to ask why having kids is expensive?

[HodgePodge23]

What do you need to buy them apart from toys, food, clothes and a few other bits and bobs here and there? I have an 8 month old so maybe things will get more expensive with time, but I really don't understand why people say having children is expensive. What are people spending their money on?

ragworth

Even without the trainers, it's costing a small fortune to send him back to school, he has a 29' waist and 33' length trousers and size 11 feet so although I chose to get him the trainers,(he's had a crap year) without them it's still a small fortune to me.

Comma

are you willing to go on Kids Swap with me?
I beg you!

and DS2 ripped 3 pairs of trousers last year all on the knee so I went to Matalan instead of Next for his trousers this year.

This reminds me of the time I told my mother - not the epitome of a cuddly granny - that I was expecting number four. She went off at the deep end reminding me of the expense involved and how there was no excuse for an unplanned pregnancy. I airily replied that another was just marginal, I already had the clothes, toys etc. Mine were all small at the time and costs weren't too bad, the magic Mumsnet chicken easily fed all six of us twice over, a small packet of mince made a substantial shepherds pie, DS (the fourth child) happily wore his sisters' pink vests.

DS is now 14, never stops eating, his sisters aren't far behind in this, we now need two chickens (though I do manage a second meal out of this extravagance) for a roast, there is constant ferrying about using vast amounts of diesel, there's uniform and deodorant and shower gel and shampoo and so it goes on.

So HodgePodge2 enjoy your little one, and reflect back on this thread in 14 years time.

DS1 has very rarely broken anything, or at least I cannot remember anything significant.

DS2 otoh is a human shaped earthquake and leaves destruction in his wake .

DSs3 and 4 are, I'd say, average in their wear and tear of their possessions, considering they are 7 and 5.

I never buy anything designery for them (thankfully they don't care yet) and still I spent £250 on school stuff for the older 2 yesterday, clothes, bags, shoes, no frivolities at all.

"At beginning of the year ds went to school with brand new Clark's shoes.... On day one he returned wearing one shoe, at no point did he question this or look for shoe"

Christina if I didn't have kids I'd be tutting and shaking my head in disbelief.

Instead I winced in sympathy.

There is such a thing as Kids Swap!!!!!! Do you need to swap them for other kids or can you just get stuff????

I'm just thinking ... my children haven't cost us much in damage, although we deliberately buy cheap-but-sturdy so (1) stuff is less breakable and (2) if it does break the replacement isn't ruinous.

The odd mug, glass etc. A pair of shoes from too heavy play (not repeated after he was firmly told the next damage-replacement would be funded out of his pocket money).

And this week a windowpane, from a vigorous football. Sigh.

Wall scribble costs minimal amounts in magic sponges, and each of them has only done it once.

I swear I buy water bottles every month though. Where do they go?!!

The OP is so horrified she's hasnt come back

you know Wife Swap?
I'd like to copy that programme but swap kids

Comma

I honestly can not understand how a 14 year old has never in his life has tripped and ripped his jeans. or had his sleeves caught on a door handle

I would never call you a liar but I just can not believe that's possible.

I know some people are clumsier and more accident prone than others and some are simply more careful or aware of surroundings.
I guess your son is the latter.
it must be nice

DS2 kicked the ball into the upstairs window only last week. when he was little we used to joke that he has two functions "sleep" and "search & destroy"

Dh costs me more in damaged stuff than the dc!

Of course costs are variable and depends on your lifestyle and outlook on life and such, but even stripping it back to the bare minimum of consumables it still costs money, some ongoing and some short term (at one point I had all 3 children under a different specialist at the hospital. Parking costs alone were a fortune!)

The main things of course are the lack of earning or childcare depending on your choices and if you are working the loss of earning over the longer term too as you lose out of promotions and so on just for being a woman who has utilised her womb.

Sometimes I have no bloody idea where the money goes. Or the food. 3 children who often eat 5 portions of fruit a day each means we can get through 15 pieces of fruit a day. I love this time of year for the abundance of wild cherries and raspberries cutting out fruit bill!

