AIBU about my house? (sorry, rather long!)

[velvetspoon]

Bit of background: Bought my house with my XP more than a decade ago. Plan was to double size of house by extension (done) which we'd then finish ourselves (not done). When we first split up, XP said he'd finish it, I gave him 2 years, he hadn't so I moved back in. With the intention of finishing it, except I haven't either.

So nearly 5 years on, it's still nowhere near finished. Some rooms are 95% there, others more like 50%, but it's now reached a stage where the 'good' rooms all need redecorating anyway. And it's just all a bit beyond me - it's a big house (14 rooms, plus a couple of big walk in cupboards) and whilst I have tinkered round the edges over the years (which has taken a lot of time nonetheless) there's almost nothing to show for my efforts. I've also tried to get people in to do work which has been pretty disastrous, either things have been done badly/wrong, or now I'm in the position where I can barely get anyone out to quote (I've spent hours ringing round) and when they do they're pretty rude, and don't want the work!

In an ideal world I'd give someone £10-15k (which I have, I've saved and budgeted for years to cover these costs) and say finish the lot, and it would all get done. All the new doorframes, skirting boards, plumbing, laying flooring/carpet, decorating etc. But I can't get anyone to do one job let alone all of it.

So, I'm now in a relationship, and long term (in the next 12 months or so) we would like to move in together. But he can't live here as it is, there's loads I'd need to do (not even finish it, but I've got to basically create 2 extra bedrooms, and complete 2 bathrooms as a minimum) , and I barely know where to start. Also understandably he doesn't want to live in my house forever, and has suggested I look into just cutting my losses and selling, because he doesn't think I'll ever finish it.

In it's current state my house is worth a minimum of £100k less than it's 'finished' value, so frankly I can't face doing that. Even if it cost me £20k to finish (it wouldn't), I'd still be at least £80k better off by persevering. Which is a huge amount of money to lose.

So AIBU to think I should (somehow) stick it out and finish it, rather than chuck away £80k? (I think I'm not BU at all on this).

If I'm right though, where the actual fuck do I start? I work FT, have limited evening/weekend time to do anything, and no-one to help (I can pay people, but I don't have any friends or family to give me a hand).

Advice would be welcomed, because me not doing anything with the house is becoming a bit of a sticking point with bf and I. I don't like being told I'll never finish it (he's not the first one to say that tbh) BUT otoh I haven't done much in recent years, so how am I ever going to get it done?

Get someone in to do one room. Tell them there will be work for them if they do a good job. Then carry on room by room if you're still happy. If not, start again with someone else.

What you need is a property maintenance guy. One person who can sort the whole thing out. Offer them their usual daily rate and then an additional bonus if all work is completed within something you both agree is a reasonable timeframe. If you're considering selling as is and making a loss then you have nothing to lose by offering a hefty bonus. I have a friend who could do everything you mention and make it look amazing.

I doubt you're close enough, but perhaps seeing my friend's Facebook page might help you to find something similar (umm, are we allowed to link business pages? I genuinely think it will help and genuinely doubt he'll be close enough to actually get the work, just linking as an example of the sort of person that could make the whole problem go away: m.facebook.com/pages/Eggington-Property-Maintenance/198702061476)

I think for such a big project £10K-15K is totally unrealistic and that's why nobody wants the job. If the basic jobs like wiring and central heating and plumbing are done then I'd approach it on a room by room basis otherwise you will be overwhelmed. Nobody is going to come in and renovate a 14 roomed house for £10K. You wouldn't even renovate a small flat for that.

Vivienne makes a good point. It cost us about £14k just to redecorate the inside of our 4 bedroom house.
That was south east, true, and did include all woodwork (including painting over stained brown window frames), all walls, all ceilings, stairwell, painting the kitchen cupboards, replacing all window and door hardware and lights, new carpet... But it sounds like you have even more to do, OP.

Honestly, I'd try looking for a semi-retired handyman/tradesman. We had one like that do odd jobs around house who was a friend of a friend. He was slower than would be expected of someone else, so he didn't like working full time anymore as he felt he couldn't keep up. But, he charged per job and we could give him keys to the house and let him work at his own pace while we left for the day.

He was able to work at a slower, relaxed pace that suited him with no pressure and we didn't mind it took twice as long as it didn't cost us twice as much.

I've never discussed my budget with anyone, so that's not a reason for anyone to turn the work down. And the figure itself comes from XP (in fact he said £7-10k but I've allowed more as it was a few years ago). He was trying to get me to cover half of it so I know he wouldn't have underestimated - plus he works in the trade and paid all the building costs on the original extension. And as I've tried to say it's lots of little jobs, and a few larger ones. The expensive stuff has already been paid for, this would be mainly labour. Plus I can if necessary do stuff like decorating myself, I'm not necessarily looking to pay someone to turn my house into a show home - I just need it to be a house that's finished, ie with doors, where the rooms have woodwork and where I have at least one working shower. I think if I could get it into a ready to decorate state I might find approaching the decorating less daunting/pointless than it seems now.

I've tried mybuilder and checkatrade, both pretty useless tbh. I've also asked on Facebook - the ones from FB weren't interested but at least they weren't rude.

I will look into TaskRabbit, but I expect not being in Central London (I'm in the Zones, but only just) I may be outside it's remit.

I agree I need one person to take in on and co-ordinate what needs doing, I'd love to just say to someone 'here's £X, please sort my bloody house out'. I've spent hours just trying to get one person to quote for one task (I have tried the lure of 'obviously there are lots of other jobs I'll want doing...' but they've been so busy trying to overquote or comment on what a mess it is no-one's taken the bait).

