Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

2 money situations all on same day

61 replies

PeggySangtheBlues · 03/08/2015 16:44

little bit mortified to have to ask but I am in two minds.

This morning was money issue central...

Number 1 - I knocked over a drink at SIL's house on Saturday. Completely accidentally spilt a drink on a laptop that I hadn't known was under the table. It was fine, though this morning I was asked by SIL to pay for a new one as apparently it has just died.

I did break it and I did, in my mortification after accidentally spilling, offer to pay towards it (though I hadn't expected to be asked to pay for a while new one). Dh offered to go halves with me as he knew I was going to struggle after number 2 (see below), and I paid, but I guess I hadn't expected to actually be asked. It's something I would never have asked even if someone offered (even if I was broke) because my philosophy is generally "shit happens. I left it out in a silly place, so I deal with it".

If DS had broken it I don't think they would have asked.

I have paid them for a new one, but I don't know if I am being unreasonable to be a bit depressed about it - I guess I just thought we were family so it wouldn't be such an issue. They definitely didn't need the money (this is fact - I don't want t out myself with any more detail though - please just take my word for it) so I feel like its just caused an awkward situation now.

We're having them round next weekend and I think it will just be awkward.

Number 2 - Dsis has randomly decided to just up and leave her job and town and move back to our hometown. She has quit her job and signed for what I think is a pretty expensive house. as she has no job, she has been asked for 6 months' rent up front.

She has asked me to pay for 4 moths' rent (£2400) and she will pay me back each month as she gets paid. She hasn't even considered that she may not get a job immediately or that it may not pay the ridiculous £600 a month in rent alone. I am 100% positive I wont get the entire amount back.

If I say no to this, she will borrow from my pensioner grandparents who never say no, and they wont get paid back, which I just couldn't live with myself if I allowed.

I feel totally backed into a corner on this.

When you add the two together, you see how bad my day has been. I work insanely hard for my money and I have a lot of debt still to pay off from my student and professional conversion days. I just feel a bit like everyone is taking the piss a bit. I suppose I ABU...

OP posts:
atticusclaw · 03/08/2015 16:50

I would be asking SIL to claim it on her insurance and paying the excess for her. Surely it's insured.

"Hi SIL, I've just realised that the laptop will be insured, thank goodness since paying for it outright would have wiped me out! I am silly for not thinking about it at the time. Could you let me know what the excess will be and I will gladly pay that but I will need the additional money back. Thank goodness for insurance! x"

DSis needs to grow up and accept that she can't have things she can't afford. I would tell her this and tell her that if she borrows it from your grandparents then it will have a serious effect on your relationship.

I have a similar DSis. My patience has been worn down over the years...

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/08/2015 16:51

Well the laptop incident would piss me off but you've paid now so put it to the back of your mind and move on, if you generally get on with your SiL next weekend will be fine.

Do not lend £2400 to your sister, if your gp's lent it to her that's up to them.

Do not be a pushover.

lemoncordial · 03/08/2015 16:52

Could the laptop be claimed on contents insurance then you you offer to pay the excess?

GloGirl · 03/08/2015 16:52

Say yes to your sil and no to your sister

AcrossthePond55 · 03/08/2015 16:53

#1-shit does happen, but when it does you just have to pay for it. If someone spilt on my laptop, I'd expect them to pay for it. BUT, if I were the 'spiller', before I did I'd pay to have it looked at to see if it could be repaired. Many places will have a look for a fee and will apply part or all of that fee towards a new one if it turns out the old isn't repairable.

#2-No, no, and no. It may sound foolish, but I'd rather 'bail out' my pensioner grandparents than my sister, even if she was the cause of the problem. BTW, are your parents/aunts/uncles around to intervene with their parents (your grandparents)? If so, I'd certainly contact them. Someone renting above their ability to pay is certain to be a drain on vulnerable friends/relatives.

Original poster
PeggySangtheBlues · 03/08/2015 16:54

Apparently they need a new one asap because BIL has work to do. They don't want to wait for the insurance to pay out and they don't want a higher premium. I did ask.

OP posts:
FundamentalistQuaker · 03/08/2015 16:54

You can't save your parents from themselves. Whether they lend or not is up to them, though in your place I would caution them strongly against it. Don't do it yourself though. And yes, if your sister goes to them and doesn't pay them back I would give her the cold shoulder.

