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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is going to be the journey from hell....

86 replies

missmakesstuff · 09/08/2015 22:16

Next week we (me, dh, dd, 5 and ds 4.5 months) have to drive to the in laws. In Ireland. We booked the trip months ago, it seemed like a good idea at the time..

Ds now screams every moment he's in his car seat. He sleeps for 30 mins max at a time, which is ok during the day around the house etc, but as soon as he wakes in the car seat he screams bloody murder..

It's a 5 hr journey to Pembroke then a journey across Ireland to kerry the next day. Weve tried everything but a journey of an hour today was him sleeping for 30 mins, screaming the rest, dd moaning about the noise and me practically crying as I can't listen to him screaming without it just really getting to me. I'm the driver, dh can't. He can sit in the back, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. We're leaving 7 hours + to allow for stops at every services, he has toys, he has music flashing lights machine....it's still going to be hideous isn't it? I want to cry...

OP posts:
Original poster
missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 13:01

Thanks all for the app suggestions, I'll check ifvany of them are on android. I wonder if it might make his sleeping worse though? I think I'll try a drop of rescue remedy or teetha powders, not sure either really work but I can try!
Currently sitting here holding him whilst he sleeps, he got himself off to sleep for a total of 10 mins before waking up crying. I think the biggest problem is he is just overtired all the time! Thanks for the offer of the Badgerbalm, sorry can't scroll back to see who, it sounds very like my lavender and hops so I'll give that a go, thanks anyway, very kind.
I'd forgotten about farranfore airport! Still an hour and half, we're going to castlecove, near cahirdaniel. So beautiful there, we love it. Just hope the rain holds off! Dingle is gorgeous too, love it there. At least we're not doing the whole journey I'm one go. Had to do.that a couple years ago to get to a wedding. Overnight ferry and then drove all the next day. Dd didn't sleep a wink. It was torture.

I know she doesn't mind the car now at least, so give it 5 years and we'll be fine! Hmm

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 10/08/2015 15:26

There must be an airport less than 3 hours away. Kerry for instance.

ImperialBlether · 10/08/2015 15:36

I'd be tempted to give him Calpol in advance, to make him sleepy, but then I'd probably be arrested!

middlings · 10/08/2015 15:47

If he's that heavy and long surely he'll be safe in the from 6 mos seat! Mine are littlies (at 22 mos DD2 is 24lbs) but I'd have thought he'd be ok??

If it makes you feel any better, DD2 roared for nearly an hour on the M6 on the way to Holyhead last year. I just drove through it. My back molars were a bit shorter by the time I got to Anglesey but we all survived.

I won't tell you about the mental scars I have from the drive from Sneem to Dublin when DD1 was 13 weeks though

Are you driving straight from Rosslare to Kerry? Would you not break it up for a night and try and get some rest somewhere en route?

Fugghetaboutit · 10/08/2015 16:07

Imperial I was thinking the same or some piriton

ThreeBeanRap · 10/08/2015 16:30

missmakesstuff I have just come back from Ireland, we do the ferry too (although from Fishguard) and have a two hour drive in Ireland once we're off the ferry. We go very often to see family. We have no children but I am pregnant with our first and was dreading the long journey - we built in lots of stopping time, and got a cabin on the ferry which made a big difference as we both got a few hours sleep (we do the overnight one usually).

Both of those things should help, but I think if it was me I would explore all flight options, even if it means DH flies with the baby and you drive with DD. Then you would still have the car and could pick DH and baby up from the airport on your way and drop them on the way back. There must be somewhere closer than 3 hours that would work.

Minicaters · 10/08/2015 16:48

Three, her DH flying alone with a BF baby would also be fraught though. Remiss of him on the lactating thing.

My kids are old enough to have been given Medised as babies. Now that would have really helped... not sure if it was ever available for 4 month olds though.

Find a particular song he finds soothing when upset, and reinforce it to death before you go.

notquitehuman · 10/08/2015 16:55

It could well be the car seat. My DS didn't like laying down in his for too long, but once he got a DF seat he enjoyed the car so much more. He had a lot of issues with colic and acid reflux which meant being upright was much more comfortable. We got him a little neck pillow for long trips so that his head doesn't flop around when napping.

BertieBotts · 10/08/2015 19:47

Yes you can use RR for babies. Look on their website for instructions. I don't think you should give it neat (if nothing else it tastes awful!) - most likely you dilute it in water (cooled boiled for that age).

CheshirePanda · 10/08/2015 21:18

How about white noise on a CD /iPod. You can get free ones easily. I quite like the heavy rain ones. It might (might) be easier to get him to drift off than (over?) stimulating him with imagery. Although I grant I'm clutching at straws. Anyway it's one more thing you could have up your sleeve. Good luck.

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 11/08/2015 07:45

Imperial is considered calpol, just for a second...
Middling we are stopping the.first.night in Waterford, staying with in laws, so I've only got an hour or so to drive off the ferry. Then kerry the next day, which if we leave early we will do at our own speed, stop lots, stop for lunch etc. Or I could give ds to the in laws to take with them....Grin

We really can't afford to fly and I wouldn't want to do it on my own, not all that way. Kerry airport is closest, but I'd forgotten about it. Plus we don't have passports for them yet, dd has one that runs out this week and ds, poor mite, didn't have a name.for ages..we're just using birth certs this time, fine on the ferry but Ryanair etc need them.

