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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it tedious that vegetarians never reciprocate the favour

327 replies

Hermi0ne · 08/08/2015 12:26

Now, I´m not mightily peed off at this, and I really dont want to offend any veg´s here but I have quite a few veg friends and over the years you invite ppl over for meals and in turn get invited etc. I always cater for their vegetarian lifestyle choice (because thats what it is, its not an allergy, thats different), but they never cater for mine. This is just something I´ve been musing about for awhile now, nothing too serious. But I really like my meat and think its unfair that vegetarians expect meat eaters to pander to them but most of them never even dream of doing meat eaters the same favour!

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 08/08/2015 20:14

^didn't like or couldn't eat something

blacktreaclecat · 08/08/2015 20:24

I have quite a few veggie friends but they all have non veggie spouse and kids. So they have often cooked meat dishes for me when I've been round.
I quite like veggie food anyway, I'm quite happy to have that at someone's house. It's not like it's every meal.

ObiWanCannoli · 08/08/2015 20:26

Oh law. Yabu

My sil is veggie has been forever her parents raised her veggie. She's never eaten or cooked meat my db is now veggie for twenty years and so are the dc.

Sil last summer decided to treat her friends at a lunch she laid on with meat she had cooked. She gave everyone who ate the meat food poising not on purpose but because she didn't know what to do. I have a feeling it was the chicken curry or the pork ribs in sticky spicy sauce. I stuck with veg as I eat very little meat and I'm pleased I did.

Just be grateful your friends reciprocate the hosting. Honestly you don't want to eat under cooked meat from someone who isn't confident about handling or preparing meat dishes.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/08/2015 20:32

don't want to offend any veg's here

I'm more offended being called "veg" TBH
"veggie" makes me Hmm but "veg" is stabby.
How difficult is vegetarian.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 08/08/2015 20:34

Hermi0ne it looks like it might be your friends not vegetarians in general then. Lots of PPs have said that they are veggies that cook meat for carnivores.

I'm a veggie and quite happily cook meat for guests and veggie for myself. I get a bit hacked off when they then huff and puff about having to do something separate for me!

Another thing is that vegetarians will eat whatever they are given as long as it doesn't contain meat or fish. Meat eaters on the other hand can be so picky! Don't like lamb...beef should be rare... no it should be well done....only eat breast of chicken not thighs....skin should be off...no it should be on etc etc. It's exhausting to keep up with it so tempting just to cook veggie because they all eat vegetables!!

Hellionandfriends · 08/08/2015 20:36

Would you really want to eat meat prepared by someone who found killing animals deeply upsetting?

marshmallowpies · 08/08/2015 20:36

'Non-vegetarians can eat vegetarian food' - try telling that to my FIL!

At Christmas MIL cooked 2 wellingtons, a beef one and a veggie one with chestnuts and mushrooms in. FIL took a portion of the veggie one by mistake and it took him until half way through eating it to realise it was the non-meat one. He pushed the rest to the side of his plate and didn't eat any more.

Talk about cutting off his nose to spite his face - the veggie one was yummy, but to him, a meal without meat in it isn't a meal. About the only 'accidentally' vegetarian dish he likes is French onion soup, and that's usually a starter anyway. He might eat macaroni cheese or cauliflower cheese as a side dish but never on its own. It's a good job his son who I married is a lot more laid back about vegetarianism than he is.

I have cooked meat for the DCs in the past but when it comes to cooking a proper meat based meal for DH I tend to let him do it - he cooks a great roast dinner, and he knows how to cook steak the way he likes it so I don't interfere. Or we do something like shepherds pie and I do the veg prep and he does the meat and mashes the potatoes, and we make 2 pies, 1 meat and one with mushrooms & veg in. Easy.

poppetina · 08/08/2015 20:37

I'm a vegetarian and have been for years. I nearly always cook meat for guests, although I've no idea if it tastes ok! I don't think you should expect it though, as PP's have said, you don't have an ethical objection to eating veggie food.

StackladysMorphicResonator · 08/08/2015 20:38

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Yorkshiremummyof4 · 08/08/2015 20:40

YANBU unless everybody in her house is veggie possibly. Our close friend is veggie. We cook for her needs. Her husband and ds are meat eaters. When we go to their house she does a veggie dish and meat dish.

neolara · 08/08/2015 20:41

As someone who has been veggie all my adult life, I have rarely cooked meat. I'll now cook sausages for my dc, but when I tried to make them mince, not only was the whole process revolting for me, but the dc assured me it tasted disgusting. As a guest, would you really want to risk being cooked meat by someone who has no idea what they are doing and who wouldn't be willing to check the flavour?

