to ask why having kids is expensive?

[HodgePodge23]

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

Fuck. How did I forget the time dd 2 microwaved a book neccessitating the involvement of the fire brigade and the repainting of my smoke damaged kitchen. And a new microwave.

Or the car window (mine) she threw a stone at which shattered said window.

Or the living room window she managed to shove her hand through.

Or her bedroom window she managed to break with a ball.

Dd 1 only ever damaged herself, dd 2 is a walking disaster area at times.

The op is thinking 'my child will never.........' and contemplating talking her husband into having a vasectomy before conceiving child number 2 :o

For all women except those who could not even manage a £13k a year minimum wage job ................

What a nasty, patronising comment, in Mumsnet talk 'do you mean to be so rude?'

No, not patronising. The point is the most relevant on the thread - that cost of shoes is as nothing to losing years and years of income or incurring years and years of childcare costs. However for women who are unable to earn the minimum wage they are in a different category and indeed in their case having children in terms of costs is indeed things like shoes - in fact you can plot a curve and for unemployable women each child means more cash for those women who are worse off and if they have one every 3 or 4 years that can work out very well.

The op is away to lie down in a darkened room

I love Kids Swap. I'll swap DT1 for a brand new IPad and DT2 for two weeks in the Maldives. Just me a my iPad preloaded with every magazine, news article and book I haven't read in the last ten years.

Red id swap mine for a galaxy bar, and a large tea.

Throw DH in for nought...

Right I came up with idea of swaping them for stuff, I'm first...ohhh we can throw Dh in too??? This get better

For all women except those who could not even manage a £13k a year minimum wage job ................

What a nasty, patronising comment, in Mumsnet talk 'do you mean to be so rude?'

Standard for red

Wellll now I did not expect all these replies. I haven't even managed to read them all. I wonder if I can stick my son back in and wait a few more years until I win the lottery.

I'll swap the kids, DH and my soul if I could get some sleep. A week would be nice. Think there'd be takers on Ebay?

Hodge - I've been known to contemplate sending mine back to Amazon for a refund, some days.

Aww, I remember these days :) I was so convinced of my own frugalness and how babies don't need to cost anything and everything is a fun little challenge.

Well, yes. Babies indeed can be perfectly cost effective if you don't listen to the hype. I reckon I could do the whole first three years on about £200 a year assuming that I could breastfeed (since I did last time, it's likely). That's including half decent car seats and a bike or scooter for the toddler, but not including lack of earnings and the hidden costs ie higher bills.

School stuff is expensive. We are abroad and there is no uniform but it's still going to cost in the region of €2-300 for all the equipment and bag this year. And even if you home ed you don't escape costs because you will want to join groups, which often charge to cover their own costs, or you spend more on petrol/buses getting around, museum entrances etc, swimming, sports/music clubs. Then materials for at home, books, kits, craft stuff, outdoor toys/equipment, paper and pens.

I find the most surprising thing is just that everything has an extra cost. If you want to go out for the day you have to pay an extra ticket for the DC, not so bad if you drive as it doesn't cost any more to have an extra passenger (though you do need car seats and a big enough car to fit them all in depending on how many you have). You can't just pick up a drink for yourself at £1.50. You have to buy one for everyone so it becomes over a fiver. You stop for lunch, and a child's lunch adds another chunk on. This is every time you do anything, it's multiplied. Even if you just go out with your partner, you have to pay for a babysitter which can double or triple the cost of a night out AND you have to be back at a certain time so it's not even as relaxing!

Then the hidden ones - you need a larger house so your rent or mortgage and council tax is higher than it would otherwise be. Your bills are higher because you're doing more at home. Your appliances (and your car) wear out faster and you have to replace or repair them more often.

People stop giving you armfuls of clothes at some point. For some reason it's really easy to get hold of second hand baby and toddler clothes and less easy after about three or four years. Probably because they just utterly destroy clothes as they get older.

Shoes. HOLY SHIT, shoes. I have begun to despise all shoe manufacturers. I think they should just have a club where you can pay monthly and get X pairs of shoes every year.

I am £1200 this year on school trips alonen.

The items you mention in your OP alone get more expensive, the older the kids get. Atm, you are still only paying for food for you and you partner, in time that cost will increase by 50% for each child you have. The price of clothes increases the older they get. School uniform and trips are v expensive, ( N/A if you are home schooling.) Presents for kids parties. Clubs. Saving for their future - e.g uni living costs if you don't want them to start their adult life hugely in debt. Water and electricity costs will go up. Presents get more expensive the older they get. Shoes. pocket money. Days out when you start paying for children make it very expensive. Holiday costs and spending money for holiday. The more children you have, obviously most of these costs increase exponentially. Just everything really.

@bertiebotts covered it better than me

This is the issue, babies cost little, stay at home - no childcare costs - it all makes sense.

But then you can find you have sporked your career and pension and have expensive teenagers you want to help into the world and it is a struggle to get back into the job market at a decent level. I went full time to give my teenagers more financial support as they fly the nest.

Best to think of the long game - if money is easy now, start saving. You have a long road & a lot of expense ahead!

Not read every response so sorry if this is repeated

Average cost of raising a child in Britain rises to £230,000 Independent (Jon Stone Thursday 22 January 2015) www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/average-cost-of-raising-a-child-in-britain-rises-to-230000-9994271.html

Childcare costs soar past the ability of minimum wage owners to afford them
www.independent.co.uk/money/spend-save/childcare-costs-soar-past-the-ability-of-minimum-wage-owners-to-afford-them-9662670.html

Why the cost of parenting has become so expensive
www.independent.co.uk/voices/why-the-cost-of-parenting-has-become-so-expensive-10286813.html

I became a SAHM 18 years ago- still not back in the job market. Teenagers need a lot of support too.

I wonder if I can stick my son back in and wait a few more years until I win the lottery.
You must have overlooked the 'No returns' clause in your discharge paperwork at the hospital.

Why would a woman say it costs nothing to stay at home! I just don't understand that point. Surely at the least she would otherwise earn £13k a year full time wage and therefore staying home costs £13k a year?

reddaisy- but that isn't money actually being spent.

Yes but you're talking about paying £200 for shoes against losing £13,000 of family income! Or in many cases the woman is back at work before the 15 hours a week free childcare kicks in and is paying for childcare at £10k a year per child. So for most couples the biggest cost of chidlren is either full time childcare or lost wages never mind a lost career which might have lasted 40 years and could be hard to get back into (and pensions as someone else mentioned above).

People are mugged off so easily. If the cost of raising a child is £230000 and the average household income is £32000 then the average family would be wiped out after 2 children. They only print articles like that so people waste their money on material objects instead of saving for the future. More fool them!