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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not wanting MIL to iron baby clothes?

55 replies

Teacup12 · 06/08/2015 18:09

I have a kind and wonderful MIL but the other day she mentioned I should give her some of my baby clothes we purchased and she will help wash and iron them. She is a really nice lady but as this is her first grandchild, she acts like the proverbial "child in a sweet shop" and has been buying us clothes, extra bottles (we have 12 now and even though I advised her I am planning on EBF lol) & steriliser, and she told her hairdresser abt the baby who offered us a preloved cot with brand new sheets ( even though I wanted to co sleep and am buying a chicco co sleeper that she put £40 towards) I am not used to do much excitement I suppose, and ppl fussing over us? AIBU to let her iron the baby clothes even though LO will probably puke, poop and spit all over them and they will need washing again anyway?

OP posts:
ArendelleQueen · 06/08/2015 19:05

People who like ironing are alien to me. That said, let her get on with it. It causes no harm and keeps her happy.

Littlecaf · 06/08/2015 19:06

YY to MIL 'helping' but be careful over the smell of the washing powder. It's funny how you get used to the baby smell of a newborn, for it to be masked by over fragranced washing powder/liquid is horrible!

SchwarzwalderKirschtorte · 06/08/2015 19:07

She's trying to help. Accept but remind nicely that fabric conditioner etc shouldn't be used jic and look forward to the pristine clothes. Smile

IconicTonic · 06/08/2015 19:07

Fine to turn down the cot if you want new or to be able to pick your own but you will probably need one at some point, my DC slept in cots for the first 3 years.

Idontseeanydragons · 06/08/2015 19:07

Mil did all of our washing for the first couple of weeks all 3 times. She did the same thing for my BIL & SIL's as well - it's her way of feeling useful. Everything came back pristine and beautifully ironed, it was less for us to do and she wanted to do it for us.
Everyone wins Smile

dontcallmelen · 06/08/2015 19:08

Oplet her do it as pp said 'granny nesting' she sounds lovely, enjoy the fussing & attention, & maybe cot could be stored & used later?
Good luckSmile

BikketBikketBikket · 06/08/2015 19:11

Don't use any conditioner. When my DD was small she developed eczema, and the doctor told me that fabric conditioner was not ideal for any skin, but certainly not a baby's sensitive skin. I've never used it again for anything (and DD is 35, so I've saved a fortune over the years... Smile)

Katinkka · 06/08/2015 19:12

My mil washes and irons my three boys' clothes. Don't complain! It's soo helpful.

PoppyFleur · 06/08/2015 19:18

Congratulations OP and take all the help you can get! Your MIL sounds lovely and wants to be involved. Unless there is anything to suggest that she could get 'over involved' then what harm does it do.

Original poster
Teacup12 · 06/08/2015 19:20

Thanks again everybody. You guys are amazing :) We will take the cot and maybe keep it downstairs and the co sleeper upstairs. And we can keep some of the extra bottles and bits and grandmas house stored away. It's strange having someone love you too much, I am super grateful though. I will give her some clothes to wash and iron. Like some of you mentioned I'm not much of an ironer either but it's nice of her to help. I did mention to her re: buying clothes we have a lot of little clothes from 0-6 m already and if she or anybody else is happy to buy something, we would be grateful for general items (vests, pjs) from 6m onwards. At least I can redirect their spending (hopefully) so clothes aren't wasted lol x x

OP posts:
ollieplimsoles · 06/08/2015 19:22

Lovely mil! I would provide the softner and such so I could be sure she was using what I wanted, but other than that she sounds like she's really excited in not just the baby, but in your pregnancy too which is really sweet!

Btw ive bought the chico co sleeper cot too, looks lovely so far we shall have to see how baby gets on in it!

CheerfulYank · 06/08/2015 19:22

I don't even own an iron but let her do it :)

ApocalypseThen · 06/08/2015 19:29

Oh definitely let her. My mother did that for me and the clothes cane out just beautifully - no way can I find the time or energy to do it as nicely. But I've a big pile of beautifully laundered clothes for her which is lovely when I'm bringing her somewhere.

