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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to ask someone to vacate the only disabled bay?

29 replies

AlisonBlunderland · 07/08/2015 15:58

Quite prepared to be flamed. If so, I'll never do it again.
I'm fully aware that one can be young and fit looking and still qualify for a BB

Shopping area in very small town, / large village.
Parade of small shops on both sides of road, yellow lines in one side, ten or so oblique angled bays with only one designated disabled space at one end.

6.30 in evening, so all shops shut but there are a couple of eating places open.
I'm driving, taking 92 old mother out for dinner. She has a blue badge.

I approach row of parking bays from the end where the BB bay is facing me.

The only bay has a car in it.
A young lad is sitting in driver's seat, having a ciggy and checking his phone. I can't see any BB on dashboard.

I give the lightest of toots on my horn, and hold up my blue badge.

Now I expected one of three responses..

  1. He holds up a blue badge, in which case I would have waved apologetically and driven on
  2. He looks embarrassed as he shouldn't be parked there, and he leaves the space
  3. He doesn't have a BB, doesn't give a stuff and stays put / tells me to p* off

What actually happens is a combination of 2 and 3.

He proceeds to move his car but with a prolonged tirade of angry looking faces and words and gestures.

I park there, but by the time I have got my mother sorted, the car next door has moved and the lad reparks in that slot, jumps out and storms off past the shops and round the corner.

We end up sitting in window of Restaurant, with me nervously checking my car in case he returns and plants some dog poo under my door handle!

Should I have just driven on in the first place and parked in the car park a couple of blocks away?

OP posts:
LurkingHusband · 07/08/2015 16:06

youparklikeacunt.com/ ?

Boofy27 · 07/08/2015 16:06

You were not even in the neighbourhood of unreasonable.

paulapompom · 07/08/2015 16:09

Totally reasonable imo. He sounds an arse. Like you said he only had to show his bb if he had one. But he didn't. Arse.

WorraLiberty · 07/08/2015 16:10

Should I have just driven on in the first place and parked in the car park a couple of blocks away?

I genuinely don't know why you're asking this? Especially since you couldn't see a BB displayed Confused

Do you think anyone is going to suggest you should have walked your 92yr old mother round a few blocks??

DirtyMugPolice · 07/08/2015 16:10

Yanbu. What a pillock. It seems justifiable to some people if it's 'just for a few minutes/while I wait for someone/while I can't be bothered to park in any other perfectly reasonable space'.

Panzee · 07/08/2015 16:10

Sounds like Kevin the Teenager got a car.

GlitterNails · 07/08/2015 16:12

Nope - if he was legitimate, he would have held his badge up, so I don't think it was wrong to check.

I'm not a fan of people judging someone by sight though - I'm a young female who looks healthy, but am very much not, but I would wave my badge at someone in that situation, as would anyone else with one I should think.

gabsdot45 · 07/08/2015 16:35

You did exactly the right thing. He was a knob, he probably knew he was in the wrong and got embarrassed, hence all the swearing and gesturing.

Original poster
AlisonBlunderland · 07/08/2015 16:46

I think he was stressed as he was having a bad day at the bookies.

I realised that he must have disappeared round corner to go to cash point , as he then went into the bookies opposite restuarant. Then went round corner again... and back into bookies.

Maybe his dog had just come in last when I tooted him.

I know that I could have got it wrong and he was perfectly entitled to park there, so was quite prepared to be told I was BU

OP posts:
BullshitS70 · 07/08/2015 20:45

I've waved my BB at some one parked in the only disabled parking bay and they have moved for me. You really have to put yourself out here and not be shy as otherwise you WILL have to park round the corner and why should you?

suchafuss · 07/08/2015 22:47

I am forever miving people on who are in bats without a badge. Did it last night when a car had just pulled into one. It had a group of young guys in it on their way to the gym. They had absolutley no problem in moving when i asked them to. I think that peoples aggression can be out of embarasment when they are caught out doing something socially unacceptable.

Samcro · 07/08/2015 22:49

yanbu
if he had a BB he would have flashed it, if not he shouldn't be there, so well done you

100butterflies · 07/08/2015 23:15

A car pulled in head first, is it that obvious if there is a blue badge?

This is the only part of the story I am confused at. I have not seen people tooting and waving badges, and the someone else waving badges back.

Note, I do not agree with non disabled use of bays. But occasionally people have a temporary disability, that genuinely need a space like that - but don't have a badge.

Samcro · 07/08/2015 23:16

No BB
no using Bay.
simple

100butterflies · 07/08/2015 23:19

Or perhaps, tolerance and understanding?

Loletta · 07/08/2015 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Samcro · 07/08/2015 23:44

100butterflies you can only park legally in a disabled bay if you have a BB.

100butterflies · 08/08/2015 00:06

Samcro, life isn't always black and white though. a BB takes time to organise. My parent had a diagnosis cancer, which left a short life span. He wanted to shop,but I couldn't just drop him off and park else where. But you would happily toot your horn at us, during a very sad time In our life?

I was trying to say, let live and and although ones life may be hard so may be others.

Hedgehogsdontbite · 08/08/2015 07:05

YANBU and can you please tell the woman who was parked in the one I needed yesterday to shift too. It was the only space with any shade so her dogs needed it more than me Hmm.

BeautifulBatman · 08/08/2015 07:09

Yanbu, but what would you have done if that single disabled space was actually taken up with another bb driver?

Samcro · 08/08/2015 07:13

if you don't have a BB and park in a BB bay you will get a ticket as you have to have a BB.

simplesusan · 08/08/2015 07:14

Yanbu.

flanjabelle · 08/08/2015 07:18

I see what you are saying 100, but that does not seem to have been the situation here. sorry about your dad :(

MythicalKings · 08/08/2015 07:18

I've seen able bodied people park in disabled spaces when there is literally nowhere else to park but the driver stays in the car ready to move if someone needs the space. This happens quite often in a place we regularly visit on holidays. Parking near an ATM costs a silly amount there (seaside town) so the passenger nips to the ATM and the driver stays in the car, ready to move.

On a side note shops and traffic wardens can use discretion. I broke my ankle and was non-weight bearing for 8 weeks so was using a wheelchair. Our local supermarket said it was fine to use a bay when we asked. We needed the extra room to get the wheelchair and me out of the car. We also used a space in the seaside town with the permission of the warden. The car park spaces are tiny and I wouldn't have been able to get out.

Common sense is all that's needed.

That young man was just a twat, though.

Samcro · 08/08/2015 07:23

this wasn't a car park though.