If your house already has 14 rooms, why do you need to create two extra bedrooms and two extra bathrooms if your partner moves in?
Or is it a joke???

Or did you mean configure the existing rooms into bedrooms/bathrooms?
Do you have any bedrooms right now? Because you and DP could share...?

Sorry - by 'create' I mean make them into useable rooms. One bathroom is half finished (as mentioned above), the other one is less finished than that.

Again as mentioned above one of the bedrooms isn't useable currently. I also need to 'repurpose' a reception room as a bedroom (which again involves some work, as that room has no door etc).

I agree, thats an unreasonable estimate. SE here and house half the size - has just cost us £12,000 to repaint internally, fix some woodwork, redo both bathrooms and loo.

If you really want to do it yourself you'll need to take some time off work and do a solid blitz, or make a detailed list for each room and then go through the house doing a particular job (eg all the skirting boards) every evening/weekend until its done, then move onto the next type of job. That way you don't waste time changing, putting away and getting out equipment. But you will be utterly shattered and will barely see your new boyfriend.

I've got 4 bedrooms I can use currently - but my bf will need one as an office (it's a tiny guest bedroom/study at present), my DC have 2 of the others. The additional 2 I need to 'create' will be for his DC. And yes I know children don't have to have separate rooms, but in our case given the varying ages (mine are significantly older than his), and the fact all children currently have their own rooms, it is pretty essential.

Even if you haven't told the tradesmen your budget, I expect you're unrealistic about costs and that's why you think they're over quoting.
You are listing a lot of work there.
If they're not coming back with a lower quote when you say no, they're not over quoting. It's just that you don't want to pay the going rate.

I believe you that it's hard - I've had a lot of work done and before I found my regular guy (who is always busy) I was amazed at how many tradesmen didn't answer, call back, would just cancel, etc.

But it doesn't sound like when you get one round, you're not realistic about price.

You also need to grow a thick skin and not get uptight about people saying the house is a state!
Frankly, it sounds like it is!
I had several look at me dubiously and say "and you're living here during this?"
I didn't think it was that bad
Yeah, it's annoying when you want them to sort it not comment... But it's normal chit chat for many tradespeople, don't sweat it.

sorry I have to agree you are way under budget.

I don't agree I'm afraid - I think it's rude to pass comment on someone's house. If you want someone's work you shouldn't be slagging their home off!

And if someone says to me when looking at the work oh that's 5-7 days work to do XYZ, and comes back with a quote for £3k (no materials, just labour - and one person doing it), it's nothing to do with me not being realistic, they're deliberately over pricing.

You think it's rude. Plenty of people don't. I'm saying, grow a thick skin if you are rejecting tradesmen over that! At least, grow a thick skin if you want the work done!

I also think there's a different between walking in and saying "hate your taste in wallpaper, are you colour blind?" and seeing missing woodwork everywhere, two half and less than half done bathrooms and half the doors off and saying "cor, bit of a state here!"

Most of my people commented that I'd got my work cut out, was brave, it was a state etc... just felt like chat to me. But then, I'd just moved in and am quite a relaxed person. Are you taking it more personally because it hasn't improved and time has flown by? Don't worry about it. They're not judging YOU, they're just chatting.

Are they all coming back with c£400 a day rates?
I'm not in the SE but £200 a day isn't unusual here so maybe it is double in London. Bloody hell though!

Are you getting quoted daily rate or on a price though? If that's on a price with an estimate of days then it will seem overpriced per day. It's useful to get some day rate quotes to see what's the going rate in your area.

I think making a list of all the jobs room by room like Makeitacider suggests is a good idea. Tempting thought it is to offer a tradesman £x and say sort it out. That isn't how most tradesman work. They have to estimate materials and hours of work for each job and then quote otherwise they'd go bust in no time. I don't think getting some general handyperson is a good idea. Thought there are always exceptions. They're fine for small jobs but not large ones.

It is a big job. There's no getting a way from that. And a lot of workman don't like sorting out half finished jobs. And these project managers usually cost the earth. Well worth it if you can afford it but in central London I expect the cost would be massive. Hope you get things sorted eventually.

I have connections in the building trade.
is it fair to say you need the following skilled workers ?
plumber
joiner
tiler
carpet fitter.

decorating is hard work but doable. can your bf help you at the weekends ?

Try a letting agent, they're usually a goldmine for knowing handymen.

I do agree with your original point that it would be a waste not to renovate before selling .
I know you didn't ask this but might it be an idea to renovate and sell before your bf and kids move in?
much easier to keep it looking freshly done up that way !

Whereabouts in the zones are you, OP? North, south, east, west? I could probably recommend someone if in the right area.

The problem is no one can see any profit in the job you want doing. So they're not tempted to quote for it. Sorting half-finished stuff, when the materials have already been bought, cuts their margin, it's just labour costs. That's why no one fancies it.

But if you get the plumbing done, say, then move onto the woodwork (handyman type), then you'll get somewhere even if slowly.

Have you tried putting an an ad in the newsagent's window for a general handyman, say you'll pay £200 day rate and provide all materials. I reckon you might get someone retired who can do most of it.

Things like fixing skirting boards, hanging doors etc is an absolute piece of piss and I'd do it myself. There are tutorials all over YouTube. Even if you just hang one door per weekend you'll save yourself loads of cash.