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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it tedious that vegetarians never reciprocate the favour

327 replies

Hermi0ne · 08/08/2015 12:26

Now, I´m not mightily peed off at this, and I really dont want to offend any veg´s here but I have quite a few veg friends and over the years you invite ppl over for meals and in turn get invited etc. I always cater for their vegetarian lifestyle choice (because thats what it is, its not an allergy, thats different), but they never cater for mine. This is just something I´ve been musing about for awhile now, nothing too serious. But I really like my meat and think its unfair that vegetarians expect meat eaters to pander to them but most of them never even dream of doing meat eaters the same favour!

OP posts:
IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 10/08/2015 11:55

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Littleham · 10/08/2015 11:57

Vegetarian dishes can be delicious. It is not just nut roasts!

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 10/08/2015 11:59

I have a few vegetarian colleagues, and when one in particular organizes anything at work they will order the 'vegetarian buffet' for everyone (which I don't mind too much, actually, because the 'meat sandwiches' are frankly frightening anyway).

But if a meal out is organised for them, or (as recently) a party, and we have to eat at the vegan restaurant, or people are only allowed to bring veggie stuff, that is always disappointing, to say the least.

Littleham · 10/08/2015 12:01

Your colleague is being unreasonable.

suzanneyeswecan · 10/08/2015 12:01

I think the luck is mainly on the side of the vegetarians Iknow

tabulahrasa · 10/08/2015 12:47

Nut roast Grin of course, because vegetarians eat special vegetarian food...not you know, just food without meat in it. Hmm

SuburbanRhonda · 10/08/2015 12:52

Nut roast?

Where have you lot been for the last 20 years?

And I have to say, whenever I've been to a buffet lunch for work or training, it's always the vegetarian food that goes first, regardless of the food preferences of the eaters!

Pandora37 · 10/08/2015 12:55

Nut roast foul?! What?! Nut roast is amazing, you're missing out!

I went out with some friends for dinner recently and I was very touched that they spent time choosing a restaurant for me that catered well for vegetarians, even though I was the only one. I wasn't bothered, I'd have been happy to go somewhere where there was only one option. I thought it was very sweet of them.

If I had a partner who ate meat (and all of my ex partners have been meat eaters), I would happily serve up meat. But I wouldn't be able to cook it myself. I might consider trying but as I never cook it I wouldn't have a clue what I was doing and you'd probably rapidly die from food poisoning. Grin

If it bothers you that much, I'd stop inviting them round yours and take them out for dinner instead so you can have a meal with meat in.

Marshy · 10/08/2015 12:58

woken up the asylum Hmm

Was there really no other turn of phrase you could have used?

SuburbanRhonda · 10/08/2015 12:58

If it bothers you that much, I'd stop inviting them round yours and take them out for dinner instead so you can have a meal with meat in.

^^ This.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 10/08/2015 12:59

of course, because vegetarians eat special vegetarian food...not you know, just food without meat in it

Quorn, anyone? That's a bit disingenuous - food doesn't have 'meat in it': meat is a quite broad kind of food which constitutes the larger part of a lot of the dishes many people eat and prepare. It's not like eating 'food without cumin in it' or something.

Pandora37 · 10/08/2015 13:00

Ah now that annoys me SurburbanRhonda. I've been to buffets before where if you're unfortunate enough to not be first in the queue, the majority of the vegetarian food is gone, and you can see the meat eaters piling up their plates with all the veggie stuff. Meaning by the time I get there there's one manky old cheese sandwich left if I'm lucky. I have nothing against meat eaters taking veggie food but not to the extent that there's nothing left for me!

Tuskerfull · 10/08/2015 13:05

I'm still Hmm that anyone considers it a "favour" to give their guests food they can eat.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/08/2015 13:07

I'm pretty sure non-vegetarians are allowed to eat Quorn, aren't they?

Grin
SuburbanRhonda · 10/08/2015 13:08

tusker, you clearly haven't been on a MN vegetarian thread before then!

tabulahrasa · 10/08/2015 13:10

"Quorn, anyone? That's a bit disingenuous - food doesn't have 'meat in it': meat is a quite broad kind of food which constitutes the larger part of a lot of the dishes many people eat and prepare. It's not like eating 'food without cumin in it' or something."

