Children in pubs

[Bleakhouse1879]

Is it unreasonable to take young children in to pubs?

This evening whilst I was enjoying a birthday pint, there were two ladies with their children in the pub, the children ran round the pub, climbed on the furniture and screamed and shouted. This continued for nearly an hour. Being a rather polite young man I didn't want to cause a scene so I left the pub.

I would like to know if there is a form of etiquette when approaching the parents to ask them to keep their children under control.
I understand children can get a bit mardy and it may be difficult for a stressed parent to bring under control, that's why I want advice from you my wonderful Mothers on here. Am I being unreasonable?

I love the idea of only taking children to places with Morris dancers so nobody notices their behaviour. Maybe you could hire a troupe for the whole school holidays - the possibilities are endless!

But this is MN and you'll probably be told that the kids all had sn and what you should have done is bought them all a drink and offered to take them home and babysit them for a few hours to give the mums a break

There's absolutely no reason to be this rude. This is a blatant attempt to silence anyone that might even mention SNs, as it sets them up for ridicule and hostility.

It someone brings up SNs, try engaging sensibly and intelligently and you'll probably find that they are parents, just like most everyone else on here, and their children are children, just like everyone else's children. Most parents of children with SNs have stated on the numerous prior threads where people get nasty about SNs comments that they as parents do not allow their children to run loose, but that often controlling the noise is difficult and that it would be helpful if people could be more accepting in that regard.

I don't need a break from my dcs with SNs. I need a break from judgemental nasty comments that people make with astounding regularity.

OP - the children running around like that does seem to be a hazard. Rather than confront the parents, I would think having a quiet word with an employee or management would be the best thing to do.

Depends on the pub. There are two pubs near me which are family pubs, highchairs and kids meals etc. we take our 8 month their if we are eating out for whatever reason, they both have play areas too. I think its pretty easy to determine which pubs are and arent child friendly.

I think its more should kids be able to run riot in pubs and the answer is no. especially if they are old enough to be being taught manners about dining out in public.

The pub/restaurants near where I live have signs up saying children are not allowed in the bar area but parents allow their children to come to the bar with them when they order drinks and the staff never say anything to them.
There are often indoor play areas for children and yet parents still allow their children to run around the tables in the eating areas.

If you were having birthday drinks in the evening then YANBU - in particular that if there were children present they should have been under closer control.

However, YABU to not want children in pubs at all, eg; a family Sunday pub lunch is perfectly child-friendly.

Best - I think if the pub is 'family' - you can usually tell from the menu/beer garden etc then people ABU if they don't expect children to be there with their parents.

However... the children need to be supervised - I almost think a supervised games room would be good but this would add extra cost. even if the children are in the beer garden they need to be supervised by adults/parents to ensure no accidents.

a more 'adult' pub I personally think it is unfair to both the children/parents/other patrons of pub to let children roam/play there particularly as there is often nothing for them to do and the venues are ripe for accidents/boredom.

We often take our dcs and dog to the pub for a drink, we play card games and chat. We ensure that neither the dog or the dcs behave badly, but we have witnessed other dcs being complete pains in the butt - it would be a shame if these families ruined it for the rest of us.

However... the children need to be supervised

And it is this issue that is sadly lacking in many boozers. Far too many parents just get pissed around a table and leave their kids to tear around the place causing trip hazards for pub staff and being generally annoying for everyone else. I have no problems with children in pubs so long as they are well behaved and that there is a general understanding that it is an 'adult' environment where to put it bluntly children's 'rights' do not trump those of the adults. I have seen parents chastise other pub patrons for swearing within earshot of their kids and I am left thinking it is 9pm on a Saturday what the hell are they even doing in here.

I do wonder sometimes... parents with children - well most children under age of 10 a bedtime of what 9pm at latest is recommended? yet how many times have I seen children in pubs even family run ones, where obviously the children are tired, running around on adrenaline, fed on crisps, fizzy drinks etc and running amok too.

the landlords sometimes don't want to make a fuss so what then? police doing nightly patrols? maybe this would be a good idea.

we have all seen the feckless parents who let their children run riot in the pub... and don't care much about parenting their angels.

Loafliner it is different if your children are in the pub eg in daytime at weekends. however some people prefer not to see children in the pub in the evenings at all - especially in an adult pub compared to a family one. it's like me as an adult - going to a soft play area or kiddies gym - I'd be chucked out in a minute because I'm an adult and they are childrens zones. why can't some pubs be treated as adult zones?!

I would email the establishment if I had felt it necessary to leave and tell them that I had left because they failed to tell customers to keep their charges in order.

IMHO, the more times the parents are allowed to have their children being rowdy in a pub/cafe/restaurant, the more their attitude will be that it's OK when it really isn't.

