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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is utterly humiliating

194 replies

merricat · 07/08/2015 00:29

So, I live in a reasonably quiet Scottish village. We moved here two years ago after my husband got a job at [neighbouring city's university].

I know I'm overqualified for normal jobs - I have a PhD - but I want and need a job. Such jobs keep becoming available at our local Co-op shop. I would be fine and good at it, reliable etc. I have no commitments and could work any hours they wanted (which they said was a plus the first time I applied). I have now applied three times for a part time job on the tills. It is getting embarrassing. I will not apply again, but this evening I went in and noticed signs up saying they were recruiting. Every time I go in, the manager makes a point of ignoring me - he has my application on file and I've spoken to him about it previously, but can't keep doing so. I'm here, local, willing, and able. I cannot seem to get this shop job, despite the fact that they've been advertising consistently since I moved here, and despite having my application on file.

What is wrong with me? Why won't they even interview me? What can I do? How can I manage to get a job in a shop?

It's really started to depress me. Whenever I go in there, the manage very concertedly avoids eye contact. It's humiliating!

OP posts:
Coffeemarkone · 07/08/2015 15:44

" Coffee with respect you are talking nonsense. "

oh right so 'with respect' you are dismissing my life experiences?
Christ on a bike.

Coffeemarkone · 07/08/2015 15:47

and as 'DeWEe' said, it is not so much about 'Anti-English' as such as anti incomer. Nobody would get a job in our village shops who hadnt lived there for years, nobody.

SolasEile · 07/08/2015 15:51

I never said the OP should 'just get a job in her field' because that would be daft, obviously. I said she should apply for jobs at the local university / universities. There are support roles at all universities that anyone can apply for and they often look favorably on applicants who have a PhD, either where their research funding has run out or they just want a career change. At the Scottish university I previously worked at, there were lots of people with PhDs working in roles like grant managers, research support, tech transfer, communications etc.

Applying to a local university for a support role in administration is a better career move for the OP and would be a place where her PhD would count in her favour rather than against her. If she is in the north of Scotland as seems to be the case, there is Aberdeen University, Robert Gordon's University and then local colleges like Moray College, Aberdeen College etc. All places where having a PhD, even in an irrelevant field, would not be a problem.

Also, OP, you can't ignore the importance of fitting in. People want to hire people that are like themselves that they can get along with day to day. The guy in the Co-op probably just wants to hire someone who is easy to get along with, someone local like himself. Nothing sinister, just the way everyone hires for any job, right up to the senior levels.

cjt110 · 07/08/2015 15:57

I have a degree and a post grad and worked in the legal field for 4 years. Whilst studying I worked in retail as a supervisor. When I decided I wanted to leave the legal field, I was rejected a few times from a famous orange supermarket. I rang and asked why and was told it was because I was applying for "a shelf stacker" job and was overqualified and to apply for an admin/hr based position.

Very demoralising to be told which job I should/shouldnt apply for. If I am able to stack a shelf, why should my qualifications matter. Shouldnt my willing and previous 7 years retail experience count more?!

Sadly you are boxed in when you have qualifications, the same way as you are if you don't have them.

I do think there is perhaps something in being an "incomer" to a small village too, and perhaps some snobbery/jealousy that you and your DH (not sure how to phrase this without sound like a git) are well educated and also comfortable enough to be able to relocate.

Hope you manage to find something suited. Don't forget, it's not just them offering a job to you, it's you offering yourself and your experience. If they aren't appreciate of it, I'm sure someone else will be. Best of luck.

Lappy214 · 07/08/2015 15:57

Are the scots really such xenophobic bigots ?

KatharineClifton · 07/08/2015 16:03

OP, if you are ok with a low wage then you could try care work. I have lots of retail experience but the thought of going back to that, with rude bastard customers all day, filled me with horror. I decided to try care work thinking I would at least be capable, but I absolutely love it!

Plenty of anti-English sentiment here in Wales too, but there is the Language Act here to back that up. Like the ad for picking up litter on the beach requiring Welsh language. I don't think Scotland has the like, yet...

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 07/08/2015 16:04

Are the scots really such xenophobic bigots ?
Well I'm not. The village I live in treats incomers as a curiosity and most people are generally over friendly noseywelcoming. Could be a different story elsewhere.

Original poster
merricat · 07/08/2015 16:23

Thanks everyone. Agree with comment on how qualifications 'box you in' and much as not having them, just in different ways.

On reflection, I won't start inventing GCSEs, don't worry. I wouldn't have the balls to anyway, frankly.

The xenophobia thing - I really don't think it's at play here. The village is quite mixed, because it's in the commuter belt. I'm half Scottish and know some Gaelic and vote SNP, anyway Grin I do have an English accent, but I think it's more to do with, as some posters have said, being seen to be well off / well educated / not one of them. I do chat and get on well with the staff (some of them said they really hoped I'd get the job, the first time I applied). I don't know.

Oh, and LazyLohan, thanks for the kicking while I'm down: for whatever reason he's decided you're not suitable. Your reaction to this is to insist that you are and challenge him. The manager is probably thinking you'd be a nightmare to work with if he doesn't feel like justifying himself every time he asks you to get some change or stack a shelf.

A bit harsh perhaps? I haven't challenged him, at all, and I haven't insisted on anything. He avoids eye contact so I don't approach him. If he were to meet my eye, I would smile in a friendly sort of way, just as I would any other member of staff there.

For people offering sympathy and/or advice: thank you. I've looked at university admin but it's very competitive and hard to get on the ladder with no office experience. Someone upthread suggested turning a hobby into a business, and that is the longterm goal. I just could do with some cash to make it happen, but I doubt I'm going to be able to get a shop job now. I've done voluntary work in the past, and will take that up again soon.

