

We've definitely not got household forms this year

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Individual_Electoral_Registration

ForalltheSaints · 10/08/2015 19:28

Why on earth you need to have a form sent to you in the post? Surely whoever pays the council tax bill should have the option to be paperless?

EdithWeston · 10/08/2015 19:33

When we last got one (didn't it computerise last year?) it was adults in alphabetic order. So my name before DH's.

So it looks as if different councils do it differently.