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 08/08/2015 20:49

OP I applaud anyone who starts a thread to question commonly held beliefs, do a bit of philosophy, whatever, but this question doesn't really provide much scope for discussion. It's obvious the two situations are different and there are no double standards.

Unless you're afraid of a roasting, you need to come up with a meatier subject. Chop chop!

Littleham · 08/08/2015 20:55

Perhaps for the sake of hospitality I should give it a try. Would you like to be my first guest victim?

CharlieAustinsMagicHat · 08/08/2015 20:59

I've been vegetarian for over 25 years, never cooked meat and wouldn't know how to cook it if it sat up and told me itself.

You're welcome to pop round for a chicken dinner if you like though?

Hellionandfriends · 08/08/2015 21:00

It depends why the vegetarian is vegetarian. If it's because they don't like the taste of meat, they might be ok to cook a meat dish for a guest. However an ethical vegetarian might struggle

blacktreaclecat · 08/08/2015 21:01

It tastes lovely poppetina, don't worry ;) x

alltouchedout · 08/08/2015 21:02

This reminds me of the time my dad had a rant about there being no meat option in a vegetarian restaurant.
I do think YABU, yes. I'm a long time vegetarian who does cook meat for people, but I have a meat eating husband and children so don't have a meat free home. If my home was meat free, visitors would not change that.

Gabilan · 08/08/2015 21:02

When we go to their house she does a veggie dish and meat dish.

The fact that some vegetarians will cook meat does not mean that all vegetarians should do so.

BowiesJumper · 08/08/2015 21:03

I'm vegetarian and don't want to touch dead animals, or smell them cooking. How am I meant to make you a meat dinner without doing those things? You would still get a delicious dinner I assure you.

The difference is, you don't find cooking broccoli offensive, whereas many vegetarians would find cooking meat so.

To begrudge your vegetarian friends that is bizarre in the grand scheme of things.

paddymcgintysmum · 08/08/2015 21:09

I'm more offended being called "veg" TBH
"veggie" makes me hmm but "veg" is stabby.
How difficult is vegetarian.

Oh! FGS? Or for you, Oh! For God's sake. What next is to take offence at?

I was a veggie in the 1950's and had every bloody thing thrown at me. My mother was a Saint for catering for me. No restaurant did.

Get over yourself.

CultureSucksDownWords · 08/08/2015 21:16

Some people (the OP being one apparently) seem quite convinced that all vegetarians exist to piss off everyone else.

I don't eat meat, I don't buy it, I don't cook it. If you're invited to my house I'll make you a nice three course tasty omnivorous (and vegetarian) meal. If you're not up for that then decline the invitation. If you're not up for pandering to my whims then don't invite me round for a meal. It's that simple.

ouryve · 08/08/2015 21:19

I thikn it's tedious that you think you're such a special snowflake that a vegetarian should do something they're quite likely morally opposed to (ie buy and prepare meat) just for you.

Do you honestly never have a meat free meal that you've prepared yourself? Ever?

Gabilan · 08/08/2015 21:34

My dad pretty much refuses to eat vegetarian meals. If he does have a meat-free lunch, he makes it pretty clear he sees it as a special event.

I find it odd. I get that people eat meat. I have no problem with that, though I'd rather they thought about how it's been farmed. It's just his refusal to have a vegetarian meal that I don't really get. He won't really talk about it and as far as I can work out, it's a status thing. It's a big deal to him to be able to afford to eat meat with a meal and it's not a proper meal without meat, apparently.

It's why I was initially pescatarian rather than vegetarian. My mum refused to let me cook my own meals and my dad refused to eat vegetarian meals. Eating fish meant there was something we could all eat without my mum cooking two meals and without me wanting to vomit during a meal (I don't eat meat other than fish because I don't like it).

grimbletart · 08/08/2015 22:24

I have no problem with my vegetarian friends refusing to cook meat for me. My only problem is if I get offered tofu - now, whatever is done to it, that stuff is truly revoltingly disgusting.

waitaminutenow · 08/08/2015 22:28

I couldn't agree more!!!! YANBU!!!