Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to tell my daughter that she should be happy and to get over it

32 replies

yestheyhavethesamedad · 04/08/2015 11:53

My dd just got her Nat5 results in she got 2 As and 4 Bs and a D and she is in tears because the D means that she has to resit a subject she isn't even looking at the rest of her results she is just seeing the bad so aibu to say to her to get a grip ( this is not a stealth boast but a genuine question)

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 04/08/2015 11:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ApocalypseThen · 04/08/2015 11:57

Maybe let her get over the shock before telling her how to feel?

PercyGherkin · 04/08/2015 11:58

Yes. I have no idea what Nat5 is but she's upset, the D is clearly below her other results and she'll have to do the exam again, even resitting even if you then get a higher grade can have ramifications for some exams as they expect you to give the result you first got - and your reaction is to tell her to get a grip? How about listening to her, repeating you are proud of her and will support her?

TeenAndTween · 04/08/2015 11:58

I guess it depends on what she was expecting.

On the whole, today I think just console her about the D, tell her it's not the end of the world, and well done for the other results.

And repeat.

If she's still going on in a few days then you can be a bit more robust.

(We are awaiting GCSEs on 20th)

scarlets · 04/08/2015 11:58

The D will have taken the shine off the other (fab) results. It's a shame, but it's a natural response. Re-sitting is a pita. I hope she feels better soon, and can celebrate the excellent grades.

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 11:59

Och thats a shame can she drop the subject do they really need to resit (dd2 was the last to do standard grades) let her wail and moan for a bit and tell her to suck it upits not that bad and look how well you did they build themselves up to such a tizz there is not going to be a reasonable conversation with her today.

Georgethesecond · 04/08/2015 11:59

Give her time! Let her feelings take their course, praise her for what she did get good grades in, she will be more realistic about it soon I should think.

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 12:01

Yeah I agree give her time

Bakeoffcake · 04/08/2015 12:01

What's Nat5 please?

I think you should acknowledge it is a pain in the bum to resit and disappointing but that she needs to remember she's done really well in her other exams. It will sink in with her eventually!

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 12:03

Scottiish exams Gcse age

DawnOfTheDoggers · 04/08/2015 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 12:05

Oh i thought they were the new standard grades eek im out of touch dd got her 6th year higher results

Original poster
yestheyhavethesamedad · 04/08/2015 12:05

I have told her proud I am, she has told her friends i'm more excited about her results than she is , the subject she got the d in was one she transferred to last year so only had a year to do whilst everyone else had 2 years so having to redo just means that she will have the same time as everyone else to do the subject. I think im just feeling upset because for the last month she has been telling me she is going to drop one of her subjects as a higher because she thought she was going to fail and instead got a B so feel she should be happy and incredibly proud of herself

OP posts:
Original poster
yestheyhavethesamedad · 04/08/2015 12:06

Mrsjayy yes they are the new standard grades

OP posts:
pinkje · 04/08/2015 12:06

Nat 5 are the new standard grades - so gcse (o level) equivalent.

A D is not a bad fail, does she need to resit it before they let her do the higher?

cuntycowfacemonkey · 04/08/2015 12:08

It's probably just a knee jerk reaction from her. Let her have a pity party today and if she's still wallowing tomorrow gently encourage her to move on!

Mrsjayy · 04/08/2015 12:10

Oh ok i thought so,

Purplepoodle · 04/08/2015 12:11

I did well in my gcse. I was gutted I got a c in one subject - I knew I was being unreasonable but I was still gutted about the C. BUT I did get a grip after a couple of days and focused on moving on to the next stage

UnsolvedMystery · 04/08/2015 12:15

She's allowed to be upset and disappointed that she didn't get the grades that she wanted and will have to resit.
She will be happy about her other grades but give her the space she needs to feel how she does feel without telling her how she should feel.

fourtothedozen · 04/08/2015 12:25

I sympathise. DS has just got his Higher results two hours ago. Not as great as expected but enough to get him to University.

What is the subject she has failed? Is it even worth resitting? Is it a necessary subject for waht she hopes to do?

ThisisMrsNicolaHicklin · 04/08/2015 12:33

Is there any chance the D is a mistake? The reason I ask is that I got almost exactly the same grades on my Standard grades including a shock fail.
It turned out there had been a mistake. My paper got mixed up with someone else's. In the end I got my prelim mark. SGs had been running for donkey's years when this happened so I imagine the potential for mistakes in a new system isuch higher.
Be nice to her, my experience was more years ago than I care to admit but I can still remember how rubbish it felt.

Epilepsyhelp · 04/08/2015 12:36

I'd feel the same as her, such a disappointment. Ask for a re-mark and to see the paper.

MackLin · 04/08/2015 14:06

Poor DD. I'm a secondary teacher; lots of kids feeling the same way today I'm sure.
Epilepsyhelp-a remark can mean the mark goes DOWN too, and rarely does it result in enough of a change to affect a grade. If OP's DD should have got a better grade then school will advise her to get a remark (which will cost OP money for most likely nothing).
If a D at N5, I'd be advising different subjects for this year. There's very little point in resitting a Nat5 and Higher is off the table until a pass at N5 obtained (grade C or better, for those not in Scotland as I know GCSE is different).
Hope she gets over it. She should be proud of her other results.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 04/08/2015 15:51

No you don't just tell someone to be happy and get over it. Hate that statement Get over it. Life is never as simple as that.

Theycallmemellowjello · 04/08/2015 15:52

I think it's perfectly natural to be upset about missing the grades one hoped for and especially to have to go through the stress of resitting an exam. I had to resit an exam once and it was really awful. She needs support not scorn.