Kid swap would be hilarious

I'm going for one that has two shoes and doesn't try to breath through his ears

Well, he hates and detests football, doesn't much ride a bike. So never ripped clothes or scuffed shoes. Is very, very careful with stuff -the opposite of dyspraxic generally - I don't think he's once needed a plaster!

And he didn't have expensive things like gadgets until about age 12, so absolutely no chance of breaking anything when small. He only really had Lego, books, other building things, garden toys and craft stuff. None of that is breakable.

No, i'm not lying about this at all.

He does cost a small fortune in books and school fees, though! Can't win them all.

Comma

I believe what you are saying, as I said I'd never call you a liar!
it's just that are lives are so different I'm in awe or something!

you kno, when my sister and I were kids we'd go to the same birthday party. I'd come back as I left, pristine clothes, perhaps a smudge of cake someone else dropped on my clothes.
my sister? chocolate cake behind her ears, one sock up, one sock down, maybe a ripped of button that got caught in something, her hair all over the place - if she hadn't been 10 but an adult you'd think she'd just had a a roll in a haystack!
and it wasn't that I just sat there, not having fun!

It's an interesting phenomenon.

My ds is the same, goes to school immaculate and comes home looking as if he has been down the mines

It is, and just goes to show that kids are as different from each other as adults are. There's no truth to "all boys are like this " or "all teens are like that!"

We don't do designer shoes or clothes, either, or expensive holidays, so they don't cost much, but they do cost something! We budget £30 PM for ds's clothes including expensive uniform and school shoes etc.

He probably costs £120 a month to feed.

No hobbies that cost anything. But did have private swimming lessons for a few years.

State primary, private secondary. Not been on any trips other than curriculum day trips costing about £20.

The biggest cost by far, as stated a million times over upthread, is childcare or lost income.

The other really big expenses like school fees, music or other v costly hobbies and foreign holidays are all optional.

I swear I buy water bottles every month though. Where do they go?!!

OMG Yes!!!

our nursery fees are more than the mortgage, football, swimming, wrap around care, shoes, train tickets for us to take both children to hospital appointments easily £80 per month, food, uniforms, presents for childrens parties usually one party a week, I could continue, they are worth every penny though..

And of course if you have a teenage dd money seems to vanish even faster. The amount of stuff that girl goes through! (And yes she has a weekend job).
The boys just had this nasty habit of bloody growing! And needing fuel for said growing.

For all women except those who could not even manage a £13k a year minimum wage job, the biggest loss is either their income over many years or else full time childcare costs which in London for 3 under 5 will be £30k a year for at least 5 - 7 years.

Water bottle and swimming goggles constantly mysteriously disappear.

One month I realised I was paying £600 per term on extra curricular activities.

And then there are the things small kids do for their own entertainment, like microwave your car keys and hide your phone in the washing machine, which have expensive consequences.

And then there are the unseen things you have such as life insurance. If I had no DC I wouldn't bother with the huge amount I pay out for that each month.

And birthday parties. I know they're not essential, but it's nice to create happy memories. Even a simple, well planned party can cost quite a bit.

zing- OK just back. My kids are 18 and 15 years old. You suggest that is important?

Dd 1 is 17 and I pay her mobile phone (25 a month), bus ticket (60 a month) and obviously food. On top of that we drive her to and from her part time job and to friends, parties and we get the 1am call asking for a lift home on occasion. She's in 6th form and buys all her own clothes and shoes now although I buy stuff if I see something she would like or needs. Prior to that her uniform was £360 including shoes and sports kit. And then there's her activities which are a total of £80 a term plus uniform for them and trips (add on another £300 a year).

Dd 2 is 9 and does swimming (70 a term) and another activity (60,a term) plus trips and uniform (200 a year). School uniform, trips, parties all add up to another few hundred a year.

We take them out too plus their birthdays, Xmas.

Shoes are £40 plus each time, ditto trainers. We live near the beach and they kayak and bodyboard so wetsuits and wet shoes are essential.

The costs are never ending. I've probably missed out loads but you get so used to just paying out all the time you tend to forget.

Where is the OP?