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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

2 money situations all on same day

61 replies

PeggySangtheBlues · 03/08/2015 16:44

little bit mortified to have to ask but I am in two minds.

This morning was money issue central...

Number 1 - I knocked over a drink at SIL's house on Saturday. Completely accidentally spilt a drink on a laptop that I hadn't known was under the table. It was fine, though this morning I was asked by SIL to pay for a new one as apparently it has just died.

I did break it and I did, in my mortification after accidentally spilling, offer to pay towards it (though I hadn't expected to be asked to pay for a while new one). Dh offered to go halves with me as he knew I was going to struggle after number 2 (see below), and I paid, but I guess I hadn't expected to actually be asked. It's something I would never have asked even if someone offered (even if I was broke) because my philosophy is generally "shit happens. I left it out in a silly place, so I deal with it".

If DS had broken it I don't think they would have asked.

I have paid them for a new one, but I don't know if I am being unreasonable to be a bit depressed about it - I guess I just thought we were family so it wouldn't be such an issue. They definitely didn't need the money (this is fact - I don't want t out myself with any more detail though - please just take my word for it) so I feel like its just caused an awkward situation now.

We're having them round next weekend and I think it will just be awkward.

Number 2 - Dsis has randomly decided to just up and leave her job and town and move back to our hometown. She has quit her job and signed for what I think is a pretty expensive house. as she has no job, she has been asked for 6 months' rent up front.

She has asked me to pay for 4 moths' rent (£2400) and she will pay me back each month as she gets paid. She hasn't even considered that she may not get a job immediately or that it may not pay the ridiculous £600 a month in rent alone. I am 100% positive I wont get the entire amount back.

If I say no to this, she will borrow from my pensioner grandparents who never say no, and they wont get paid back, which I just couldn't live with myself if I allowed.

I feel totally backed into a corner on this.

When you add the two together, you see how bad my day has been. I work insanely hard for my money and I have a lot of debt still to pay off from my student and professional conversion days. I just feel a bit like everyone is taking the piss a bit. I suppose I ABU...

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 03/08/2015 17:18

Lazy, I think the OP will find that wet laptop makes a miraculous recovery.

trollkonor · 03/08/2015 17:24

Do you have the broken lapto in your possession?

It could be left to dry out properly, dont power it up at all, then try it again or buy a replacemnet battery. Or you could sell it and get some money back.

atticusclaw · 03/08/2015 17:25

electronics are remarkably resistant to water damage. I put DS1's iPod through a two hour wash cycle the other week. 48 hours in a bowl of rice and it was fine again.

trollkonor · 03/08/2015 17:28

Agree,my son managed to spill a pint of water by his.

You do need patience and do a bit of googling.

UnsolvedMystery · 03/08/2015 17:29

The laptop should not have been left in such a stupid place. They were totally unreasonable about wanting the money off you immediately - sounds more like they wanted a new laptop and took advantage.
You have paid for it, so that "broken" laptop should now be in your possession so you can get it fixed and either use it or sell it.
Unless of course they are lying, and it isn't broken at all.

Boutonneux · 03/08/2015 17:41

Completely agree with PP that the laptop is very likely to be repairable. Another story here of a whole glass of coke spilled on a laptop and it was fine. I think your SiL is taking the piss quite frankly. If you've already paid up there's not much you can do but you definitely should ask for the "broken" one and get it fixed yourself (it cost me £50 from a laptop repair place) and you could then ebay it.

Regarding your sister and the 6 months rent - there is another option. We have poor credit rating so were unable to pass a credit check for our rented house, so my brother acted as a guarantor for us. I don't know if that's something you'd be willing to do and obviously you'd need to bear in mind that the LA would come to you for the rent if she missed any payments...

WayneRooneysHair · 03/08/2015 17:43

You can ask your sister for the laptop but she can rightfully say no, despite what some posters think you haven't 'effectively bought it' at all.

Theycallmemellowjello · 03/08/2015 17:49

The rice trick doesn't necessarily work if you have used the laptop before it dies. At that point it is combination of water damage and having overheated/homages parts by using while wet.

Francescal88 · 03/08/2015 17:53

Kind of irrelevant but the fact you think £600/month rent for a house is extortionate makes me want to cry. I'm currently trying to pass reference and credit checks to rent a two bedroomed, £875/month flat above a shop.

bloodyteenagers · 03/08/2015 17:57

I didn't do the rice thing. I just left it for days to dry out praying it would work (all my course work was on there)
survived.

And what it wrong with a measly £150?
The laptop is not new and you can pick a new one for this amount. If it was a high spec, uber expensive
One then they are truly idiots for not putting somewhere safer. But even then the 2nd hand value wouldn't be worth anything like they had paid.