OP posts:
LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 07/08/2015 16:26

Good luck op. Flowers

Mrsjayy · 07/08/2015 16:28

Im not xenophobic or a bigot saying that you do get a lot of where are you from in scotland my dh is from8 miles away but you would think he was an alien the way some nosy folk carried on.

googoodolly · 07/08/2015 16:33

Applying for retail isn't the same as applying for other jobs, I've found. I work for one of the big four and the selection process is very much personality based. They need you to be a people-person who can deal with the public and who will "uphold the ideals of the brand".

I found you have to tell them what they want to hear. Support their brand and beliefs, answer the questions in the application as what THEY would want you to do, not what you would do.

TendonQueen · 07/08/2015 16:43

Yes, but they clearly can't get anyone who 'upholds the values of the brand' and all that, can they, as the job keeps coming up again? It's a beggars can't be choosers situation and therefore you'd think the manager would at least take someone who seemed to want the job by now even if he didn't think they'd be that good at it (no offence intended OP!) because how much worse could it be? If he'd rather be down a staff member than employ the OP, he just sounds blinkered and unpleasant.

googoodolly · 07/08/2015 16:46

You'd be surprised, Tendon. My department at work has been understaffed for ages, despite several recruitment sessions. They won't hire and train someone if they think they're going to leave for a better job, and unfortunately, someone with a PHD on their CV applying for basic retail works unlikely to get a look-in, regardless of how desperate they are!

It sucks for OP and I really sympathise with her, but not everyone can just walk into a retail job. They can obviously cover the shifts at the moment with overtime, and perhaps they would rather do that for now.

RandomFriend · 07/08/2015 16:50

University admin is great to do! If that interests you, look out for jobs that are advertised, talk to people within the university, etc. Someone with a PhD is often very welcome in such a role.

Original poster
merricat · 07/08/2015 17:06

Yes, the humiliating thing about this isn't that I'm not getting the job, or even that I'm not getting an interview, but that they'd rather have nobody than me. It's not exactly good for one's confidence to lose out to an empty chair.

And the first time I applied, the assistant manager at the time told me they struggle to find people who are even capable of filling in the forms properly (low education rate amongst the young locals). I might not be much but I can fill in a form, you'd think I'd get a pop at an interview.

I just need to get it out of my head and stop analysing it, I guess.

I'll keep your advice in mind randomfriend!

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 07/08/2015 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SeaCabbage · 07/08/2015 17:23

Please ask the Manager why you weren't suitable. Could be something you hadn't thought of or a misunderstanding even.

Rubylee87 · 07/08/2015 17:31

I haven't read the full thread but perhaps you lack retail experience. I managed to get experience in retail by applying for temporary Christmas jobs. Some shops recruit from September so that could be an option as many will consider keeping you on if you do a good job.

Perhaps you could ask the manager for feedback on your application. Phone and ask if you don't want to approach him.

NiceBitOfCheese · 07/08/2015 17:41

Be business-like about this. Phone and ask for his email address, and email the manager. Tell him you are keen to work there - settled due to DH's job, children at local school maybe, or keen to bring children up there (if you have no DCs yet). You like the ethos of the company, you like the atmosphere in the shop (mention that the staff clearly enjoy their jobs and that must be a reflection on him!!). Explain that you have submitted 3 applications without getting an interview, and would appreciate his opinion as to how you could strengthen your application. Offer to come in for a meeting if he would rather speak face to face. (That way he may tel you things he wouldn't commit to paper).

If he ignores you, phone him - 'I wonder if you received my email...'

If he gives you the brush off, contact HR at HQ.

Your perseverance may pay off.

unlucky83 · 07/08/2015 17:55

Another here with a Phd that thinks it makes me unemployable.
I would never get a job in my field again - which I loved. Partly blame the fact that the wage has increased a lot in recentish years - makes more financial sense for a group leader to have one qualified post doc and a couple of (cheap) Phd students.

Not actively looking for work at moment - do have a very part-time role - from doing a voluntary role. Seriously thinking of omitting the Phd (and maybe BSc) when I do actively start looking for FT -no idea what I am going to do though.
And it is a horrible position to be in - all your hard work is a negative.
I applied for a technician's job (Phd is biochemistry), requirements were for techniques I had lots and lots of experience in - main part of my Phd (but had been out of the job market for 4 years) even so I thought I might stand some chance ....I didn't even get an interview. Lots of others locally (near universities) are in my position - unemployable
What a waste of money and everyone's time letting me even get a qualification...

And I am in Scotland and English. Rarely had a problem but have come across racism towards the English a couple of times. Eg once I had communicated with someone by email - when I met them as soon as I opened my mouth and they heard my accent their whole demeanour changed.

YeOldeTrout · 07/08/2015 18:00

I don't want to comment on the Co-op (No Idea).
When I had a big career break & too many degrees I went back to work as a supply Dinner Lady. Great move, restored my confidence a lot.

Good luck.

ShuShuFontana · 07/08/2015 18:06

I shouldn't bother....our (and many others) Co Op has just been closed down and will be reincarnated as a new Aldi

Wait and apply for them instead.

KatharineClifton · 07/08/2015 18:31

'I might not be much but I can fill in a form'

Perhaps it's your obvious lack of confidence which has meant no interview?

Igneococcus · 07/08/2015 19:48

Our Co-op has also shut down and is being replaced by a Lidl. The building is already gone.

Alanna1 · 07/08/2015 19:49

Drop the PhD from your CV?