In my former life as a waitress, rowdy children are always met with colouring books and crayons and the promise of one of my stickers "for good children" and to be honest, most children got a sticker (or 3)

RULE: If your children cannot behave in public and you do not have the sense to bring things to keep them quiet (colouring books, ipad etc) then do not take them out - arrange something different - picnic in the park, dinner at your house - it's not difficult.

takeinyour

yes the examples of 'good' children as opposed to running screaming monsters are great to see and not that hard to put in place by either parents or an establishment.

in fact it's good to get children used to eating out and interacting with other people including clientele, waiting staff etc... and how to use cutlery etc properly.

I do think sometimes though that some parents just don't care about children behaving in public, indeed see it as their 'right' to let little Johnny run around... and as someone else said on this thread if little Johnny runs into waiting staff gets hot liquid spilled on him then the parent threatens to sue. Good god....

I think so many pubs in particular are in danger of going bust these days that they bow down to these entitled parents and their offspring.

I couldnt possibly comment because one persons ran round, screamed etc is another persons, they were actually sat and playing nicely but made one squeak that set off the up tight miserable brits who hate children bridgehead

I do wonder sometimes... parents with children - well most children under age of 10 a bedtime of what 9pm at latest is recommended? yet how many times have I seen children in pubs even family run ones, where obviously the children are tired, running around on adrenaline, fed on crisps, fizzy drinks etc and running amok too

Never go to spain super will you - children on the continent stay up -
( whispers) very late, sometimes till....midnight.

I know this must shock you, I hope your sat down.

*I think if the pub is 'family' - you can usually tell from the menu/beer garden etc then people ABU if they don't expect children to be there with their parents

In an ideal world yes.

However I have been in many a "family" pub with the odd up tight sneering brit, giving evils because the baby or toddler made a sound, once, twice
( as I rushed out to calm them down so as not disturb people, but not quickly enough for some of these up tight miserable arses).

I think behaving in public depends upon the behaviour a child is capable of. My son is often very noisy (not rowdy) but still well behaved and I certainly wouldn't leave/stay home because of it.

If there is a kids menu, highchairs and changing facilities then I consider it fair game. that being said, I would never ever allow my children to run around in either a pub, restaurant or cafe. If they can't behave then I remove them.

I find the attitude to no children in pubs a bit odd (I live in France, kids are more than welcome in bars here).

My son's DDad died suddenly recently (in England) and we came over for the funeral. The family decided to hold the wake in the local pub, and DS (12) wasn't allowed to attend I couldn't quite believe it, I doubt DS will ever forgive them for it.

Children in many types of pubs - fine, no problem.

However, the children ran round the pub, climbed on the furniture and screamed and shouted - this is a problem whatever time and whatever type of pub

Yes Rambling, but we're not talking about Spain. British pubs and British drinking culture are quite different to the continent. I look forward to taking my DD abroad when she's a bit older and enjoying the child friendly bars and restaurants but that's not what we're talking about on this thread.

Gastro pub at Midday on a Tuesday = fine
Drinking pub at 9pm on a Friday = not fine

I rarely take my kids to pubs as it just isn't the right place for them toddler needs to burn off his energy although we've been to a few recently for family do's etc. Always in the daytime though.

I remember making plans to meet my friend at a local (very much a drinking pub but also does amazing food). We had a table for 8pm and I got a text from her at 7:45 saying "me and DS will be leaving in 5"..... I had to text back and point out that kids probably wouldn't be allowed and quite frankly I didn't fancy the thought of having to worry about a friends 2 YO all evening.

My friend honestly didn't see an issue bringing her toddler with her to the pub at 8pm on a Saturday night she didn't bring her son in the end thankfully

I wouldn't mind but they never even get a round in, spongers

To me its common sense.

There are two types of parents - the first kind look after their children (ok there might be a little trantrum...but), keep them occupied, bring things like colouring books and get their children to behave while out and actually have family time together, and are getting their children to learn how to behave in public - which is lovely.

The other type of parent, lets call them crap parents let their kids run round like wild animals and dont give a shit, do not give their kids any time or attention or discipline and have brought them to the pub but do not intend to spend the time as 'family' time, they have just come out for drinks and the kids have been dragged along. - Not nice - get a babysitter and leave the little shits at home, because its not the pub or the public's responsibility to drag up your kids!

rambling at least children on the continent know how to behave compared to British brats.

Rambling in a family pub no its not nice for children/babies etc to be made unwelcome...

we had a baby and toddler behind us last week and they couldn't have been better behaved/charming etc but the parents were obviously in baby's case - aware to their needs and not like another couple letting the kids run around.

This pub in particular, it's big with lots of doors, one leading out onto a main road 2 leading out onto 2 garden areas, 1 paved and one grassed, so if the kids had fallen on the paved area or ran in the main road what would their parents have done then? and their parents were sitting eating and drinking not keeping much of an eye on their kids...