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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is going to be the journey from hell....

86 replies

missmakesstuff · 09/08/2015 22:16

Next week we (me, dh, dd, 5 and ds 4.5 months) have to drive to the in laws. In Ireland. We booked the trip months ago, it seemed like a good idea at the time..

Ds now screams every moment he's in his car seat. He sleeps for 30 mins max at a time, which is ok during the day around the house etc, but as soon as he wakes in the car seat he screams bloody murder..

It's a 5 hr journey to Pembroke then a journey across Ireland to kerry the next day. Weve tried everything but a journey of an hour today was him sleeping for 30 mins, screaming the rest, dd moaning about the noise and me practically crying as I can't listen to him screaming without it just really getting to me. I'm the driver, dh can't. He can sit in the back, but it doesn't seem to make a difference. We're leaving 7 hours + to allow for stops at every services, he has toys, he has music flashing lights machine....it's still going to be hideous isn't it? I want to cry...

OP posts:

StonedGalah · 10/08/2015 08:48

I agree with a pp! Dh growing boobs snd lactating isnt possible, but is him learning to drive an option? Obviously not for this trip but for future.

Original poster

missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 10:26

Thanks all for the suggestions, I'll try to answer all..

Dh never learnt, I've tried to persuade him, he did have lessons, lots of them. It's frankly ridiculous and I sometimes hate him for it..time like this obviously! Luckily he's got lots of other skills I haven't and the driving isn't a problem day to day, just long trips.
We're going somewhere where the nearest airport is at least 3 hrs away anyway, so car would have to be involved...plus were spending a week with the inlaws and then having a proper holiday a week away camping. So car is the only option. Plus it quite literally is in the middle of nowhere.
I put him in the front with me yesterday as I was on my own, it wasn't good....I was so distracted trying to keep him happy, I'd be worried.

I think we might try the other seat..he's sturdy but not sitting without support though, I don't think it's a safety thing but the amount of support it gives? He is a big boy, bigger than some 6 month olds I've seen, he's nearly 20lbs and very long. The seat does tilt back but guess.not as much as the maxi cosi.

OP posts:

Original poster

missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 10:32

This is a properly universal problem I think, so many people have said the same thing, their kids never slept in a car...it is just the worst form of torture...I dread him sleeping in a way, because I know we've only got 15-30 mins max till he's awake again...it's bad enough at home, he's just done a 20 min morning nap, but you expect them to sleep in the car, not wake up constantly and cause hell like some tiny bald timebomb....

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MrsTedCrilly · 10/08/2015 10:33

That sounds hard, I feel for you! Does he like watching tv? Not sure if he's too young to appreciate it yet, but the ipad has saved us from many a screamy journey. It just pulls him out of whatever he's upset about (once nappy, milk etc ruled out)

Original poster

missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 10:42

I was thinking I could give dh my pad, just not sure what we'd put on it? Maybe there are YouTube channels, distracting a very angry baby...
I reckon if we can do 2 hrs driving for every stop, feed, nappy, back in the car then sleep and distract distract...then repeat..we can do it!
Then I will be drinking a very big bottle of wine all to myself when we get there and dh can deal with the kids and his mother

OP posts:

MrsTedCrilly · 10/08/2015 10:59

Have a look at downloading stuff onto it beforehand so you don't have to rely on internet connection as it can be bad on motorways. Stuff like pingu, In The Night Garden and Littlebabybum are great, nice and colourful.
Either way, you will do it! And yes think of the rewarding vat of wine afterwards!

Original poster

missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 11:05

I'll be sitting in it, with two straws for moat of the holiday I think, in preparation for the journey home..the most annoying thing is that I've still an hour to do after the ferry, so it's not as if I can chuck the kids in the soft play and kick back then!
Thanks all for thevadvice, thought I'd get loads of people telling me to suck it up and let him cry...

