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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my dogs are Ok off leads around horses!

290 replies

Teapot101 · 01/08/2015 14:13

We walk a bridlepath around our home. We pass many horses with no problems whatsoever. 3 riders are continually rude to us and I've had enough. "can you put your dog on a lead" and when I did passed me saying "This is a bridle path you know" I replied that it was also a footpath! She was clearly grumpy that I was walking up the footpath with my dogs they could not have a good canter. They could have waited until I was at the end. My dogs do not approach horses and are very used to walking pass them. they do not bark or skitter or anything. We pass several other locals on horses and have no probs whatsoever. It's the arrogant attitude that is bothering me. They never say good morning, are v cold and standoffish, so do not feel predisposed to dive into the nettles to benefit their ride!!

OP posts:
maninawomansworld · 02/08/2015 00:25

I ride and I have dogs so I see it from both sides.

Assuming that the bridleway is also a footpath and you have equal rights to be there, then I would still call the dogs in when I see riders approaching. Any horse can spook at any time - even horses who are usually steady. That said, if I know a horse is a little skittish then I do not ride it where I know I am likely to encounter a lot of other countryside users.

I get what you mean though, it's the attitude that just makes you feel a little less like co-operating. Even if you know that you really should.

MidniteScribbler · 02/08/2015 07:27

I'm a dog owner, and I would always call my dog to heel and put them on lead if a horse approaches. It takes just a couple of seconds, and it's the safest thing to do, regardless of how well I know my dogs.

  1. I don't know the horse, and as a dog owner, it is my responsibility to protect my dog from being injured in the event that the horse is not used to dogs.
  2. If a dog gets a fright and runs away, then you may spend a few hours searching for them. If a horse gets a fright and runs away then the rider could easily be killed or seriously injured. On a scale of risk, then taking the option where horse can't get spooked is just basic common sense.
  3. Because we all have to share spaces, and I'd rather riders are on the paths than having to ride along the road.
ScoutRifle · 02/08/2015 07:40

I usually grab my dogs collars when horses go by, I don't trust them enough not to want to play with the horses and scare them. They are very stupid dogs. Very gentle but incredibly dumb. Kids love them because as soon as you stroke them they drop to the floor and show their bellies for a rub. Walking them can take forever.

britnay · 02/08/2015 07:53

goodasitgets : Are you going to Sam's funeral? I'm too far away to go, but I'll be thinking of her and I hope you have some good matchy matchy to wear x

Pseudonym99 · 02/08/2015 08:10

I replied that it was also a footpath!

Its is a bridleway OR a footpath. It cannot be both.

GrumpyOldBiddy2 · 02/08/2015 08:15

I'm a dog owner and I hate it when other dog owners don't recall their dogs or put them on leads when there are other people around. It's selfish, I'm not surprised that the horse riders were getting snippy.

Bunbaker · 02/08/2015 08:21

OK. Shall I state the obvious?

OP: AIBU?
Everyone else: Yes

OP disappears.

PUGaLUGS · 02/08/2015 08:23

I always put my dog back on the lead or pull her to one side as a matter of courtesy if a rider comes past us.

We walk past many horses in the fields every day and she doesn't bat an eyelid.

But both are unpredictable no matter how well trained.

YABVU.

MehsMum · 02/08/2015 08:40

Another YABU.

I have dogs and I also ride. It's very hard where I live to find good off-road riding where you can have a decent canter, so when I walk along the bridle path I always keep an eye and an ear out for horses, ready to call the dogs back to me if necessary. I don't want my dogs ridden down (which could easily happen if they, say, came out of the hedge just in front of a horse) and I don't want a horse or rider to be injured either.

Courtesy and common sense are needed in shared open spaces in a crowded country. Obvious, I would have thought.

PandaMummyofOne · 02/08/2015 08:52

Just put your dog on the lead whilst they pass. DM rides horses with my two accompanying her. But another horse doesn't know my two, and my two don't know the horse. So the safety of the rider, the horse and the dogs is paramount to me. So back on the harnesses for thirty seconds is just easier for all around.

potap123 · 02/08/2015 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Teapot101 · 02/08/2015 12:16

Sorry for lack of response Bunbaker. A good friend died yesterday. Some people seem to forget that as I pointed out in original post I DID PUT MY DOG ON THE LEAD. Others have recognised that it is the attitude I am mainly miffed about. If I see other dogs approaching on a lead I normally call out and check that they are OK with my dogs approaching and put them on a lead happily if they ask me to. I find some (not all) horse riders to be quite rude and arrogant. If I couldn't control my dogs I wouldn't take them out. Think the sam should apply to horses.

OP posts:
nicestrongtea · 02/08/2015 12:27

Sorry to hear about your friend OP.

You are missing the point that a dog is usually easy to put on a lead and control.
A horse is about a ton of animal.
Its completely different, if the horse is spooked no amount of force that a human being can apply will stop it.

