Am I being a shitty person/mum?

[thegreenbackboogie]

DD's dad has come to spend the weekend with her (we broke up in March). We clash and bicker a lot, not a week goes by where we don't argue about something. He arrived today and within an hour he was being moody and arsey. I've had a shit week so thought fuck this I'm going out. So I'm meeting my friend for a drink once DD has gone to bed.

I can't help but feel guilty. He looked very surprised when I said I'm off out and has demanded I transfer 100 quid into his account, presumably because he thinks I'm loaded now I'm going out for a couple of drinks.

AIBU?

She's 10 months by the way, not that it's relevant. Oh and excuse the foul language!

Umm. Why should you give him £100? You're parenting his child.
And YANBU. Go out. Have fun.

Why does he want money? He sounds like you are well rid.

Of course YANU - sounds like a well deserved drink, enjoy it. What's the money thing about - why should he be getting money from you? Sounds like he is BU unless you have a specific financial set up

Because he's skint. Not my problem!

And don't feel guilty! Not for a minute. Your baby needs you to take time out and relax

Twat. (Him)

Why on earth should you be giving him money because you are going out??? Because he's babysitting or something? If so, present him with your invoice at his going rate.

Yanbu. Going out sound like an ideal thing to do while he's there.

Yanbu. In fact I think you are being very sensible to go out, and avoid more arguing. Makes sense for ypou to go out when he's there to look after his daughter.
But if he's asking you for money, ( shouldn't he be paying you?) he's clearly a dodgy type, and I would make sure that you don't leave anything around that he could "borrow" or sell.
What confused said - go out and have fun!

What a wanker. I hope you told him to take a long walk off a short pier re the money. If he's lucky you could leave him a pizza to eat while you're down the pub.

He's demanded?

He realises he doesn't get to demand money, right?

I suppose he's planning to walk out, scuppering your night out if you don't pay him for caring for his own child, right?

You're feeling guilty for going out when your child is sleeping? And not giving someone money who you don't owe money?

Ummm, I'm worried you're questioning yourself!

Ugh.... he comes and stays and asks you for money.

Blimey ....you are well shut of that drain.

What's it got to do with him you going out anyway?!

What a dick. You're no longer in a relationship with him so his money worries are only your problem inasmuch as it impacts his maintenance payments.

Can't he see DD away from you so you're not arguing in front of her?

Well, I went out at 8.30 and got home about half an hour ago. He called me to say she was upset, I rushed home and she's perfectly fine! So annoyed

You are being perfectly reasonable. Ignore him.

How frustrating OP. Did he say what was supposedly wrong with her? And as her parent, should he not have been able to deal with it himself anyway?

He didn't give me a specific reason but I have a feeling he was just wanting to interrupt my night and make me feel guilty. He certainly should be able to deal with whatever happens himself but he doesn't seem to be able to. Oh well, at least dd is OK.

Are you the poster whose ex left a cheque at your house "accidently" and asked you to lodge it for his rent payment? And then blamed you for him missing his rent.

He sounds like a dick. Do you really have to allow him to stay? I'd be very reluctant on that.

It's hard, isn't it - the balance between letting children know and build a relationship with their birth parents, and how crap they are!

Please don't give him any money!

Umm, I think I'd tell him in future that he can find his own accommodations when he comes to see DD.

I don't understand why you are allowing him to control you like this. Let him make his own arrangements in future.