Gartenzwerg · 03/08/2015 16:56

That's ridiculous. Can't BIL borrow one ? Can you lend him yours ? Sounds like they are taking the piss royally

AndNowItsSeven · 03/08/2015 16:56

A lot of insurance companies only allow so many claims. Also premiums will go up. It's not just as simple as paying the access.
Your SIL should have gone halves with you though, why did she leave a laptop under the table?
Tell your sister no, it's not your fault if your DGP's are taken advantage of.

ImperialBlether · 03/08/2015 16:56

How much do you trust your SIL? How old is the laptop?

I would be amazed if a spilled drink meant the laptop never worked again. Tell her you will take it to a repair shop.

As for your sister, tell her to get a bank loan. Don't lend her the money and give your grandparents a heads up, too.

NoelHeadbands · 03/08/2015 16:57

Well I'd say you have one money situation, which is the laptop and that's done now.

The other money situation is your sisters, not yours. I'd help my sister if I could of course, but I know damn well that neither of them would expect it of me. Tell her you can't help this time

whois · 03/08/2015 16:58

Is have offered to go halves on the new laptop, given putting a laptop under a table used for food and drinks is pretty stupid so they bear some responsibility for not putting laptop in a safe place.

Do not lend money to your sister. Obviously.

Gartenzwerg · 03/08/2015 16:58

Posted too soon. Can BIL borrow one until the repair potential is assessed at least ? Sounds like they saw the opportunity for a new laptop to be provided by you. Hi woke was the one you spilled your drink on ?

Gartenzwerg · 03/08/2015 16:59

Grr... Hi woke = how old

Original poster
PeggySangtheBlues · 03/08/2015 17:02

Thanks guys. I refused to pay more than £150 because he only uses the internet and word for work so I didn't think he needed a posh one. if he wants to spend more, he can pay the extra,

I am pretty annoyed about the lack of even trying to get it fixed. I suggested PC world but got fobbed off with "well he needs it for work so we need to go and buy one today".

I don't know what to believe. I feel thoroughly taken advantage of on so many counts today. And I am looking at a 14 hour day at work today which isn't helping.

I'm normally the type of person that doesn't take much crap from anyone, but i feel hemmed in today and thoroughly depressed about it.

OP posts:
PennilynLott · 03/08/2015 17:04

They need to get a second hand laptop, you're not an insurance company. And they need to go halves at least. It does sound like their fault.

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 03/08/2015 17:05

Your SIL put her laptop on the floor underneath the table?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/08/2015 17:05

If you feel taken advantage of and pissed off, cancel next weekend, I would.

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 03/08/2015 17:07

Also, tell your sister to do one. - its up to you grandparents whether they want to give/lend her money, not really any of your business (unless they are vulnerable adults which does of course change things)

bloodyteenagers · 03/08/2015 17:07

Who puts a laptop under a table?

Anyway how old is the machine?

Are they looking for a specific one?

He might need to do work on it, but what would he do if it had broke anyway?

atticusclaw · 03/08/2015 17:08

I think you should get the old laptop (which you can then have repaired, wiped and then you can stick it on eBay).

It is unlikely to be damaged beyond repair due to spilling a drink on it. I once put mine in a wheelie case with a can of coke and the coke exploded all over it. The laptop then sat in coke for three hours. It was dried out and was fine.

bloodyteenagers · 03/08/2015 17:09

And yes you want the old laptop back. It's yours, you have effectively bought it from them.
If they say no, well no cash.

LittleprincessinGOLDrocks · 03/08/2015 17:09

Tell sil to wrap the laptop in a towel. Lay the towel flat, cover it with a layer of rice, place laptop on top, wrap towel around and leave it alone for at least 3 days. Worked a treat when my kids spilt about 500mls of fresh Orange on my laptop. Got another 6 months out of it before hubby dropped it down the stairs...
Take it and try it yourself before she spends your money.
As for your sister say no. She has to learn to live within her means. If that means finding somewhere cheaper to live so be it. Enough is enough.

LazyLohan · 03/08/2015 17:15

You broke a laptop and only paid £150 towards a new one? You've got off extremely lightly. Plus if I was your brother I'd be fuming you'd given such a measly amount towards something you'd broken but were considering giving such a big amount to your sister. If you can afford to give your sister £2,400 you can afford to give more than that derisory amount to your brother.

IAmAShitHotLawyer · 03/08/2015 17:16

LazyLohan, do you know the OP? Sounds a bit like you do.