CordeliaFoxx · 03/08/2015 17:58

Just thought I'd share that I spilt coffee on my laptop - it died instantly and could not be repaired, it does happen.

bigbumtheory · 03/08/2015 18:30

Cancel next weekend, you're annoyed and feel taken advantage of- why bother incurring more cost by hosting them? What does your DH think about it all? I'm surprised he didn't tell his sister she was taking the piss not letting you take a look at it and try for repairs.

Do not lend to your sister, tell her she needs to get a loan and stop taking advantage of people. If your grandparents lend then that's their business- personally I would help them not too if they feel pressured. I doubt you'll ever get the money back if you did.

People can only take the piss if you let them, don't give them the opportunity. Sadly, the laptop has passed but I'd cancel the weekend, cite no money.

ilovechristmas1 · 03/08/2015 19:34

my son spilled a sticky drink on my laptop,it died

op should pay for the laptop she broke

they should not have to claim on the insurance (if covered) they would have the hassle of claiming.increased future premiums and an excess

how is it the owners fault

mummytime · 03/08/2015 19:47

ilovechristmas1 - its the owner's fault because they left it somewhere stupid - under a table.
No don't give your sister the money. Try to not let your parents give it to her either, but sometimes pensioners are better off than those in work, and they are "adults".

Cancel next weekend. And start to take stock. Your sister needs to start taking the consequences of her actions and so does your SIL.
Start prioritising your little family, and maybe get some advice incase there is something you can do to speed getting out of debt.

Siarie · 03/08/2015 19:53

Number 1 YABU - Break something and you may have to pay for it, regardless of whether someone can afford to replace it for you or not. Not everyone has insurance for everything, particularly accidental cover. Even thought in this case they do but have said they don't want to use it.

Number 2 - YANBU, but you don't have to pay its up to you. If someone else wants to pay that's up to them.

SouthWestmom · 03/08/2015 20:00

150 will not get a laptop that works quickly and efficiently or has much storage - if he uses it for work he needs something decent.

PurpleSwift · 03/08/2015 20:02

Yabu for no1. You broke it, you pay for it and I think £150 is a measly amount for a laptop.

Just say no to your sister.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 03/08/2015 20:08

Noeuf OP said he needs the internet and Word for work so no need for high spec.

HermioneWeasley · 03/08/2015 20:15

I would say they should have put their laptop away safely rather than under a table where it might get drinks spilled, get kicked or trodden on etc. i think £150 is a fair contribution to replacing a used laptop.

Tell your sister to piss off and you won't be impressed if she borrows it from your gps.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 03/08/2015 20:17

Was the laptop open then? If closed fail to see how it could cause any damage?
I spilt a glass of wine on my laptop when writing my dissertation and it was fine that was all over the keyboard that had a few keys missing. I put it under a radiator to dry and it worked. A couple of the keys were a bit sticky but it all worked find.

Queenbean · 03/08/2015 20:24

SIL is taking the piss. Yes, you broke it, but it's very fishy that she is absolutely sure it can't be fixed and she needs to money absolutely immediately.

Don't lend money to your sister. But you know that already.

GreyBird84 · 03/08/2015 20:36

I spilled orange juice over my dads laptop. It worked that evening so I thought I had got away with it. The next day it died. I still said nothing incase it was a coincidence but the repair guy said it was destroyed by an orange liquid so I owned up but my dad was grand & bought himself a new one - I did offer him mine but he wasn't having any of it! I totally understand you feeling annoyed about the situation - like your SIL £ isn't a problem for my dad so I would have been upset if he took £ from me for it knowing we are not rolling in it but he wud have been witching his rights to do do. It wud def have created a different dynamic though.

Under no circumstances give your sister any £.

Purplepoodle · 03/08/2015 20:49

I wouldn't have paid for laptop. it's utterly stupid to leave it under a table (presuming coffee table). If they had valued the laptop it would have gone back in its bag and in a safe place. People spill drinks, that life. if I was sil I would have claimed in house insurance - it's the whole point of having house/contents insurance.

TartanTrousers · 03/08/2015 21:03

#1 YABU - you knocked over the drink and broke the laptop, you should have paid the full amount for a replacement. I also WFH and would be knackered if someone broke my laptop, and no I wouldn't be able to borrow one in the meantime.

Why should the owner have to go through a potentially lengthy insurance claim and increased premiums for your error?

#2 YANBU - no, your sister is an adult and needs to stand on her own two feet. Not your issue to bail her out.

QuiteLikely5 · 03/08/2015 21:11

You broke it so you should pay for it. Even if they have lots of cash it doesn't mean they should spend it on a new laptop. Be grateful that, if they are so rich they didn't have a Mac laptop.

I can't believe that people are actually critisizing the fact they had their laptop out! Hellooooo there house they can put it where they like

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