Disabled through the back door

[jammypuddingmonkey]

How unreasonable is it for me to be cross about someone saying that a disabled person is only allowed to use the back door for access, that they shouldn't want to use the front door? It feels a bit like disability discrimination...

This is in the house they live in, not a commercial building, nothing to do with anything regarding making the house accessible either. It's not that a ramp is only to one door, or anything like that.

The front door is nearest to the road. The back door isn't usable alone for the person, because of construction faults with it. The front door is usable independently.

The front door is accessible, but apparently is only to be used in an emergency, not day to day life.

So... The disabled person shouldn't answer the front door, or use it at all, they should only use the back door. It's not access within the house, it's literally that- you shouldn't use the front door, only the back, because you're disabled. Said almost like that, too... Previously said that the person should spend most of their time in the back of the house, too.

I'll add that there's ramps to both doors, both are widened. You have to pass the front door to get to the back door anyway.

Anyone an OT? Is this honestly the official opinion? Disabled only allowed to use the back door? Should stay out the main rooms? Hide away? There were worse comments made... I won't go into it all, too long!

Or is this expecting too much- wanting to use the front door...

This has been said several times to us. But yesterday was said directly- why do you want to use the front door? why?!

When so many other things are taken away by disability, so much independence lost and having to accept that, something small like deciding to use the front door because its easier surely shouldn't be a decision made by anyone other than the person who lives there?

He once started shouting and swearing on the phone to someone as to vote in the ge he didn't want to do it by post but in person and demanded the station was made accessible.

Well, it should be. If he has to use postal votes because of completely avoidable access issues, then that means disabled people with similar disabilities have less time to make a decision on their vote, in order to send it in time to be counted!

Disabled people should have as much opportunity to be swing voters in the last hectic days of electioneering as anyone else.

OP, I can't know as I wasn't there, but I think the OT wasn't properly listening. She just assumed, and so just didn't get that whichever door you use, that ramp needs to be fixed. She should have been listening, and it really, really, really sucks for you that getting anything done has to be this difficult.

If you've been having intense battles prior to this, then you must really need a break, and have repairs and adjustments, just for once, to be straightforward and easy.

Q: But why do you WANT to use your front door
A: Well, apart from the fact that it's my front door, the rear door is less accessible because of X Y and Z.

Job done.

I'm just confused because the question makes no sense in the limits context the OP shared. I not denying that it is a constant fight to get things done or that the OP should just use the back door. (Unless there is a damn good reason such as the house being set on a hill and the back door has flat access to ground level. Which does not appear to be the case.)

Sorry the posts are confusing. No OT would say that you "cannot" use a particular door in your house> How would they know what you were doing???

What she/he probably did was advise on the basis of a risk assessment. You have modifications to both doors I assume - installed and paid for - so what is your problem? You don't like her advice? Her advice is professional not "disablist" FFS. What are her reasons?

OF course they make assessments. I have been advised to do all sorts of things with my elderly, (dementia) mother. It is advice - that's all.

I am glad I don't have to deal with you. And your husband? What does he say?

I was objecting to the 'be grateful, stop moaning' post

Well I think being grateful is important, particularly when you have received free services. I didn't say OP shouldn't vent about her frustrations, but I'm still confused as to why she is unhappy with the access OTs have provided. Her assertion that the OT was 'on a power-trip' is bizarre. She has ramp-access at both doors, the ramp was repaired, she and her husband can use whichever door they choose (regardless of which door the OT recommends). If OP is worried about the metal being slippery she can buy some grips or a rubber ramp-mat.

Many disabled people are on long waiting-lists to receive a ramp and other adaptations. Many are unable to get out of their home independently until doorways are adapted and a ramp installed. Imagine you are unable to get in and out of your house without significant help, then you are provided with a ramp, handrails and a widened doorway to re-store your independence. Would you be appreciative of this service or would you complain that you wanted ramps at both doors, as you have the right to choose which door to use? What about all the other people still waiting for a ramp, who are still stuck indoors?

My friend's grandparents can't use their front door in winter, because the wood swells up and gets stuck. So they use the back door instead and are content to do so. The back door is less convenient as it's further to walk and they're both frail (grandma uses a wheeled-walker frame). Should they demand the council comes out and fixes their front door free of charge, because they have the 'right' to use both doors depending which they prefer? Or is it their responsibility to get the front door fixed/replaced with a more suitable door?

Likewise, my elderly disabled neighbour has a board across her bath that she sits on to use the shower. She can't get in and out of the bath, but she can sit on the bath-board and use the shower attachment independently. It's not ideal, but she's happy she can wash without help and is grateful to the OT for providing this equipment. In an ideal world she would have an electric-bath-lift (a chair that goes in and out of bath) as she would prefer a bath. I mentioned this to her OT, who explained there are very strict criteria for supplying electric-bath-lifts and neighbour doesn't meet criteria as she is able to use bath-board and shower, and does not have a medical reason for needing a bath rather than a shower. If she wants a bath-lift she can purchase or rent one privately. This sounds reasonable to me. Neighbour is still grateful for the service she received. There is a limited number of available bath-lifts, so it makes sense they go to those who need them most. Why do so many people think the NHS has unlimited resources? OTs try to meet personal preferences wherever possible, but they still have to work within policies and budgets.

what does 'sceptical biscuit' mean?

I am a social worker who undertakes functional assessments (very basic OT work - bathing adapatations, rails and toilet aids etc). The vast majority of service users and their families/friends are polite and grateful. They realise that I work for an organisation that is beyond stretched and that I'll do my best. I am honest about the limitations and the reasons from the get go, which helps. I'd say about 95% of people express gratitude and thanks. I don't expect it, of course and it's not why I went in the job. I'm saying this because on MN, there this bizarre attitude towards some public sector workers, as if we personally refuse care packages for a laugh rather than because we have no other choice.

People, unfortunately, do misunderstand (occasionally purposefully ) what professionals say e.g. I might ask if someone has a relative/friend/whoever to assist with shopping/bathing/whatever. This can get read as me refusing to commission a service, whereas I'm exploring all the options.