AIBU to have a special outing for just DS and I?

[milkmilklemonade12]

We have 1 DC, who is DS aged 4. I really want to take him to the children's afternoon tea at Claridges (we live in London) and have it as 'our' special thing that only we do. I hoped we could do it throughout his childhood as 'our' thing and hopefully he'll join me when he's older too, as my companion. It's something I've always wanted to do before children. He's fab conversation for such a little thing, and we have a really fine time in general when we're out and about.

However, I wonder how DH might feel and whether it looks like I'm intentionally leaving him out and being mean. He's quite an inclusive person, and always books me tickets when we go to Chelsea, even though I really don't want to go.

AIBU? Am I being a bit childish and just include DH as well and forget the 'just milk and minimilk tea club'?

I think it's a lovely idea.

I've got two DSs and we do plenty as a family with DH but we also do stuff separately. DH and ds2 go to football. Me and ds2 do stuff like HP world and trips to London. Me and ds1 do things like food shows and also do trips to London. We love family outings but they also love to have one parent to themselves from time to time. There's room for variety. Especially when interests differ. I wouldn't want to go to football. That's DH and DS1s "thing". It's nice :)

Our son isn't even here yet, and my partner is planning on getting him into cricket - I will leave him to it, it's the one sport I cannot even pretend to like! I doubt my partner would mind if I found something I would like to do, just me and little boy. I personally think it's healthy to do these things, so children can see their parents as individuals, sharing their different hobbies and interest. I would tell your partner about your plans, and see what one-to-one activity would suit the two of them. That way, he's not being 'excluded', he can share his own special interests as well.

I agree that if you spoke about a DD, no-one would find it odd at all. I used to love my days out just me and my dad - we'd go to the local NT property and look at the animals and pick flowers and he'd buy me tea and cake afterwards. It didn't happen often but it was a really nice treat when he did.

I had girly days out with my mum too. I think it's important for kids to spend time with each parent individually. Not everything has to be done as a family unit all the time - I don't actually think that's healthy.

It sounds like a lovely idea to me. I don't see why your DH would be hurt as long as you enjoy other days out as a family of 3. It's not quite the same but I always take off the inset day before start of school in September and take my children out for lunch. It's become our thing that we do without my DH.

I think that it really depends on if your OH would be interested in afternoon tea also.

Often these activities just happen naturally, you don't have to try to think of something.

And if you do do it, don't get pissed off if he ever has afternoon tea with someone else in the future!

We took my DN for it and it was lovely. They did back then however ask for the dc's age and you may need to lie as it is for 5-10 yo.

Lovely idea. Might look into something like this with my 7yo. My 3yo would just create havoc at the moment!

I think this is a perfectly normal thing to do. I take my DS to plenty of events, from holidays to sushi bars, where my DH is not remotely interested to come. And then DH takes him to other things which don't interest me. For us, it is very important to have mother/father and son days.