I do have a cd we use for massage, might try that. I've tried tuning the radio into nothing too..

We're going to try the bigger seat today,I guess if we get him used to it calmly with music etc and a couple of short journeys it might help. It doesn't have a sunshade though, it's the only worry...but then I guess that won't be a problem in Ireland, just seen the weather..doom...this is meant to be a holiday!

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 11/08/2015 08:42

Crikey have you checked about the birth certificate thing? It very much would not be ok on the ferry to Holland!!

BitOutOfPractice · 11/08/2015 08:44

Ignore me. Just checked and you're right. Phew!

Mistigri · 11/08/2015 08:49

If he sleeps at night, I would rearrange your travel so that you drive through the late evening or night. For eg book a chain hotel near Pembroke (maybe Swansea, you'll find a Premier inn or similar there), set off at your DS's bedtime so (say) 8pm, you'll be there at midnight ish. The following day you can have a tourist day around the Pembroke area before your ferry departs.

I had a car screamer and until she was at least 3 we avoided any long, daytime trips. It did improve somewhat once she was in a forward facing seat but it was only a partial solution that extended our maximum scream-free daytime travel time from 45 mins to maybe 2 hours.

We did South of France to the UK once when she was 8 months but we did all the serious driving at night. It is impossible to drive distances safely with a screaming inconsolable baby in the car.

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 11/08/2015 08:50

Yep, I phoned before we booked to double check. It's the airlines that decide they need a passport, it's not a requirement at all for travel between Ireland/UK.
Damn sight cheaper than two new passports!

OP posts:
Original poster
missmakesstuff · 11/08/2015 08:57

Misti I've considered it...I just can't imagine what it would be like if he didn't sleep..or if dd didn't (neither are car sleepers!) plus I'd have barely any sleep because they're still going to be up at 7.30am or earlier!

Just a risk that he wouldn't and we end up with a screaming baby at 2am rather than during the day..we did a similar journey with dd, although on the night ferry and I swore never again Hmm

OP posts:
3littlerabbits · 11/08/2015 09:16

I've done roughly this journey many times (7 hours from London) with a screaming baby. Each time it was honestly horrendous. The most memorable was the time when dc1 fell asleep as we left the house - lovely! But then....traffic slowed on the M1 after about 20mins and the screaming started. I kid you not - 6.5 hours of screaming, with short breaks at service stations. No obvious reason - tried all the usual stuff. Hellish. All our long journeys involve screaming for a couple of hours at some point, although youngest is now 3 so has no excuse! My sympathies OP. You will survive, but it'll be hard...

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 11/08/2015 09:28

I know, I'm hoping that my usual pessimism will prepare me...

I am.now.considering the driving at night suggestions...travelodge in pembroke dock is only 60 quid for a family room..

I really can't see my.dd sleeping at all. But she could go.straight to bed.when we.arrived and might get 6 hours.he normally sleeps from.about 7 till midnight, which might just.cover it.

Then.again it could be 10 x worse!!

OP posts:
middlings · 11/08/2015 09:57

missmakes if you could cope with the night driving especially as you're going to family on whom you can dump who can look after the children for a little bit so you can get some shut-eye, I would really recommend that.

We leave London at 1am for the 8am Holyhead-Dublin Port boat, and then get the one that gets into Holyhead just before 7pm on the way back. The DDs are then just transferred into bed in London at about 1am. The one on the way back is fine. The one on the way there is trickier for us as we always say we'll go to bed at 8 and get a few hours sleep before the drive but inevitably end up sorting out the last few bits for the journey and don't manage it which means we arrive in Dublin wrecked. However, I can drive the 20 minutes to my parents with my eyes shut and I just fall into bed when I get there and leave the grandparents to it!

It'll be worth it when you get there though - even if you don't get weather. Such a gorgeous place for a holiday.

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 11/08/2015 10:02

Yep Middling, going to talk to dh tonight, see what he thinks. He doesn't get home till 7pm though, so we'd have an hour to eat and get on the road. It's doable though but it's a risk either way really.
Oh, and we'll definitely get serious weather, it just might not be nice weather! It's lovely there though, only reason I'm considering the journey!

OP posts:
Buttercup27 · 11/08/2015 10:03

I would try him on a short journey in the other seat. If he us happy and not screaming I would buy a new ff car seat with a lower weight limit. Our britax is from 9kg and you can get some which are lighter.

BitOutOfPractice · 11/08/2015 10:06

Yes it is! But remember it's only on that route. If you travel with stena anywhere else you'll need a passport.

Good luck op. I hope he likes the new seat and it's not too stressful

Original poster
missmakesstuff · 11/08/2015 10:11

Thanks all again, I think just having a little rant helps! Dh has lost some hearing so actually isn't able to hear some of the screaming, happily for him! It just doesn't affect him as much.
Buttercup we have an extended rear facing seat which we can try, I wouldn't want to put him ff, dd.has only just turned round at 5 but it is higher up.

OP posts:
abigamarone · 11/08/2015 10:22

I used to have to sing to one of mine to calm him in the car, many a journey would be made with me singing the same song over and over...and over. I suspect my singing was only marginally less disturbing to the ex.

3littlerabbits · 11/08/2015 12:08

Personally I couldn't do the night driving. There'd still be screaming but combined with parental exhaustion, and the next day would be a right off too. Possibly I am just a total wuss! Good luck whatever you decide. We are psyching ourselves up for this next week...

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