Children in pubs

[Bleakhouse1879]

Is it unreasonable to take young children in to pubs?

This evening whilst I was enjoying a birthday pint, there were two ladies with their children in the pub, the children ran round the pub, climbed on the furniture and screamed and shouted. This continued for nearly an hour. Being a rather polite young man I didn't want to cause a scene so I left the pub.

I would like to know if there is a form of etiquette when approaching the parents to ask them to keep their children under control.
I understand children can get a bit mardy and it may be difficult for a stressed parent to bring under control, that's why I want advice from you my wonderful Mothers on here. Am I being unreasonable?

Wow many of you have jumped to the assumption that the mums were in the pub late and the guy didn't even say that.

Pub restaurants are two categories, family friendly, or not family friendly. People shouldn't allow their kids into the latter, and families should check the pub they intend to go to is family friendly. I don't see any problems parents going in for a drink in a family pub with their families, its up to the publican to tell them to go home at 8pm.

I went to a family pub the other day that had children running around at 11pm, that was a bit much!

I was always in pubs as a kid, and I take my ds to the pub now. But I don't let him run riot round the place. He sits with us and I have a bag of toys and snacks to keep him entertained.

I have worked in the same bar and there are some parents that take the piss, let the kids run crazy like its a soft play area and forget that people are carrying hot food and drinks. Unfortunately as usual its the minority who ruin it for the majority.

I used to be a barmaid, I also had a small child at the time

It depends on the pub.

''Family'' pub, that does food and has a beer garden- no problem with kids. But they should still be out by the evening

''Adult" pub, with no food/garden- absolutely not. I used to work in a pub like this. It was quite a trendy place, not a complete dive or anything.You'd always get the parents who would come in and sit drinking/talking for a bit while their children ran wild and their huge prams blocked my route.

We had a woodburning stove, and the number of children I had to rescue from burning themselves. Then there were the children who would stand on the open plan, iron staircase and throw crisps at my head. Then there was the kids with the football. Mummy was too busy sipping her sauvignon to give two shits

It wasn't the kids fault- they were bored stupid. Kids of about 8 upwards were OK- they could mostly sit in a corner reading a book/on their tablet, so I didn't mind them as much. But bringing very small children into a bar..madness

One memorable occasion, a two year old wandered behind the bar and wouldn't move. Lovely little thing. I couldn't touch the child, (made that mistake before)and Mummy dearest wouldn't get him out, so I ended up getting him to help me stack plastic bottles, squash down empty cardboard boxes, and polish the woodwork. After about an hour of this, the bloody parents decided to go, thank god, and the mother says ''Now now Ben, say thank you to the nice lady for keeping you occupied!'

I ended up buying things out of my own meagre wages in order to keep the children occupied. I had a big box of crayons, colouring books, paper, little cheap plastic figurines from the poundshop, playdo. I oncegot the spare sewing kit and made a little girl a sock puppet out of her remaining sock- she'd lost the other one and her mum shouted at her, but STILL let her run about bare foot on the floor. I nearly boked watching her, because I cleaned that pub til it shone, but there is ALWAYS the odd bit of glass. So the sock puppet was an effort to get her to stay still.

As a mother myself, I was just shocked at the amount of people who seemed to have no concept of their child's safety, in a place with fire, glass, hard tiles....

By the way, these weren't ''scummy'' people drinking tinnies. I live in a nice, touristy village, and the clientele ranged from locals, farmers, yacht people, general tourists.

Anyway,in hindsight maybe I should thank those parents- I love kids, and i did enjoy doing stuff with them at times, and this year I am changing career and will be a TA

Yabu to think children shouldn't be allowed in pubs but ywnbu to expect parents to control their children. My ds has often been in pubs but he is well behaved and polite.

at least children on the continent know how to behave compared to British brats.

Clearly you have never had the pleasure of dealing with an Italian or French school party at a visitor attraction.

Rambling I think you will find that the Spanish have a thing called a siesta in the afternoon due to the heat. This may explain why children there are able to stay up longer. Clearly there is no need of such a thing in this country. Just a thought.

Compos - I have dealt with French (not Italians) school parties - one was at the aquarium in La Rochelle... yes they are vile.

When they're en famille they tend to behave impeccably (French friends...) probably because it's treated more as a social/family occasion and also as they're usually given wine young (with water) they don't see it as 'taboo' as we do and when teenagers often drink soft drinks.

I'm not averse to children in pubs. We take our grandchildren to pubs all the time. I think it's a good way to socialise them into the adult world. It usually involves a meal, family get together. That kind of thing and is very enriching for children.

I am averse to badly behaved children in pubs. That's a totally different matter.

If an adult went into pub and just screamed and screamed they would be removed and it's the same with children.

