to ask if you snog in front of your DC?
AlmondAmy · 09/08/2015 23:12
I'm not sure if I'm being a prude here so would appreciate your perspectives. DP is very affectionate - too affectionate IMO. He can't pass me without touching or kissing me, every time the car stops he wants a kiss etc. Obviously the DC are in the back of the car and I don't like the idea of snogging in front of them. Being asked why daddy sticks his tongue in my mouth/squeezes my bum/looks down my top etc makes me cringe. DP thinks it's good for the kids 'to see we love each other'
Who is BU?
WorraLiberty · 09/08/2015 23:15
Groping someone who feels uncomfortable with it, is never good. Just because he's your DP, that doesn't give him the right to do it whenever/wherever he wants - disregarding your feelings.
We cuddle in front of the kids/hold hands/give each other a peck on the lips.
But full on snogging isn't pleasant for anyone to watch. It's really not a spectator sport, so no we don't do it in front of the kids.
And if we did, they'd soon put us in our place!
ouryve · 09/08/2015 23:17
We'll have a hug, a kiss and a brief squeeze, but usually sneaked in the kitchen while the boys are watching TV.
Besides, if they see us hugging, they want to join in.
Your DP needs to be more discreet, though. There is a middle ground to be had of being affectionate without acting like a horny teenager in front of the kids.
SerialBox · 09/08/2015 23:21
I wouldn't be comfortable with that either. I think it's important to respect boundaries and in this case your DP should respect yours and your children.
What child really wants to see their parents snogging?! It's unnecessary and personally I would have found it nauseating as a child. Even now at 26 it would make me uncomfortable.
Have you told him how you feel?
ThinkFirst · 09/08/2015 23:36
We kiss when one of us goes out or comes home, we hold hands, snuggle on sofa etc in front of DC. We don't grope each other and DH doesn't stare down my top in front of them though.
Tell your DP the only thing he's showing your DC is that he doesn't respect your boundaries.
foxmitten · 09/08/2015 23:43
I do agree that showing affection is important for children to see. My ds is not my dh's biologically, his father and I weren't affectionate with one another and ds wasn't really an affectionate child. When dh came into ds' life he suddenly started hugging and saying he loves people, because he saw dh and I doing it. Now he's 11 and a very cuddly, loving boy. He also seems more secure in his relationship with us.
Snogging and groping are too far though, they don't need to see that. We hold hands, cuddle and kiss and that is quite enough imo.
AlmondAmy · 09/08/2015 23:44
No, I don't like it. I feel like he's always on the prowl for physical contact. Today I finally managed to distract clingy baby DD so I could put her down and go to the loo and DP practically ran in from the garden gesturing that he wanted a cuddle. I feel like I avoid eye contact otherwise he'll kiss me or tell me he loves me. If I don't respond he keeps repeating 'i do' until I say I love him too.
I think he's always done it but his comments are really starting to get to me, too. Today, for example, DD (3) asked which slice of cake he'd like and he replied 'a slice of your mum' while winking at me...!
lostinikea · 09/08/2015 23:51
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
beanandspud · 09/08/2015 23:59
Yes, I absolutely think it's good for DC to see their parents showing affection for each other.
And by affection I mean a quick kiss, holding hands, a hug or a cuddle.
Anything sexual isn't appropriate. Your DP sounds like he needs to control himself and save his 'advances' for when the DC aren't around.
AlmondAmy · 10/08/2015 00:03
I feel 'safe' at the moment as I'm sleeping downstairs with teething baby but am actually dreading when she starts sleeping better. After 14 hrdays with the DC (usually singlehanded) I just want to not be touched or questioned and to MN or read for an hour or so, rather than be expected to cater to him.
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