OP posts:

MrsTedCrilly · 10/08/2015 11:19

Listening to a baby scream is very distracting which is the last thing you need on a motorway journey, so
in my opinion it's okay to bring out the big guns

saintlyjimjams · 10/08/2015 11:22

Ds1 screamed from Birmingham to Glasgow once (also on way to ireland). It was pretty hellish. We have a 2 day trip to ireland so I sympathise

hels71 · 10/08/2015 11:31

The only thing that stopped DD screaming in the car was playing Stevie Wonder Cds. Nothing else worked.......

MaxPepsi · 10/08/2015 11:39

Random suggestion as no idea if it will work or not, or if you can use them on babies?

But, would spraying a sleep mist on his car seat/clothes help at all? And smothering him in the bedtime moisturiser?

I have trouble sleeping sometimes and I use the bedtime baby bath ranges in my bath, and use the avon sleep mist on my pillows.

They knock me out for a full night.

Original poster

missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 11:42

I had considered my lavender and hops sleepy balm, maybe on the carseat itself?

Stevie wonder definitely worth a try!!

OP posts:

Original poster

missmakesstuff · 10/08/2015 11:44

The thing is, it could be so many things, there's just no way of knowing what's bothering him.

I wonder if rescue remedy can be used for babies?

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Scarydinosaurs · 10/08/2015 11:44

We got a very cheap iPad headrest holder on Amazon- it has two Velcro straps that wrap around the headrest.

Best bloody thing we ever bought.

My DD was a dream in the car, but suddenly got really pissed off with it and screamed and cried. First off we played songs, then that stopped working, so we showed videos on the iPhone. Then we cracked and used the iPad because our commute changed temporarily to being an hour each way. Hellish.

And try a different car seat- a distressed baby is one of the biggest distractions in a car. I read somewhere that it was more dangerous than driving drunk! Though I'm sure that can't be true.

MaxPepsi · 10/08/2015 11:45

Well I can't see it doing any harm.

I recently bought an anatomicals vaseline sleep rub type thing, which you rub on your temples. Again, not sure if you can use on babies but worth a try if you can. I also put it on my wrists as I sleep with my hands near my face.
I take it away with me.

RachelRagged · 10/08/2015 11:50

My youngest DS was a crier/screamer in his car seat. Car trips were a nightmare. What helped in DS case was a small (v small) drop of lavender at the top of his car seat. It worked. . Worth a try anyway.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/08/2015 11:52

My dd was exactly the same which was a rude shock after ds who fell asleep every journey after ten minutes.

Changing the car seat worked. Once she could see and sit up she was much happier.

Have you tried a mirror?

Minicaters · 10/08/2015 11:52

Re what to put on the ipad, type something like "baby light show" into youtube. He is still wee.

bonzo77 · 10/08/2015 11:53

We had a journey like this once. I sat in the back and fed DS1 the whole way. He actually had his first solids on that journey!

I'd definitely download some baby shows for him to watch, and get earphones and maybe audiobooks for DD.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/08/2015 11:54

There are videos on YouTube which are just people unwrapping stuff. I know of no child who can resist it. Although it's tedious in the extreme for adults!

eurochick · 10/08/2015 11:57

Fisher Price apps are good.

TheSilveryPussycat · 10/08/2015 11:59

The nearest airport is 3 hours away? What about Kerry Airport? Flights from Luton, and from Stansted. Or can do a double hop - first to Dublin, then onwards. (Obviously not for this time.)

Am off to Kerry myself soon (Dingle peninsula). So lovely. So remote.

CheckpointCharlie · 10/08/2015 12:00

Have you double checked his current car seat for any poky bits, could there be a bit of plastic or something digging in to him somewhere?

And I am sure you can get sleep balm for babies, I think it's called badger balm or something. I might have one somewhere that I could post!!

Fugghetaboutit · 10/08/2015 12:02

Download Baby TV app and buy an iPad car holder. Good luck!

Doje · 10/08/2015 12:03

A nursery rhymes CD has changed my life... DS was never as bad as yours as he would sleep for am hour or so, but could go no longer than half an hour awake in the car seat. The CD has really worked for us (it may drive you as batty as the crying though)

That and making sure when we stopped it was a big break, lots of food and entertainment /wearing him out.

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