I had to laugh yesterday morning at breakfast a mum brought two very little boys, possibly 2-3 year old twins and sat them down. I heard her have words with one of them whom I thought was the older of the two, saying something about a high chair. Clear as day he shouted ' no, I don't want to go into a high chair. I had to have another look, it sounded like a ten year old lol!

I've noticed that a lot of family type pubs have removed their children's playgrounds. Was that because a minority of parents weren't supervising their children and accidents were happening.

If so. Shae.

ah Dowser that is a shame... really there should be soft areas (that springy tarmac?) for children to land even in playgrounds even in pubs but I suppose this could get expensive.

we used to... as kids well we were about 9 and 7 - there was a local pub to us that had a beer garden where we were allowed but across the street (quiet street) was a big pyramid structure (concrete) with a slide on it that we went on supervised (seats were outside the pub windows too). One day we noticed a promotion if you collected crisp packet tokens you could send off (plus P&P) for lunchboxes (plastic), so my brother and I spent that afternoon eating crisps or asking people nicely for empty crisp packets - the pub staff actually gave us some more crisps free. We got the lunchboxes.

This was back in the day when games rooms were 'for children' children were not generally allowed in pubs evening even when pouring with rain and when we were on camping holidays wanted shelter (when it was raining).

I remember another pub down Sandhurst way - this one had a beer garden with climbing frame - my parents were so elated/relieved to find a pub with this which allowed children (not inside the pub apart from toilets) in 1970s/80s that that pub got a lot of custom/like.

But we were well behaved kids compared to I think a few that are around now.

Pubs with playgrounds are generally awful places to be, poor quality beer, wine, food and behaviour of adults and children.
Despite having children we avoid these places.

Loafliner pubs with playgrounds are generally awful NOW but back in the olden days they were a sanctuary for my otherwise frazzled parents. One of the pubs I named got an Evening Standard Pub of the Year Award.

The old licencing laws that banned all children under 14 were a very handy way of keeping women out of pubs.

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We were eating outside at Macdonalds and small kid was jumping about and shouting over to us and swearing. Tried to catch parents eye but they were busy talking in their own language. So... went inside and mentioned it to chap in charge. He had a friendly word. Said it wasn't the first time someone had complained. Even apologised for them! Best go through staff every time. Will go back.

I think it really depends on the pub, some pubs have more kids than adults because they are particularly child friendly and have play areas etc.

Badly behaved children in some pubs are a reason to remind parents to parent and managers to manage. Not to ban all children from all pubs.

We take ours for dinner in a lovely local pub at least once a month. I know a few people who won't take their children there because the manager is "bossy" (she has a sign that says 'unattended children will be fed Red Bull and promised Mummy or Daddy will buy them a puppy; and one that says 'anyone disturbing other patrons, be they tall, short, sober or drunk, will be asked to leave') and she doesn't take any crap. They also don't have a super cheap children's menu, instead you can 'only' order small portions of the main menu.

There's another place locally as well (one with a play area) and you wouldn't get me in there for any money because the manager actively encourages families to stay all day with drink promotions which results in hyper, bored kids running riot while their parents get drunk. Bad management and bad parenting imo.

I don't think children should be allowed in pubs but that's probably because mine are all grown and my tolerance level for other people's chikdren is rapidly decreasing. And TBH it's people like me that parents have to contend with.
I'd be more than happy to see the return of chidten's rooms or games rooms. I'd often be abandoned in one to fend for myself whilst my parents drank themselves silly in the bar.

Beer gardens aren't very nice any more because they're full of smokers now.

I have smallish children so obviously I spend a lot of time in family places and I have to say I believe children are generally very well behaved. From this thread you'd think every pub in the country was full of feral kids.

redfairy children's rooms or games rooms in my experience only work for kids over the age of 5. I've seen kids under that age being let loose to run around the pub with no-one watching them...

there was another pub I remember going into with my parents that had a huge (and very pretty beer garden but with pond) and lots of lovely benches. we were let in this garden again with permission from the landlord. and my parents stayed outside with us all night (summer evenings!). we were about 7 and 9 but my parents knew even then to keep an eye on us and not let us run riot.

blonde there are not a lot of feral kids in this country but you've only got to look at other threads on MN to see that some parents (of all classes) don't want to or inadequately parent their children - I don't care if they do this at home - but when they're out in an adult environment they should know how to act in an appropriate manner.

the vast majority of parents parent their children well when out in public in a good way it's the minority that makes someone want to create a thread or similar like this.

We're clearly more blessed in our city than most as I can think of at least two family friendly pubs in beautiful locations where the wine, beer and food is good, the beer garden has a play area and the children and adults are well behaved. It's utopia. We even get to indulge in a proper conversation while 4yo ds plays happily with other children.

Do Guardian journalists just read Mumsnet then write up an article based on the most popular threads? I've seen probably half a dozen articles now that just seem to be lifted from here.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/sep/03/pub-goers-children-badly-behaved-complaint-good-pub-guide