Yes of course its responsible not to take an easily spooked horse out near a main road or something known to scare it but even the most solid of horses can sometimes be spooked, thats the point, they are not robots!

Original poster
Teapot101 · 02/08/2015 12:37

I see your point strong tea, and some of the others on here. The way I have been spoken to and the attitude of the riders screamed "Arrogance" rather than, "I'm ever so sorry but my horse is worried around dogs, would you mind…"
It might have been nicer once I put my dogs on the leads to say "Thanks for that, my horse can be unpredictable around dogs" rather than "This is a bridle path!".

OP posts:
MehsMum · 02/08/2015 12:59

Ah, it may be you got YABU'ed because it was NOT clear from your OP that you had put your dog on the lead - and your title suggested that leaving them off-lead was your default.

Riders should not be rude to dog walkers, but dog walkers need to bear in mind that horses are very big and can behave in unexpected ways.

Sorry about your friend, btw. Flowers

SoupDragon · 02/08/2015 13:05

Its is a bridleway OR a footpath. It cannot be both.

It is irrelevant given that walkers have at least an equal right to walk on a bridle way as horse riders have to ride.

nicestrongtea · 02/08/2015 13:11

I agree that it was not clear at all from your OP that you put your dog on a lead and it came across that you just didn't see why you should do it!
or maybe you realised YWBU .

In the scheme of things its not worth getting so het up,your DF has died,Im sorry to hear that.
Time to move on OP Flowers

SoupDragon · 02/08/2015 13:14

Sorry to hear about your friend, OP. Flowers

You did clearly state you put your dog on the lead in the first post but I think it was easy to miss if skim read.

ElkeDagMeisje · 02/08/2015 13:15

OP I find some (not all) horse riders to be quite rude and arrogant. If I couldn't control my dogs I wouldn't take them out. Think the sam should apply to horses.

You haven't described horses being out of control though, have you? In fact, you have been very vague. All we know is that riders repeatedly ask you to put your dogs on the lead when passing you. And other dog walkers also sometimes ask you to put your dogs on the lead. Although in both cases, you're not sure why.

I think it sounds quite likely that you're a bit unaware of whats going on around you, a bit slow to react, and I doubt that horse riders and other dog walkers ask you repeatedly to put your dogs on the lead for no reason. They see an ineffectual dog owner, make a quick calculation of the risk (which you seem unable to do) and ask you to put your dog on the lead. I'm sure both groups pass loads of people with loose dogs and its doubtful they ask all of them to put their dogs on the lead, so applying logic to it, it seems that you are the common denominator.

I find some (not all) horse riders to be quite rude and arrogant.

Because they ask you to put your dogs on the lead when they pass you. Perfectly reasonable thing to do.

I've been bitten by a dog which was loose when its owner was walking it. If it had bitten a small child or a horse's leg, it could have caused terrible injuries. Just stop being so selfish, and do what people are asking you in a public space. Drop the attitude about people being arrogant and rude when they are being perfectly reasonable.

maninawomansworld · 02/08/2015 13:24

Drop the attitude about people being arrogant and rude when they are being perfectly reasonable.

Sorry I disagree.

What they are requesting is perfectly reasonable, to keep the OP's dogs under close control while they pass on the horses.
However reasonable the request however, there is a right way to ask. The OP clearly states that they are regularly rude. We teach our children that good manners cost nothing and are more likely to result in people cooperating with you, so why do some adults seem to think that the same doesn't apply to them.
If someone is rude and arrogant to me then I tell them straight to eff right off. You want me to do something then the word 'please' should be in there at the very least.

pinktrufflechoc · 02/08/2015 13:26

Yy manina

WanderWomble · 02/08/2015 13:59

I have a horse who will try to kill any lose dog she sees. She had a foal badly bitten/attacked by a dog before I bought her and has her mind firmly set that all dogs are evil.

Your dogs are much safer on a lead around horses.

nicestrongtea · 02/08/2015 14:06

Hmmm I tend to find people who think everyone else is rude are the problem.

Put the dog on a lead straightaway and the issue is solved.
Riders will just say thanks.
its the OPs stubborn "why should I" attitude that's causing the problem here, the riders had to ask her and she didn't like it, when it is simply sensible for everyone.

goodasitgets · 02/08/2015 14:37

britnay - yes Smile although it doesn't seem real at all Sad
I have a v v bright outfit to wear for her

NoNameDame · 02/08/2015 15:03

I was prepared to say yanbu as you both have equal right and if a horse has a problem with dogs it should be the one to avoid dogs not the other way around HOWEVER someone mentioned how a rider could get their neck broken by a spooked horse and that's a good enough reason to ask another person to do something as quick and easy as putting a lead on a dog.

No brainer really, could you honestly live with the guilt if there was an accident?

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