Not everyone eats quorn...

It is like eating food without cumin in it though, really.

It might not be if your diet is really based around meat, but ordinary everyday foods don't always have to have meat in them, or even any substitute at all.

There are plenty of pasta dishes, risottos, curries, pizza even if you can't be bothered that just are already vegetarian.

Then there are other dishes like chilli where you can just leave out meat and because it's highly flavoured anyway you don't actually need anything other than beans and vegetables.

Granted they're not all dinner party foods, but vegetarians aren't all living off nut roast and buckwheat.

shovetheholly · 10/08/2015 13:14

So if you have a friend who is a Muslim, you wouldn't force them to eat pork at your house, but you would expect them to cook it for you to 'return the favour', even though that is explicitly against their religious beliefs? Hmmmm? Hmm

CultureSucksDownWords · 10/08/2015 13:16

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou - have you never chosen to eat a margherita pizza, or a four cheeses one, or pasta with roast vegetables, cheese omelette, or any other perfectly respectable meal that doesn't happen to include meat? Or does every single one of your meals have to include meat for it to count as tasty!?

maninawomansworld - do you actually enjoy the killing of the animal, or is it the hunting process, and the eating of the meat itself that you enjoy? The killing being an unavoidable part of that process?

MaidOfStars · 10/08/2015 13:17

Ah yes, meat-eaters robbing vegetarian buffet. Special place in hell reserved.... Wink

YY, I know it looks nice. And yes, it's an interesting vegetable concoction. No, honestly, you go ahead, take several, I'll fill up on bread.

SuburbanRhonda · 10/08/2015 13:19

tabulahrasa

I wouldn't bother with the explanations. Most people know that food vegetarians can eat has moved on immeasurably in the last few years, thanks to cooks like Ottolenghi and restaurants such as Terre a Terre.

But somehow, MN operates in an alternative reality where vegetarians are still eating stodgy, unappetising food and pretending it's delicious.

And where every meat-based dish is a culinary triumph Grin

LarrytheCucumber · 10/08/2015 13:29

I think I understand what you mean, but it isn't going to happen.
I was brought up in a half veggie household. My parents lived with my veggie grandparents when they first got married and my DGM made my mother cook her meat meals separately from the food the rest of the family were having. With hinsight I think she was lucky they let her eat meat in their house at all.
Many years later DH and I lived with DF for a year and I cooked veggie meals for all of us 6 days a week and we had one meat day when DF cooked his own veggie food.
DF is veggie by upbringing but I would not expect him to prepare or cook meat.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 10/08/2015 13:54

have you never chosen to eat a margherita pizza, or a four cheeses one, or pasta with roast vegetables, cheese omelette, or any other perfectly respectable meal that doesn't happen to include meat? Or does every single one of your meals have to include meat for it to count as tasty!?

It's not something I think about TBH, but looking at it now - yes, every single dinner time meal we eat has meat in it & always has (and always will).

I think I've had 1 Margherita pizza in my life...

Tuskerfull · 10/08/2015 13:56

While we're on the vegetarian-food-at-a-buffet-thing, I am still sore about a work thing last year. The food was late and everyone was starving and then they bought out the veggie stuff first and everyone pounced. I could have cried!

knickernicker · 10/08/2015 14:04

OP- I think it's one of those situations where it's reasonable to feel the way you do, but not reasonable as an argument.
If you love meat and you're looking forward to a lovely dinner party, a big rib of beef, for example, is heaven. It is gutting to know you won't be getting the centre piece. That said, veggies are not prepared to eat it and many uncomfortable preparing it so we've just got to to suck it up.

teatowel · 10/08/2015 14:11

No Culture (two pages back!) I wouldn't expect people with religious beliefs to serve me meat. I am totally unworried when vegetarians don't serve me meat. It is absolutely a non issue for me. It just seems odd that vegetarians don't ever think of putting meat on a table for meat eating friends. I'm not talking about cooking it I'm thinking about buying sausage rolls or ham or a pizza with meat on it when you are serving up a buffet.