YouFargingIceHole · 06/08/2015 19:32

I am sooooo jealous of you! My MIL fucked off to. the other side of the country for 3 months two weeks after ds was born. I have no family in the UK and ended up with pnd because it was all too much.
Enjoy your new baby and buy your lovely MIL a nice bouquet of flowers for being so lovely!
Once your dc gets here you will really appreciate her I betSmile.

Redshoes55 · 06/08/2015 19:34

Op I started a thread a while back as I was feeding my ds/dils cats and knew they had been working flat out. She's pregnant and her own mum is fairly horrible to her.

Saw the ironing pile and was itching to do it!

Don't get me wrong I
Am not a grey haired saddo desperate for her approval. I run my own business and have 2 teens at home still and am super busy but I love them both dearly and just want to help.

I think your mil is the same.

No agenda just family love and support.

MissJoMarch · 06/08/2015 20:29

Blankets. Good blankets are hard to get - if you're MIL is fit and able, she could do some shopping or if she's a good knitter going around wool shops choosing colours is a nice thing to do.

Original poster
Teacup12 · 06/08/2015 21:10

Can I ask you guys something else? OH was a big baby and I was average. Shall we wash (& iron :D ) 0-3m or start off at 3-6m? Just spoke to MIL and she advised best get 3-6m ready? Thanks again you all have been super nice and helpful x

OP posts:
ChanandlerBongsNeighbour · 06/08/2015 21:17

When I was expecting DC2, my mil took ALL our unisex newborn to 6months sized clothes home with her (3 hours away) and on their next visit returned with pristine, ironed folded clothes all organised by size with each size separated and labelled with post it notes GrinGrin I found one of the post its down the back of the shelf the other day whilst sorting through some stuff (baby is 20months now!!) and it did give me a chuckle!

lilacblossomtime · 06/08/2015 21:17

She sounds nice and can be a big help to you after the baby is born. Don't let her go OTT and become a pain. But she could make you some meals and help with housework after the baby is born, and when the baby is bigger maybe do some babysitting.

Lunastarfish · 06/08/2015 21:25

Let her iron. During maternity leave I became a little bored and washed all the clothes (needed doing anyway as mostly hand me downs) and I ironed everything. They'll never be ironed again as I don't have time with a newborn!

DartmoorDoughnut · 06/08/2015 21:33

DS was 9lb 4oz and longish too, in any case he was in 0-3 for the exact time period near as darn it, maybe 3 and a half months before he went into the 3-6 months stuff, no bad thing having them washed but it'll probably be a couple of months at least until you need them. Some brands wear/wash better so you'll be in some for longer than the stated period and out of others more quickly than you expected. As with everything baby related flexibility is the key!

toomuchtooold · 06/08/2015 21:44

If she's as nice as she sounds, let her tear away! Any friend of your baby's is a friend of yours Smile

My bloody mother in law was ace at helping us when our twins were little (I was just desperate for a spare pair of hands but my mum doesn't keep well) but then after 3 weeks (when they were 11 weeks old) she went home saying she couldn't afford to let the garden get out of control and that they'd come back for a visit when the girls were 6 months old! I should be grateful for the time she was there but when I remember standing at the door waving her off and then going back to solo care of 11 week old twins... it's hard to be grateful.

And Shock about fabric softener! I rarely bother with it but am glad I can now sell this to DH as care for the small ones' skin rather than the fact that I can't be arsed...

NotSureAtAllNow · 06/08/2015 22:55

We bought the Chico co sleeper for our 4 month old dd. love it only wish I'd had it for ds who is now 2.5.
Take the cot and buy a new mattress for use downstairs we use a travel cot in kitchen handy to pop baby into at times.
No MIL here as passed away 6 months after we married and DM passed away last year I would say appreciate the offers as you will remember fondly in the future.

AngelBlue12 · 06/08/2015 23:04

Lots of big babies over here (9lb - 11lb) and they've all needed 0-3 months. I doubt you'd need to go straight into 3-6 :)

CheshireChat · 06/08/2015 23:12

My mum was told she should iron everything for newborns as it kills germs apparently. Glad to see you're getting along though.