to think this job offer is sexist bullshit?

[GermanHouseCat]

I have a post in Overseas as this started out as a few specific questions about moving to Taiwan for DH's job. It has now become a bit of a circus and I'm looking for some views.

DH was approached about a senior job in an international company in Taiwan - it would be a big promotion for him (different company) and is a slight known quantity as he kind of knows the big boss already. It's a decent expat package with housing, flights home, schooling for any future DC etc.

He has now been formally offered the role, but the offer is on a tiered system based entirely around whether or not I move to Taiwan with DH. We had initially been planning for me to stay in the UK for a while, then get a job in my industry in Hong Kong and then finally end up in Taiwan in a few years full time when we're ready to have DC. We are confident based on our current and previous arrangements that this can work.

The hiring manager (himself an expat) isn't happy with this and wants me living there full time from the start. He seems to have a warped idea that women should be with their husbands and that anything else couldn't possibly work. As such, he has made DH an offer based on me moving. If I don't move, the offer reduces by about 25% and is no longer that great. The 25% certainly doesn't represent my current salary.

AIBU to think that a) a company would never demand that a husband give up his own successful career to support his wife, and b) that it is no bloody business of theirs anyway as long as DH is there and the job gets done??

Really upset for DH if this falls through as it is a fantastic career opportunity for him which he has been after for quite a while.

German I think that makes sense. Hk would be better because it's a much shorter flight. If it doesn't work out with your current shop and you want help with HK head hunters, you can PM me.

I would be somewhat realistic with the package though. Despite what lavender says, the days of the gold plated expat package are over in HK- majority of front office people are hired on local package, for middle and back office the packages still exist to compensate you for the rent differential etc., but it's an expensive city (as you know already) and you're unlikely to "get change" (other than the tax saving) as it's just not viewed as a hardship placement in the same way as the ME still is. That said, due to not having kids, you'll be viewed as relatively cheap (no school fees, smaller house) so you do have some leverage.